(no subject)
Sometimes, all the time recently if I'm quite honest with myself, I wonder if I'm missing something. I feel like at some point of my life I was in the bathroom while everyone was having the lowdown explained to them. For years I have felt the uncertainty and then the anxiety that comes with my being introduced to social situations and I feel that while not dramatic in its effect it has steadily gotten worse with only few exceptions.
For many years I have been in the habit of labeling things about my self. I'm depressed, I'm asthmatic, I'm failing, I'm fat, I'm alone. I also have the tendancy to look up any symptom that I may get and thoroughly research it until I find and acceptable and cause/Suspect for my supposed ailment. Granted, I really have found things out that have been wrong with me such as Cysts. strep throat , and other simple ailments. In my endeavors from the last few months I have seemingly diagnosed myself with IBS, Irritable Bowel Syndrome as I have unsual intolerance to dairy products at certain times during the last few years. I also dicovered that I am allergic to avocadoes... Although internet research was not necesarry.
Anyways the point is that I have, for years, suspected that there is something not quite right with how I developed socaially and I have theorized many different causes including my self imposed semi - isolated childhood and adolescence to the verbally harsh dictator that I call my father. But the fact of the matter is that I have once again found something seemingly concrete that can possible be THE ONE.
Nonverbal Learning Disorder, otherwise known as NLD, is a disorder closely related to Autism and Aspergers. You can find information on it here:
http://www.nldline.com/
and http://www.med.umich.edu/yourchild/topics/nld.htm
I am not entirely certain as, like many forms of autism, no two cases are the same and symptoms or expressed in varying degrees.
I'm not sure why I wrote this out. I just wanted to get it out there in the open even though barely anyone, if anyone, reads my post