Lust at First Bite Third Blood Part I
I thought it was just my imagination about Yuto telling me that he’s one of them since lack of blood is often resulting to hallucination and delusion, but I’m wrong because he’s actually there even after I had eaten my meal and even after I had slept for three hours. Yes! I’m eating of course! Since foods are still so appetizing for me and maybe this is the reason why am I not dead until now. Now I feel like I’m cursing my own gluttonous nature. Sigh
Knowing the truth is so painful that my heart is about to explode right now. I mean for so many years that we’ve been friends! I haven’t notice that he’s a voracious being who loves to drink the blood of human beings! But as for now and as of the moment, that is not the point of my argument. What I’m trying to say is that I was deceived, totally deceived by this guy. But why? Why did he lie to me?
“Because I don’t want you to hate me…” that’s an old tune already and I think I’ve heard that from Yuri at first then from Yuya and now from him. Him? It’s Yuto! Guys I’m talking to him right now but my head is just looking opposite to his position. “I’m sorry…”
Yeah right! You should be sorry! But I think I can’t forgive you for the rest of my life or maybe until tonight since I’m praying again to die after Yuki savages me before midnight. “Does Yuri know about this?...” I asked him but it is more like whispering because my weakness had reached my vocal cords already.
“Yes…” he answered back but there is something in his tone. It is like as if he was devastated, saddened, shock, terrified or hopeless. I can’t explain it clearly for I myself is also in the same tone as him. Have you ever experience that? A feeling which is too unexplainable because of too many emotions on it with a lot of fluctuation also? “And we break up…” he muffled and I turn my head to face him this time. Beads of tears are glimmering on his lower lids and I can see that Yuto is holding them back. But what’s the point of holding them if they want to fall that badly?
“Don’t hold it back…” I told him and he dumped his face over my chest. I was still furious at him of course that I want to push him or to punch him but the agonizing cry that he made cause me to change my mind. I can’t abandon him in this situation for he is still my friend and he is still the bestfriend I ever had. Remember the quote that says that a friend in need is a friend indeed? I guess I’m still the Ryosuke back then, even though the truth he just gave me is too much for my heart to handle. “It’s ok… just pour it out…” I told him as I force my right hand to reach his head and I’m glad that I was able to place it properly on his hair.
“I love him…” he cried while gasping his breath intermittently. “And I thought telling the truth will strengthen our relationship but he end up panicking that he even called me a monster right away…” he spurred out and I can sense the heaviness he has inside his chest. But it’s the truth Yuto! You’re a monster and I think I had this empathy when it comes to Yuri’s feelings because we are on the same shoes. “I have to get you out of here…” he mumbled as he faced me straightly and I got surprise! Who would not be?! I mean we are still ‘emoing’ over his lost but he intruded that saving-thing right away with total seriousness! So who would not be surprise with that?
“It’s impossible…” I said and he smiled at me even though the tears he had on his eyes are still pouring like crazy.
“This is the only way for me to pay my debt… so I have to get you out of here and protect you for the rest of your life…” he told me and I shivered in total coldness because he undress me into nakedness.
“What are you doing?...” I asked and he slashed my wrist without saying anything at first. Shit! Is he going to prey me also? Is this what I’ve got after comforting him like a friend a while ago? “Ou---” I was on the middle of my shout due to the pain on my wound but he cupped my mouth and all I can do is to cry. Why is he doing this to me?
“Sorry Yam… but we have to leave a trace of your blood in this mattress so that no one will find out that you had left this place after we escaped…” he whispered with his hand spreading my blood on the bed and it is so gruesome, terrifyingly gruesome! Because Yuki had never done that to me before! Remember that I told you about Yuki’s meticulousness? He’s a type of vampire who never stains a blood anywhere because every drop of it should be inside his throat. But wait! Yuto is not after my blood even though everyone in this house has an urge to bite me anytime, that’s why Yuya is always on guard inside or outside this room but where the hell is he right now? “Shit!... why do you smell this good…” he grumbled.
Damn! Yuto is after all a vampire because he lifted his bloody hand toward his lips to take a taste of it but he resisted it when he dashed himself to breath outside the window. For some fresh air maybe? Or to control the lust he has over my blood.
“Sorry…” he sighed as he took something from his pocket. It’s a bottle with no label on its body and he opened the lid while taking a walk back to my bloody bed. “To tell you the truth Yam… I befriend you because of your smell since I thought you’re my perfect match…” he said and I got my eyes dilated in shock.
WTF! So after all I was really deceived from the very start since all he wants was my blood and not my companionship! And what’s with this perfect match again?!
“But that thought of mine was wrong because a perfect match is someone who will bring those fangs of ours into growth…” he continued while pouring something into his palm.
Oh! I see! So that’s why I was not bitten by him throughout our friendship years because I’m not his perfect match. Great! So who is his perfect match?
“My fangs only evolved during the time you introduce Yuri to me…” he cited while handing these three globular things toward my mouth.
What?! So it’s Yuri? “Yuri is your perfect match?...” I asked him but he did not answer at all since the answer is so obvious already. So why ask Yamada Ryosuke! Crap! I’m such a dumb! Whack me! Ok, assuming that I had received that but still I can’t believe this! “What is your relationship to Takaki Yuya?...” I questioned because this was not explained since I woke up this morning but he dropped the things he had on hand inside my mouth in an instant. And I can’t resist on munching them because the flavor is so yummy! It’s vanilla people! And I love vanilla so much!
“We’ll wait for the reaction of those drugs before we leave here…” he told me while bandaging the cut he had made on my wrist and wrapping me with a cloak all over.
Eh?! Reaction of those drugs? Why didn’t he tell me that those candies are drugs?! “Yuto…” I rasped and he lifted me like a bride on his arms. “Don’t do this or else they’ll catch you…” I warned him and he smiled at me again. Screw your smile Yuto! Can’t you understand me! There are people inside this mansion and besides how will you send me out here without them capturing you!
“All your worries had been taken cared of… so don’t worry…” he uttered with full of confidence as he climbed the ridge of the window. And GOD! Is he going to jump from here down to the ground?! But isn’t this the fourth floor?
“Don’t do this Yuto…” I shivered for I fear to break a bone but damn him! He did it! And we landed swiftly on the ground with his eyes glowing in redness. And the next thing that happened, I fainted! Why did I pass out? Because I’m scared that my body was deoxygenize at that moment! So forgive me if I can’t give you the detail of Yuto’s heroic act.
I woke up the next day and found myself in a room with a fluid of dextrose attached on my left hand and a bag of blood attached on its port. Is this a hospital? That’s the first question I had in mind and someone had pulled a curtain on the side of the window that allows some light and fresh air to enter the room. “Nurse?...” I mumbled and that someone walked toward me.
“It’s me Yuto…”
Yuto? So does this mean I was saved? This is completely a different room from the one I had in that mansion and as far as I could remember, Yuto had brought me outside before I passed out. “Where am I?...” I asked and he pulled my upper torso to sit up on bed.
“In a place where no vampires could find you…” he told me while pushing a tray of food on my lap. “Eat… you need to regain your strength because I have something to show you next week…”
I obeyed for I trust him because he is the only one and the first one who saved me from that darkness, but how? How did he manage to save me? And how did we escape that dreadful place? “Yuto…” I called him and he looked back instantly. “How did you bring me here and who attached these things on my hand…” I asked while pointing at the bags of fluid hanging on the stand beside my bed.
“Let’s talk about that later… just eat first…” he instructed and I devour the foods right away. Oh! I miss this! Food and freedom! I guess my plea was heard by someone above and I can start my new life without that Takaki-guy!
“I’m finished!...” I yapped happily as I show my plates and glasses with no trace of anything left. “So can you tell me now?...” I asked and he blinked at me. “What’s wrong?...”
“It looks like as if you’re not in any trauma or in any weaknesses anymore…” he mumbled and I laughed at him.
“Of course!... food is my fuel and freedom is my motivation!... so now that I’m free!... I can go back to my family and live a life just like before!...” I chanted chirpily but Yuto is not joining my atmosphere. He is just staring at me blankly and I can’t handle to see that flat affect anymore. “Hey!... what’s wrong with you?!...” I exclaimed and he cleared his throat. “Yuto?...”
“Don’t forget that I’m a vampire Yam…” he said and I scowled at him.
“I know that!... but you are still my friend!... and I owe you my life!...” I smiled and I’m so glad that he smile back but it was only a second when he turned back into that annoying expression again. What the hell is wrong with him?! “Is there something bothering you?...”
“About your question…” he cleared his throat again and I can sense something undesirable about it. “It was Takaki...”
Takaki? Takaki what? “Who’s he?...” I asked and I believed I had that annoying expression pasted on my face already. That’s very good Yamada Ryosuke! Erase his existence in your memories and life so that he’ll never bother your feelings anymore. “Yuto?...”
“He’s your boyfriend… can’t you remember?...” he asked me with his forehead squinting in crookedness and I hate to see his face in that way. Can’t you get me Yuto! I don’t want to hear anything from him anymore! Because he’s dead! He’s dead for me forever! So stop saying his name to me ever again!
“I can’t…” I yawned as I stretched my arms on the air. “I feel sleepy… can we have that talk later when I wake up or maybe tomorrow…” I told him and I bet that he noticed my awkwardness this time because he lend his hand to put me back on my bed carefully. He’s very caring isn’t he? Well I guess vampires are really like that. You may find them romantic but for me, they are bunch of liars except for Yuto I guess since he’s my savior! They lie to take something from you. And they’ll tell you the truth once they had taken that something already. So where’s the mutual relationship there?
I fully recovered after eating a bounty of food and sleeping a bounty of time for a week and within those days I did not raised my questions ever again. Why? Because I don’t want to hear it, especially if Takaki Yuya is involve. He’s gone, totally gone in my life! And if he shows himself in front of me again? I’ll kill him even it means I have to suffer in jail forever. That’s how much I hate him right now! So don’t stop me because I was the one who suffered and not you!
“Where are we going today?...” I asked while fixing myself before the mirror.
“You’ll find it out later…” he said with his hand extending these three tablets on me. It’s the one I had taken before he saved me from that dreadful mansion. And I haven’t asked him about that yet.
“Am I going to take this again?...” I asked and he nods at me right away. “What’s these by the way?...”
“Drugs that could mask your scent…”
Oh! I see! So this may be one of the reasons why I had escaped that place with his help successfully. But what the heck is this? Why do I feel like I’m burning in fever a little and small patches of redness are forming on the skin of my arms and legs? And it’s itchy!!! “Yuto… I guess I’m allergic to this…” I complained and he patted me on the shoulder.
“That’s the reaction of the drug and that means you’re safe to go out…” he assured me but still it is so itchy!
“Why didn’t I felt this before?!...” I asked while scratching my legs and even my butt! Damn this itchiness!
“Because you pass out…” he grinned evilly and I glared at him. He’s really the Yuto I’ve known before. An evil ploy master! “Come on!... just bear with it so that you can get out from here…”
Yeah right. Ever since the day he brought me here, I was not able to step outside the door because I was still recuperating then. So now I guess I have to bear with this so that I can go outside and meet my family after he finished his business with me. “Fine!... let’s go…”
“Wait!...” he called out before he throws something over my head that covers me down to my waist. “Wear that robe because vampires are looking for you… so even we mask your scent they could still identify you by your face…”
Damn! So does this mean I’m not safe anywhere? Then how could I have the freedom I want? And how could I meet my family again?
“We’re here…” he said when the taxi went to stop. I looked outside the window and found a wall around five meters in height with endless width I think, because I can’t see the edge of it in either of the sides.
“What are we going to do with that wall?...” I asked and he chuckled at me as he pulled my head to turn on the other side and God! It’s a cemetery! A haunting place of all the scary things I could think and I feel like my hairs are standing on its place already. “What are we going to do with that cemetery?...”
“We are going to visit someone…” he asserted as he dragged me outside the taxi but I start resisting when I saw the gateway which is just a few more steps away from us. “Don’t be such a scaredy-cat!...” he sneered at me but still I don’t want to enter it!
“Yuto… you know exactly that I hate this place…” I cried like a kid as I stomp my feet before him. “I’ll accept a haunted house but not a cemetery…”
“It’s daylight Yam!... ghosts are only appearing at night time!...”
“How sure are you?!...” Damn! Why did I argue about that?
“Because---” he stopped with his eyes staring not on me but rather on my back and I wonder why, so I turned my head to see the cause of his dazed and Oh my~ This must be very painful for him to meet Yuri in this place with my family. With my family?! Wait, wait, wait, wait! Why they are here?! And what’s with those flowers on their hands?! Did someone just died? Was it Grandma or Grandpa? “Yam…” a call that awakens me from my focus. “Don’t react right away once we’re inside… and once you’ll see something detrimental…”
“What are you talking about?...”
“You’ll know everything later…” he said and I end up curious that I drag my own self to enter the cemetery even though I hate this place so much. It is so strange that my family hasn’t notice me even though they just pass before my sight or should I say before my face. And it is so strange for Yuri to act that calm even though Yuto is clearly visible to him. What exactly is going on? Was this because of my robe? Or Yuri is just pretending that he did not see Yuto at all? Or I become a lot thinner that my family and Yuri can’t recognize me anymore? “We’re here Yam… so calm down…”
Calm down? What should I? I looked at the tomb being cleaned by my parents and fuck! Why is my name written on the lapidary? And who is that guy on that picture?! That’s not me at all! I mean he’s too thin and I’m too fat! So why is his picture placed over the lapidary with Yamada Ryosuke written on it! “What the heck---” I was shut when Yuto palmed my mouth with his other arm resisting a struggle around my waist. I want to run to tell everyone that I’m here but I can’t move! I want to yell to tell everyone that I’m alive but I can’t speak! And I want to show myself to tell everyone that I’m Yamada Ryosuke but Yuto is stopping me! What should I do?!
“Nichan!... I bought your favorite vanilla ice cream!...” the stipulation made by the little girl who placed a gallon of ice cream beside the picture frame of the said tomb. It caught my attention that I stop my struggling with Yuto right away. I missed her voice, her face, her smile so as her naughtiness. She is the only one in my family who has this gut to fight with me over my favorite foods. And she’s the first one who ever called me a pig but still I love her. I love her so much! But why is she giving that ice cream to the guy who is not even at par to my fattiness! “You can have all of it and I’ll just buy another one for myself…” she continued while poking the glass on the picture frame. “I miss you so much…” she cried and I was moved, completely moved. Tears on my eyes went down that Yuto had to drag me a little further from them to be unnoticed. I can’t stop it! My heart is skipping a beat of misery and I can’t breathe regularly. I have no idea on what is going on but I can see with my very own eyes that my family can’t recognize me at all. Why? Why is this happening to me?
“Sorry Yam… Takaki modified the memories of all the people who know you…” Yuto said and I end up pushing him on the ground. I sit on top of him and start punching him endlessly while shedding my tears endlessly also. I can’t hold it back! I can’t stop! And I don’t know if I’m killing him already! Oh God! Help me on what to do?! Because my mind so as my heart are now in total darkness that hatred are flaming more and more.
“Why did he do this to me?!... Why he took my family away from me?!... Why he took everyone away from me?!... Why did he ruin my life?!... What did I do to deserve this?!...” I whined with my knuckles stabbing the chest of my bestfriend and I can see him wincing, groaning and even crying. I feel sorry for him of course for he’s not at fault here but I can’t resist my anger that it keeps on pushing me to use him as a scapegoat. “All I did is to love him before!... So why did he took all the people who loves me too?!...” I cried and this time I guess I stop due to exhaustion.
“Because he wanted to protect you and he wanted to protect all of those who love you too…” the groaning response I got from Yuto as he pushed himself to sit while comforting me in my misery. “Vampires are after you and that also mean that they’re after to the people who know you, so the only way for Takaki to protect them is to erased every bit of your existence on their lives…” he whispered with his palm patting my head. “Ryosuke… Takaki did this to save you…”
“Save me?!...” I yelled as I shove his hand away from my head. “This is not saving Yuto!... He killed me!... He killed my existence and that means I’m dead!...” I protested and he hugged me firmly with my face resting on his shoulder. “What should I do now?...” I mumbled as I claw my nails on his back. I’m burning! I’m burning in sadness! And I feel like I want to die again!
“Live on…” Yuto answered back and my tears shed to its fullest again. I cry and cry until I noticed the departure of my family. I stood up right away to see their faces once more for I don’t know if when is the next time for me to see them again.
“Father got thinner and mother seemed to be very tired…” I sobbed for I haven’t seen them in this condition before. I guess they had grieved too much that their physical condition are quite deteriorating. “I want to hug them…” I walked but Yuto pulled me back and I did not resist this time for I understand. I can’t throw myself at them because I am now a stranger in their eyes. And I’ll remain like that forever and ever.
“We need to leave… I’ll give the rest of the explanation later…” Yuto said but I shook my head. “Yam…”
“Give me few more minutes… I just want to eat something…” I said and he let his hook off my hand. I hurried my pace toward the tomb and took the gallon of ice cream that was placed on it. I open it and end up using my hand to scoop the cream toward my mouth. I gobbled it with my tears falling on it also. I know it’s nasty! But I want to eat it! And I want to have it since it is really for me! So just let me have this moment people because I want to have that love even it is just transferred by my sister on this food. “Why is this salty?...” I cried and Yuto squatted beside me.
“Because of your tears…”
Idiot! I know that! You don’t have to say it frankly! I just want to ask that question for my own self!
“Excuse me?...” the question that caused us to panic a little because the one who intruded is no other than Yuri. Oh no! What should I do about the ice cream? I had eaten half of it already and I can’t tell him that I ate this because I’m Ryosuke. “Who are you?...”
God! It breaks my heart and I guess Yuto’s heart is now splintered to nothingness. But why can’t he recognize Yuto if it was only my existence was modified. “Passerby…” I grumbled with my mouth full of cream and I guess I look very stupid on it.
“I see…” Yuri nodded as he took a sneak on the ice cream but I closed the lid right away. “Did you eat it?...” he asked and I can’t say no of course because it’s too obvious already.
“Yes…” I looked down and I heard a chuckle thus I looked up instantly. It’s Yuri! And he’s giggling just like the old times when I’m doing something that could make him laugh. But why?
“You can have it but share some of it to your friend…” he said with his hand pointing to Yuto and I can see the cry which are about to be drawn on the face of my bestfriend. “So see you then…” he smiled as he waived his hand on us before he left and that’s the only time I heard the cry of the guy who is just squatting beside me.
I guess I am not the only one who is in misery here because Yuto cried more than what I did a while ago. But I don’t understand! Why Yuri can’t recognize him? “What happened?...” I asked as I switch myself as the comforter this time.
“This is the debt I had with Takaki…” he sniffed as he wiped his nose with his sleeve. “I asked him to remove my existence to Yuri’s memory and in return I’ll save you from that dreadful place and protect you for the rest of your life…”
Ah. I see. But why?! “Why do you have to do that?... I mean---”
“Because I love him Yam!... And I don’t want him to have any trauma from me!... I asked Takaki to erase his memories so that he can smile again… so that he’ll be happy again… and so that he can find someone who will love him more than I do…” he whined with his fist pounding his own chest. And I think it is battered very badly already because I had pounded it also before. “It hurts!... I never knew that it hurt this much if the one you love can’t recognize you at all…”
Oh Heavenly God! Why do we have to suffer in this misery together? Are we really unlucky? Or we are just born to live in despair? I understand Yuto as much as he understands me but these understandings will keep us in the dark forever since we can’t do anything about it. So is there any reason for us to live on?
Yes there is. And that is our friendship.
“I’m going to buy something at the nearby store Yam!... so don’t go out if I’m not here yet!...” Yuto instructed me before he closed the door of our house. We are living together since then and I think it’s more than half a year already. And within those months I feel like I was being watch by someone that I almost feared to get out anymore.
Hey! Don’t think of me as a housewife because I and Yuto are sharing responsibilities! And besides we are just friends! If you’re asking about money then it’s easy because I’m doing an online shop and Yuto is the one delivering them! And guess what my products are… they’re cakes and pastries and I’m so happy because I feel like I’m a very successful chef even though I don’t have a proper schooling on it.
“What’s with this customer?... why does he keep on insisting to add a marshmallow on a cake and why does he keep on ordering almost everyday?...” I murmured with my fingers typing an order of approval on my laptop. But I can’t deny this customer because he’s paying twice the price of my cakes and he’s very nice. Yup! Nice to the point that he’s very considerate because I mixed up the order last time yet he paid thrice the price of it. I tried to return the money but he told me to keep it thus I can’t ignore his orders lately. “I guess I have to buy the marshmallows myself since Yuto is out…” I told myself as I pace my way toward the door but my hands went numb the moment I touch the knob. I guess I’m scared. Scared to get out since I have this experiences that someone is following me anywhere I go. “I can’t…” I mumbled and the doorbell rang. “Yuto…” I smiled and my hand twisted the knob at last, thinking that Yuto might had come back already but WTF! Why is he here with his face staring at me in familiarity?! Does he know me? Or he’s one of my customers only?
“Senpai…”
“Y-Y-Yuri!!!... y-y-you know me?!...” I stuttered with my finger pointing toward my face and the cute lad nods in response with a bit of tears on his eyes. What the hell?! I thought his memories were modified! Then why can he recognize me?
“Senpai!...” he cried as he surged a hug on me. “Sorry for lying!... I did not meant to pretend that I don’t know you and Yuto that time but Takaki-senpai had warned me to feign my memory modification for I ask him to spare me from it…” he sobbed and I can sense the tightness on our hug. I miss him of course! And I want to savor the embraced we had right now but I need an explanation to this!
“Yuri---”
“Senpai…” he cut in before I could continue so I gave him the privilege to talk first. “ I came here because Takaki-senpai had asked me to send this to you…” he told me while extending a book on me.
Oh! So this is the reason! And he even used Yuri! How I wish I could throw that book on the floor or toss it over the next house but Yuri is just in front of me and I can’t do that face to face. Takaki Yuya! You do really know on who are the people I feared to show my wickedness! “Thanks…” I said with my hands shivering to take the offer but I made a clasp on it and I’ll burn it later! Definitely later! “Want to have some cake and juice?...” I smiled and the boy followed my back to the kitchen.
“Senpai… aren’t you going to read that?...” he asked me with a very worried expression.
“I’ll read it later…” No! I’ll burn it later!
“Senpai… is Yuto here?...” he fumbled and I stopped from doing the juices.
“Yes…” I said and he cried. Poor Yuri, he looks so sad.
“I did not mean to panic at that time…”
I see. He’s trying to tell me something about his feelings.
“I was so shock then to know everything that’s why I called him a monster right away…” he rubbed his eyes and I handed my handkerchief across the table for him to have it. “Senpai… does Yuto had ever told you about us?...” he asked me and I nodded my head. “Was it really true that he asked Takaki-senpai to take all the memories I had with him?...”
Oh shit! I’m not good at this. What should I tell him? “Why don’t you just ask him yourself since you look ready to face him already…” Nice one Yamada Ryosuke! You’re playing safe!
“I guess so…” he sighed and I resumed my preparation.
“By the way Yu----” I was cut when the door of the house slammed to open and Yuto came in running with a very terrified look. “What’s wrong with you?...”
“Listen Yam… I don’t know if you want to hear this and if you---” he stopped when his sight caught the face of the other guy who is sitting opposite the area of my preparation. “Y-Y-Yuri?...” he stuttered and sweat starts pouring all over his head and neck. I understand him. He’s shock!
“Yuto!...” I butted in for I was cliff-hanged by his amended statement. “What was that slamming of the door all about?...”
“Yam… Takaki will be executed tonight because Yuki died yesterday and his treachery was found out by everyone…”
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A/N: Crap... This chapter is too long that i have to cut this into two parts since the LJ is saying POST TOO LARGE... so just continue reading the next part of this and save your comment to the next one also... just don't leave any comment in this page if possible... thanks!...
Knowing the truth is so painful that my heart is about to explode right now. I mean for so many years that we’ve been friends! I haven’t notice that he’s a voracious being who loves to drink the blood of human beings! But as for now and as of the moment, that is not the point of my argument. What I’m trying to say is that I was deceived, totally deceived by this guy. But why? Why did he lie to me?
“Because I don’t want you to hate me…” that’s an old tune already and I think I’ve heard that from Yuri at first then from Yuya and now from him. Him? It’s Yuto! Guys I’m talking to him right now but my head is just looking opposite to his position. “I’m sorry…”
Yeah right! You should be sorry! But I think I can’t forgive you for the rest of my life or maybe until tonight since I’m praying again to die after Yuki savages me before midnight. “Does Yuri know about this?...” I asked him but it is more like whispering because my weakness had reached my vocal cords already.
“Yes…” he answered back but there is something in his tone. It is like as if he was devastated, saddened, shock, terrified or hopeless. I can’t explain it clearly for I myself is also in the same tone as him. Have you ever experience that? A feeling which is too unexplainable because of too many emotions on it with a lot of fluctuation also? “And we break up…” he muffled and I turn my head to face him this time. Beads of tears are glimmering on his lower lids and I can see that Yuto is holding them back. But what’s the point of holding them if they want to fall that badly?
“Don’t hold it back…” I told him and he dumped his face over my chest. I was still furious at him of course that I want to push him or to punch him but the agonizing cry that he made cause me to change my mind. I can’t abandon him in this situation for he is still my friend and he is still the bestfriend I ever had. Remember the quote that says that a friend in need is a friend indeed? I guess I’m still the Ryosuke back then, even though the truth he just gave me is too much for my heart to handle. “It’s ok… just pour it out…” I told him as I force my right hand to reach his head and I’m glad that I was able to place it properly on his hair.
“I love him…” he cried while gasping his breath intermittently. “And I thought telling the truth will strengthen our relationship but he end up panicking that he even called me a monster right away…” he spurred out and I can sense the heaviness he has inside his chest. But it’s the truth Yuto! You’re a monster and I think I had this empathy when it comes to Yuri’s feelings because we are on the same shoes. “I have to get you out of here…” he mumbled as he faced me straightly and I got surprise! Who would not be?! I mean we are still ‘emoing’ over his lost but he intruded that saving-thing right away with total seriousness! So who would not be surprise with that?
“It’s impossible…” I said and he smiled at me even though the tears he had on his eyes are still pouring like crazy.
“This is the only way for me to pay my debt… so I have to get you out of here and protect you for the rest of your life…” he told me and I shivered in total coldness because he undress me into nakedness.
“What are you doing?...” I asked and he slashed my wrist without saying anything at first. Shit! Is he going to prey me also? Is this what I’ve got after comforting him like a friend a while ago? “Ou---” I was on the middle of my shout due to the pain on my wound but he cupped my mouth and all I can do is to cry. Why is he doing this to me?
“Sorry Yam… but we have to leave a trace of your blood in this mattress so that no one will find out that you had left this place after we escaped…” he whispered with his hand spreading my blood on the bed and it is so gruesome, terrifyingly gruesome! Because Yuki had never done that to me before! Remember that I told you about Yuki’s meticulousness? He’s a type of vampire who never stains a blood anywhere because every drop of it should be inside his throat. But wait! Yuto is not after my blood even though everyone in this house has an urge to bite me anytime, that’s why Yuya is always on guard inside or outside this room but where the hell is he right now? “Shit!... why do you smell this good…” he grumbled.
Damn! Yuto is after all a vampire because he lifted his bloody hand toward his lips to take a taste of it but he resisted it when he dashed himself to breath outside the window. For some fresh air maybe? Or to control the lust he has over my blood.
“Sorry…” he sighed as he took something from his pocket. It’s a bottle with no label on its body and he opened the lid while taking a walk back to my bloody bed. “To tell you the truth Yam… I befriend you because of your smell since I thought you’re my perfect match…” he said and I got my eyes dilated in shock.
WTF! So after all I was really deceived from the very start since all he wants was my blood and not my companionship! And what’s with this perfect match again?!
“But that thought of mine was wrong because a perfect match is someone who will bring those fangs of ours into growth…” he continued while pouring something into his palm.
Oh! I see! So that’s why I was not bitten by him throughout our friendship years because I’m not his perfect match. Great! So who is his perfect match?
“My fangs only evolved during the time you introduce Yuri to me…” he cited while handing these three globular things toward my mouth.
What?! So it’s Yuri? “Yuri is your perfect match?...” I asked him but he did not answer at all since the answer is so obvious already. So why ask Yamada Ryosuke! Crap! I’m such a dumb! Whack me! Ok, assuming that I had received that but still I can’t believe this! “What is your relationship to Takaki Yuya?...” I questioned because this was not explained since I woke up this morning but he dropped the things he had on hand inside my mouth in an instant. And I can’t resist on munching them because the flavor is so yummy! It’s vanilla people! And I love vanilla so much!
“We’ll wait for the reaction of those drugs before we leave here…” he told me while bandaging the cut he had made on my wrist and wrapping me with a cloak all over.
Eh?! Reaction of those drugs? Why didn’t he tell me that those candies are drugs?! “Yuto…” I rasped and he lifted me like a bride on his arms. “Don’t do this or else they’ll catch you…” I warned him and he smiled at me again. Screw your smile Yuto! Can’t you understand me! There are people inside this mansion and besides how will you send me out here without them capturing you!
“All your worries had been taken cared of… so don’t worry…” he uttered with full of confidence as he climbed the ridge of the window. And GOD! Is he going to jump from here down to the ground?! But isn’t this the fourth floor?
“Don’t do this Yuto…” I shivered for I fear to break a bone but damn him! He did it! And we landed swiftly on the ground with his eyes glowing in redness. And the next thing that happened, I fainted! Why did I pass out? Because I’m scared that my body was deoxygenize at that moment! So forgive me if I can’t give you the detail of Yuto’s heroic act.
I woke up the next day and found myself in a room with a fluid of dextrose attached on my left hand and a bag of blood attached on its port. Is this a hospital? That’s the first question I had in mind and someone had pulled a curtain on the side of the window that allows some light and fresh air to enter the room. “Nurse?...” I mumbled and that someone walked toward me.
“It’s me Yuto…”
Yuto? So does this mean I was saved? This is completely a different room from the one I had in that mansion and as far as I could remember, Yuto had brought me outside before I passed out. “Where am I?...” I asked and he pulled my upper torso to sit up on bed.
“In a place where no vampires could find you…” he told me while pushing a tray of food on my lap. “Eat… you need to regain your strength because I have something to show you next week…”
I obeyed for I trust him because he is the only one and the first one who saved me from that darkness, but how? How did he manage to save me? And how did we escape that dreadful place? “Yuto…” I called him and he looked back instantly. “How did you bring me here and who attached these things on my hand…” I asked while pointing at the bags of fluid hanging on the stand beside my bed.
“Let’s talk about that later… just eat first…” he instructed and I devour the foods right away. Oh! I miss this! Food and freedom! I guess my plea was heard by someone above and I can start my new life without that Takaki-guy!
“I’m finished!...” I yapped happily as I show my plates and glasses with no trace of anything left. “So can you tell me now?...” I asked and he blinked at me. “What’s wrong?...”
“It looks like as if you’re not in any trauma or in any weaknesses anymore…” he mumbled and I laughed at him.
“Of course!... food is my fuel and freedom is my motivation!... so now that I’m free!... I can go back to my family and live a life just like before!...” I chanted chirpily but Yuto is not joining my atmosphere. He is just staring at me blankly and I can’t handle to see that flat affect anymore. “Hey!... what’s wrong with you?!...” I exclaimed and he cleared his throat. “Yuto?...”
“Don’t forget that I’m a vampire Yam…” he said and I scowled at him.
“I know that!... but you are still my friend!... and I owe you my life!...” I smiled and I’m so glad that he smile back but it was only a second when he turned back into that annoying expression again. What the hell is wrong with him?! “Is there something bothering you?...”
“About your question…” he cleared his throat again and I can sense something undesirable about it. “It was Takaki...”
Takaki? Takaki what? “Who’s he?...” I asked and I believed I had that annoying expression pasted on my face already. That’s very good Yamada Ryosuke! Erase his existence in your memories and life so that he’ll never bother your feelings anymore. “Yuto?...”
“He’s your boyfriend… can’t you remember?...” he asked me with his forehead squinting in crookedness and I hate to see his face in that way. Can’t you get me Yuto! I don’t want to hear anything from him anymore! Because he’s dead! He’s dead for me forever! So stop saying his name to me ever again!
“I can’t…” I yawned as I stretched my arms on the air. “I feel sleepy… can we have that talk later when I wake up or maybe tomorrow…” I told him and I bet that he noticed my awkwardness this time because he lend his hand to put me back on my bed carefully. He’s very caring isn’t he? Well I guess vampires are really like that. You may find them romantic but for me, they are bunch of liars except for Yuto I guess since he’s my savior! They lie to take something from you. And they’ll tell you the truth once they had taken that something already. So where’s the mutual relationship there?
I fully recovered after eating a bounty of food and sleeping a bounty of time for a week and within those days I did not raised my questions ever again. Why? Because I don’t want to hear it, especially if Takaki Yuya is involve. He’s gone, totally gone in my life! And if he shows himself in front of me again? I’ll kill him even it means I have to suffer in jail forever. That’s how much I hate him right now! So don’t stop me because I was the one who suffered and not you!
“Where are we going today?...” I asked while fixing myself before the mirror.
“You’ll find it out later…” he said with his hand extending these three tablets on me. It’s the one I had taken before he saved me from that dreadful mansion. And I haven’t asked him about that yet.
“Am I going to take this again?...” I asked and he nods at me right away. “What’s these by the way?...”
“Drugs that could mask your scent…”
Oh! I see! So this may be one of the reasons why I had escaped that place with his help successfully. But what the heck is this? Why do I feel like I’m burning in fever a little and small patches of redness are forming on the skin of my arms and legs? And it’s itchy!!! “Yuto… I guess I’m allergic to this…” I complained and he patted me on the shoulder.
“That’s the reaction of the drug and that means you’re safe to go out…” he assured me but still it is so itchy!
“Why didn’t I felt this before?!...” I asked while scratching my legs and even my butt! Damn this itchiness!
“Because you pass out…” he grinned evilly and I glared at him. He’s really the Yuto I’ve known before. An evil ploy master! “Come on!... just bear with it so that you can get out from here…”
Yeah right. Ever since the day he brought me here, I was not able to step outside the door because I was still recuperating then. So now I guess I have to bear with this so that I can go outside and meet my family after he finished his business with me. “Fine!... let’s go…”
“Wait!...” he called out before he throws something over my head that covers me down to my waist. “Wear that robe because vampires are looking for you… so even we mask your scent they could still identify you by your face…”
Damn! So does this mean I’m not safe anywhere? Then how could I have the freedom I want? And how could I meet my family again?
“We’re here…” he said when the taxi went to stop. I looked outside the window and found a wall around five meters in height with endless width I think, because I can’t see the edge of it in either of the sides.
“What are we going to do with that wall?...” I asked and he chuckled at me as he pulled my head to turn on the other side and God! It’s a cemetery! A haunting place of all the scary things I could think and I feel like my hairs are standing on its place already. “What are we going to do with that cemetery?...”
“We are going to visit someone…” he asserted as he dragged me outside the taxi but I start resisting when I saw the gateway which is just a few more steps away from us. “Don’t be such a scaredy-cat!...” he sneered at me but still I don’t want to enter it!
“Yuto… you know exactly that I hate this place…” I cried like a kid as I stomp my feet before him. “I’ll accept a haunted house but not a cemetery…”
“It’s daylight Yam!... ghosts are only appearing at night time!...”
“How sure are you?!...” Damn! Why did I argue about that?
“Because---” he stopped with his eyes staring not on me but rather on my back and I wonder why, so I turned my head to see the cause of his dazed and Oh my~ This must be very painful for him to meet Yuri in this place with my family. With my family?! Wait, wait, wait, wait! Why they are here?! And what’s with those flowers on their hands?! Did someone just died? Was it Grandma or Grandpa? “Yam…” a call that awakens me from my focus. “Don’t react right away once we’re inside… and once you’ll see something detrimental…”
“What are you talking about?...”
“You’ll know everything later…” he said and I end up curious that I drag my own self to enter the cemetery even though I hate this place so much. It is so strange that my family hasn’t notice me even though they just pass before my sight or should I say before my face. And it is so strange for Yuri to act that calm even though Yuto is clearly visible to him. What exactly is going on? Was this because of my robe? Or Yuri is just pretending that he did not see Yuto at all? Or I become a lot thinner that my family and Yuri can’t recognize me anymore? “We’re here Yam… so calm down…”
Calm down? What should I? I looked at the tomb being cleaned by my parents and fuck! Why is my name written on the lapidary? And who is that guy on that picture?! That’s not me at all! I mean he’s too thin and I’m too fat! So why is his picture placed over the lapidary with Yamada Ryosuke written on it! “What the heck---” I was shut when Yuto palmed my mouth with his other arm resisting a struggle around my waist. I want to run to tell everyone that I’m here but I can’t move! I want to yell to tell everyone that I’m alive but I can’t speak! And I want to show myself to tell everyone that I’m Yamada Ryosuke but Yuto is stopping me! What should I do?!
“Nichan!... I bought your favorite vanilla ice cream!...” the stipulation made by the little girl who placed a gallon of ice cream beside the picture frame of the said tomb. It caught my attention that I stop my struggling with Yuto right away. I missed her voice, her face, her smile so as her naughtiness. She is the only one in my family who has this gut to fight with me over my favorite foods. And she’s the first one who ever called me a pig but still I love her. I love her so much! But why is she giving that ice cream to the guy who is not even at par to my fattiness! “You can have all of it and I’ll just buy another one for myself…” she continued while poking the glass on the picture frame. “I miss you so much…” she cried and I was moved, completely moved. Tears on my eyes went down that Yuto had to drag me a little further from them to be unnoticed. I can’t stop it! My heart is skipping a beat of misery and I can’t breathe regularly. I have no idea on what is going on but I can see with my very own eyes that my family can’t recognize me at all. Why? Why is this happening to me?
“Sorry Yam… Takaki modified the memories of all the people who know you…” Yuto said and I end up pushing him on the ground. I sit on top of him and start punching him endlessly while shedding my tears endlessly also. I can’t hold it back! I can’t stop! And I don’t know if I’m killing him already! Oh God! Help me on what to do?! Because my mind so as my heart are now in total darkness that hatred are flaming more and more.
“Why did he do this to me?!... Why he took my family away from me?!... Why he took everyone away from me?!... Why did he ruin my life?!... What did I do to deserve this?!...” I whined with my knuckles stabbing the chest of my bestfriend and I can see him wincing, groaning and even crying. I feel sorry for him of course for he’s not at fault here but I can’t resist my anger that it keeps on pushing me to use him as a scapegoat. “All I did is to love him before!... So why did he took all the people who loves me too?!...” I cried and this time I guess I stop due to exhaustion.
“Because he wanted to protect you and he wanted to protect all of those who love you too…” the groaning response I got from Yuto as he pushed himself to sit while comforting me in my misery. “Vampires are after you and that also mean that they’re after to the people who know you, so the only way for Takaki to protect them is to erased every bit of your existence on their lives…” he whispered with his palm patting my head. “Ryosuke… Takaki did this to save you…”
“Save me?!...” I yelled as I shove his hand away from my head. “This is not saving Yuto!... He killed me!... He killed my existence and that means I’m dead!...” I protested and he hugged me firmly with my face resting on his shoulder. “What should I do now?...” I mumbled as I claw my nails on his back. I’m burning! I’m burning in sadness! And I feel like I want to die again!
“Live on…” Yuto answered back and my tears shed to its fullest again. I cry and cry until I noticed the departure of my family. I stood up right away to see their faces once more for I don’t know if when is the next time for me to see them again.
“Father got thinner and mother seemed to be very tired…” I sobbed for I haven’t seen them in this condition before. I guess they had grieved too much that their physical condition are quite deteriorating. “I want to hug them…” I walked but Yuto pulled me back and I did not resist this time for I understand. I can’t throw myself at them because I am now a stranger in their eyes. And I’ll remain like that forever and ever.
“We need to leave… I’ll give the rest of the explanation later…” Yuto said but I shook my head. “Yam…”
“Give me few more minutes… I just want to eat something…” I said and he let his hook off my hand. I hurried my pace toward the tomb and took the gallon of ice cream that was placed on it. I open it and end up using my hand to scoop the cream toward my mouth. I gobbled it with my tears falling on it also. I know it’s nasty! But I want to eat it! And I want to have it since it is really for me! So just let me have this moment people because I want to have that love even it is just transferred by my sister on this food. “Why is this salty?...” I cried and Yuto squatted beside me.
“Because of your tears…”
Idiot! I know that! You don’t have to say it frankly! I just want to ask that question for my own self!
“Excuse me?...” the question that caused us to panic a little because the one who intruded is no other than Yuri. Oh no! What should I do about the ice cream? I had eaten half of it already and I can’t tell him that I ate this because I’m Ryosuke. “Who are you?...”
God! It breaks my heart and I guess Yuto’s heart is now splintered to nothingness. But why can’t he recognize Yuto if it was only my existence was modified. “Passerby…” I grumbled with my mouth full of cream and I guess I look very stupid on it.
“I see…” Yuri nodded as he took a sneak on the ice cream but I closed the lid right away. “Did you eat it?...” he asked and I can’t say no of course because it’s too obvious already.
“Yes…” I looked down and I heard a chuckle thus I looked up instantly. It’s Yuri! And he’s giggling just like the old times when I’m doing something that could make him laugh. But why?
“You can have it but share some of it to your friend…” he said with his hand pointing to Yuto and I can see the cry which are about to be drawn on the face of my bestfriend. “So see you then…” he smiled as he waived his hand on us before he left and that’s the only time I heard the cry of the guy who is just squatting beside me.
I guess I am not the only one who is in misery here because Yuto cried more than what I did a while ago. But I don’t understand! Why Yuri can’t recognize him? “What happened?...” I asked as I switch myself as the comforter this time.
“This is the debt I had with Takaki…” he sniffed as he wiped his nose with his sleeve. “I asked him to remove my existence to Yuri’s memory and in return I’ll save you from that dreadful place and protect you for the rest of your life…”
Ah. I see. But why?! “Why do you have to do that?... I mean---”
“Because I love him Yam!... And I don’t want him to have any trauma from me!... I asked Takaki to erase his memories so that he can smile again… so that he’ll be happy again… and so that he can find someone who will love him more than I do…” he whined with his fist pounding his own chest. And I think it is battered very badly already because I had pounded it also before. “It hurts!... I never knew that it hurt this much if the one you love can’t recognize you at all…”
Oh Heavenly God! Why do we have to suffer in this misery together? Are we really unlucky? Or we are just born to live in despair? I understand Yuto as much as he understands me but these understandings will keep us in the dark forever since we can’t do anything about it. So is there any reason for us to live on?
Yes there is. And that is our friendship.
“I’m going to buy something at the nearby store Yam!... so don’t go out if I’m not here yet!...” Yuto instructed me before he closed the door of our house. We are living together since then and I think it’s more than half a year already. And within those months I feel like I was being watch by someone that I almost feared to get out anymore.
Hey! Don’t think of me as a housewife because I and Yuto are sharing responsibilities! And besides we are just friends! If you’re asking about money then it’s easy because I’m doing an online shop and Yuto is the one delivering them! And guess what my products are… they’re cakes and pastries and I’m so happy because I feel like I’m a very successful chef even though I don’t have a proper schooling on it.
“What’s with this customer?... why does he keep on insisting to add a marshmallow on a cake and why does he keep on ordering almost everyday?...” I murmured with my fingers typing an order of approval on my laptop. But I can’t deny this customer because he’s paying twice the price of my cakes and he’s very nice. Yup! Nice to the point that he’s very considerate because I mixed up the order last time yet he paid thrice the price of it. I tried to return the money but he told me to keep it thus I can’t ignore his orders lately. “I guess I have to buy the marshmallows myself since Yuto is out…” I told myself as I pace my way toward the door but my hands went numb the moment I touch the knob. I guess I’m scared. Scared to get out since I have this experiences that someone is following me anywhere I go. “I can’t…” I mumbled and the doorbell rang. “Yuto…” I smiled and my hand twisted the knob at last, thinking that Yuto might had come back already but WTF! Why is he here with his face staring at me in familiarity?! Does he know me? Or he’s one of my customers only?
“Senpai…”
“Y-Y-Yuri!!!... y-y-you know me?!...” I stuttered with my finger pointing toward my face and the cute lad nods in response with a bit of tears on his eyes. What the hell?! I thought his memories were modified! Then why can he recognize me?
“Senpai!...” he cried as he surged a hug on me. “Sorry for lying!... I did not meant to pretend that I don’t know you and Yuto that time but Takaki-senpai had warned me to feign my memory modification for I ask him to spare me from it…” he sobbed and I can sense the tightness on our hug. I miss him of course! And I want to savor the embraced we had right now but I need an explanation to this!
“Yuri---”
“Senpai…” he cut in before I could continue so I gave him the privilege to talk first. “ I came here because Takaki-senpai had asked me to send this to you…” he told me while extending a book on me.
Oh! So this is the reason! And he even used Yuri! How I wish I could throw that book on the floor or toss it over the next house but Yuri is just in front of me and I can’t do that face to face. Takaki Yuya! You do really know on who are the people I feared to show my wickedness! “Thanks…” I said with my hands shivering to take the offer but I made a clasp on it and I’ll burn it later! Definitely later! “Want to have some cake and juice?...” I smiled and the boy followed my back to the kitchen.
“Senpai… aren’t you going to read that?...” he asked me with a very worried expression.
“I’ll read it later…” No! I’ll burn it later!
“Senpai… is Yuto here?...” he fumbled and I stopped from doing the juices.
“Yes…” I said and he cried. Poor Yuri, he looks so sad.
“I did not mean to panic at that time…”
I see. He’s trying to tell me something about his feelings.
“I was so shock then to know everything that’s why I called him a monster right away…” he rubbed his eyes and I handed my handkerchief across the table for him to have it. “Senpai… does Yuto had ever told you about us?...” he asked me and I nodded my head. “Was it really true that he asked Takaki-senpai to take all the memories I had with him?...”
Oh shit! I’m not good at this. What should I tell him? “Why don’t you just ask him yourself since you look ready to face him already…” Nice one Yamada Ryosuke! You’re playing safe!
“I guess so…” he sighed and I resumed my preparation.
“By the way Yu----” I was cut when the door of the house slammed to open and Yuto came in running with a very terrified look. “What’s wrong with you?...”
“Listen Yam… I don’t know if you want to hear this and if you---” he stopped when his sight caught the face of the other guy who is sitting opposite the area of my preparation. “Y-Y-Yuri?...” he stuttered and sweat starts pouring all over his head and neck. I understand him. He’s shock!
“Yuto!...” I butted in for I was cliff-hanged by his amended statement. “What was that slamming of the door all about?...”
“Yam… Takaki will be executed tonight because Yuki died yesterday and his treachery was found out by everyone…”
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A/N: Crap... This chapter is too long that i have to cut this into two parts since the LJ is saying POST TOO LARGE... so just continue reading the next part of this and save your comment to the next one also... just don't leave any comment in this page if possible... thanks!...