family
My father is Jewish, my mother isn't. My father brought me + sibs up to identify as Jewish even though no one in our family has practiced Judaism for three generations. A lot of the families we knew when I was a kid were similar to ours: Jewish dad, non-Jewish mom, didn't practice Judaism but still had cultural identity of Jewishness. Some observed the Jewish holidays, some didn't. We didn't, we did "regular" holidays because my mom grew up with those and my dad's family didn't observe the Jewish holidays except as a very casual and non-religious thing. But we were brought up to culturally identify as Jewish and taught about Jewish history + holidays even if we didn't keep them and made to read Tanakh (in English, no one in my dad's family who was still living when I was a kid spoke Hebrew.)
We never interacted with people who practiced Judaism, just non-Jewish families sometimes and mainly mixed families like ours. Then we moved out of state to an area with basically no Jewish people whatsoever. I sort of dug into what I was brought up to view as my cultural heritage a little deeper because I was feeling sort of alone with no one else around who shared that. Then I moved away for college, to an area that happens to have a lot of practicing Jews (mostly Orthodox.) And I learned that it's best not to tell them about my family, because as soon as they find out about my parentage they always feel the need to tell me that I don't count as Jewish and I need to remember that. Nicely, usually, but every damn time. Because the religious rule is that a Jewish mother is the only one who counts, because obviously a non-Jewish woman can't be trusted not to step out on her husband.
Now I carry my heritage in my face. Multiple random strangers have correctly guessed it just by looking at me. And multiple Orthodox have mistaken me for Orthodox when I happened to be dressed in a way that wasn't out of character for an unmarried Orthodox woman. I'm Jewish enough that I've gotten a bit of anti-Semetism tossed at me now and again. Not Jewish enough to be viewed by offspring of Jewish mothers as anything other than a jumped up half breed. For the first time in my life I'm surrounded by my father's people and I've never felt so unsure of who I was brought up to believe I was. I suppose conversion is a thing but damn if I'm not too offended about the assumption that my mother is an untrustworthy adulteress to go for that.
We never interacted with people who practiced Judaism, just non-Jewish families sometimes and mainly mixed families like ours. Then we moved out of state to an area with basically no Jewish people whatsoever. I sort of dug into what I was brought up to view as my cultural heritage a little deeper because I was feeling sort of alone with no one else around who shared that. Then I moved away for college, to an area that happens to have a lot of practicing Jews (mostly Orthodox.) And I learned that it's best not to tell them about my family, because as soon as they find out about my parentage they always feel the need to tell me that I don't count as Jewish and I need to remember that. Nicely, usually, but every damn time. Because the religious rule is that a Jewish mother is the only one who counts, because obviously a non-Jewish woman can't be trusted not to step out on her husband.
Now I carry my heritage in my face. Multiple random strangers have correctly guessed it just by looking at me. And multiple Orthodox have mistaken me for Orthodox when I happened to be dressed in a way that wasn't out of character for an unmarried Orthodox woman. I'm Jewish enough that I've gotten a bit of anti-Semetism tossed at me now and again. Not Jewish enough to be viewed by offspring of Jewish mothers as anything other than a jumped up half breed. For the first time in my life I'm surrounded by my father's people and I've never felt so unsure of who I was brought up to believe I was. I suppose conversion is a thing but damn if I'm not too offended about the assumption that my mother is an untrustworthy adulteress to go for that.