I'm so sad... and I feel so alone... I'm crying right now..

[hikariyamada15]

 I'm really stupid... why can't I stop crying...

I just realized that I don't have any real friends.... 
and the fact that I'm all alone tears me apart...
I always say that its good to be alone
but deep inside I'm scared to be alone...

I don't wanna end up all alone...
I don't wanna end up alone again...

I don't wanna loose another friend.... 
I can't stop crying.. I can't even see the keyboard

I just feel so sad... I don't wanna loose anyone anymore...
I just made my friend upset and I thought he's gonna hate me forever...

and my so-called friends had a party without inviting me...
and instead of inviting me they invited my enemy...

and when I asked them where they were going they just
told me that they were going to a party and all the
expenses are gonna be paid by the birthday celebrant...
its just sad that they didn't invite me.... they were my good friends
and we used to have fun together...

I feel such a looser... when I found out all of those
my world suddenly went cold.... I don't wanna be alone...
I need someone... I really cried when I upset my friend....

i got so scared... if I had lost him I would probably be all alone...

Sure I still have friends... but how do I know that they're real? 
How do I know if they see me as a friend?? How do I know if they're gonna stay?

I don't wanna end up alone....

If my childhood friend gets a girlfriend, surely he'll leave me..

"I'll be always there for you!" that's what my old friend told me...
but now that we have different school, she doesn't talk to me anymore...

Those words were all lies... I can't trust it anymore....
I'm scared.... I'm so scared... I don't wanna be alone...

sure I still have friends... but how do I know