so uh
One of my roommates, who I had been friends with for a while before we moved in together, sort of unloaded a whole lot of crap on me a couple months ago, about how I was so annoying and she wanted me to move out and didn't want to be friends anymore. This was totally out of the blue, she hadn't said a word to me about any of it before although we'd agreed that if a problem came up between any of the people living in the house, we would discuss it before it became a big issue. We avoided each other for a couple weeks afterwards, and then started cautiously interacting again, and about a month ago she suddenly started acting friendly again for whatever reason.
But I just found out that before and after the blow-up, this girl was talking about me behind my back to some of our mutual friends (all of them people who now live in this house, though two of them did not live here at that time.) I don't know what she said to them, but yesterday the one guy who was living here and was present for that discussion said that the way she went off on me was nothing he'd expected, and the two who moved in more recently admitted that she'd been complaining about me and pretty much badmouthing me to them. One of the guys told me that when he moved in he didn't see any of the behaviors in me that she was evidently complaining about (and had gotten our other roommate to believe) and "I told then they were being idiots." The time he moved in is about the time she started being nice to me again, so I guess it was owing to his influence.
I don't really know how to feel right now. On the one hand, I'm mad that she was talking about me---I didn't talk about her, or even mention her behavior towards me except to one person immediately after it happened. I don't think I can trust her, and it sucks that we will still have to live together for at least seven more months because I can't afford to move back into dorms like I was planning. But on the other hand now I know that my other roommates actually care about me and are not going to just take her side automatically if she starts anything again. It's the first time in my life when I've ever had people who were willing to stand up for me even a little, and although I'm not happy about all that went down, it's really good to know that.
But I just found out that before and after the blow-up, this girl was talking about me behind my back to some of our mutual friends (all of them people who now live in this house, though two of them did not live here at that time.) I don't know what she said to them, but yesterday the one guy who was living here and was present for that discussion said that the way she went off on me was nothing he'd expected, and the two who moved in more recently admitted that she'd been complaining about me and pretty much badmouthing me to them. One of the guys told me that when he moved in he didn't see any of the behaviors in me that she was evidently complaining about (and had gotten our other roommate to believe) and "I told then they were being idiots." The time he moved in is about the time she started being nice to me again, so I guess it was owing to his influence.
I don't really know how to feel right now. On the one hand, I'm mad that she was talking about me---I didn't talk about her, or even mention her behavior towards me except to one person immediately after it happened. I don't think I can trust her, and it sucks that we will still have to live together for at least seven more months because I can't afford to move back into dorms like I was planning. But on the other hand now I know that my other roommates actually care about me and are not going to just take her side automatically if she starts anything again. It's the first time in my life when I've ever had people who were willing to stand up for me even a little, and although I'm not happy about all that went down, it's really good to know that.