[Team Two] Only in My Dreams: Chapter One
This is an original of mine. It's my first time posting a story that's an original of mine. This is only the first chapter or more of part of it, and I still have a long way to go but I am happy to share it with everyone and plan to continue to write more chapters and develop the story and characters more. I'd like to make it a story that people can enjoy. <3
aleena_mokoia you're up next.
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Touma rises to his feet with determination in his steps, his lips descend...onto nothing. A figment drifts in his imagination as he lets out a sigh. The bed felt empty, the air cold, and he could barely remember the last time he felt whole. Without Haru by his side, his life felt meaningless. Hollow. All he could do was repeat the same words over and over in his head. ‘Why? Why couldn’t it have been me? Why did you leave me behind?’ He could replay those words in his head, he could shout until his voice grew hoarse, but he would never get an answer. How could he? The one he longed for was no longer there. He didn’t just walk out the door. He didn’t break up with him...he was simply gone. As if he never existed.
Touma lets out a deep sigh. He knows that it will do him no good to stay cooped up. He has to get some fresh air and try to be around other people. He needs an escape from his thoughts and all of the memories that suffocate him at home. A glutton for punishment, he shifts his gaze to the end table and is suddenly looking at Haru again, so happy in the photo taken just 3 months ago. Such a goofy smile, Touma briefly smiles despite the pain the memory brings. And that hoodie, worn so much that the cat’s tail was peeling off. He glances at the ring on Haru’s finger, the ring Touma had given him for their first anniversary.
“Haru...I’m trying. I am. I promised you that I would continue living on for you. That I would smile. That...I would finish our story in your place but Haru...it’s hard.” Touma hangs his head, feeling tears tugging at the edge of his eyes.
Grabbing a tissue from the box on the table, Touma wipes away his tears. It didn't feel like a month had passed since Haru passed away. It was still fresh in his mind, even now. Their last day together in particular stuck out in his memories. At the time, he had thought they had more time so he wasn't prepared for what was to come.
The day had started out like any other. The leaves on the trees had begun to change color, the first sign of fall. It was Haru's favorite season. On the stand that was beside the hospital bed were photos of the two of them along with one of Haru and his sister, Sayuri. There were cards spread across from friends, family, and fans. In front of the window sill was fresh flowers. It had been a particularly rough day for Haru the day before so he had spent the night there.
Tears fall again as he recalls the memory. He could remember Haru taking his hand, brushing his thumb against his skin. Haru’s words to him then would always be engraved in his mind “These last 2 weeks have meant so much to me, Tou-Chan. I can’t think of anything else that I want more than this moment here, sitting with you in this boring hospital room. You’re all I need, all I ever needed. Could you promise me one thing? My one wish is that even when I'm gone that you won't give up. I don't you to be sad when you think of me. I hope that you can smile thinking of our memories. And...I'd like you to finish our story. I love you, Tou-Chan, thank you for giving me the best years of my life.” He could remember the warm smile that was on Haru's face at the time and wondering how he was able to stay so positive, even as he turned his head and passed away.
Letting out another sigh, Touma uses his weight to push down onto the bed to stand up, swaying as he did from being lightheaded. Lack of sleep and barely eating was taking a toll on him. He trudges towards his kitchen and opens the fridge, and stares at a bottle of water and an unmarked container of leftover curry. He reaches in, hand moving slightly toward the curry, but grabs the water instead. His eyes stay on the curry a second longer. How long has that been there? He almost jumps when he hears his phone ring, the bottle in his hand almost slipping out of his hands. He follows the ringtone, finding his phone on his nightstand, his heart sinking when he saw the name that was displayed across it. It was Haru’s sister. She had taken to checking in on him every day, without fail. Something even his own family didn’t. He waits until the ringing stops and, sure enough, he hears the telltale sound of a voicemail being left, and not long after, a text.
Sayuri: Touma-Kun, have you eaten? Did you get enough sleep? I made a bit too much food and was wondering if I could stop over to drop off the leftovers. I know that you don’t want to talk. I know you feel like you have to take this on alone, but I want you to know that I am here whenever you need me. Anytime you need me.
Touma throws the phone on the couch and takes a drink of water. “You and Haru were always worried about others. Never thinking of yourselves first. I don’t know what you two saw in a loser like me.” He stops and looks at this phone. Despite his bitter words, he cherished the messages he got. It got him through the day. It reminded him that he still had someone out there that was thinking of him. But he couldn’t face her. Not yet. She reminded him too much of Haru.
aleena_mokoia you're up next.
=====
Touma rises to his feet with determination in his steps, his lips descend...onto nothing. A figment drifts in his imagination as he lets out a sigh. The bed felt empty, the air cold, and he could barely remember the last time he felt whole. Without Haru by his side, his life felt meaningless. Hollow. All he could do was repeat the same words over and over in his head. ‘Why? Why couldn’t it have been me? Why did you leave me behind?’ He could replay those words in his head, he could shout until his voice grew hoarse, but he would never get an answer. How could he? The one he longed for was no longer there. He didn’t just walk out the door. He didn’t break up with him...he was simply gone. As if he never existed.
Touma lets out a deep sigh. He knows that it will do him no good to stay cooped up. He has to get some fresh air and try to be around other people. He needs an escape from his thoughts and all of the memories that suffocate him at home. A glutton for punishment, he shifts his gaze to the end table and is suddenly looking at Haru again, so happy in the photo taken just 3 months ago. Such a goofy smile, Touma briefly smiles despite the pain the memory brings. And that hoodie, worn so much that the cat’s tail was peeling off. He glances at the ring on Haru’s finger, the ring Touma had given him for their first anniversary.
“Haru...I’m trying. I am. I promised you that I would continue living on for you. That I would smile. That...I would finish our story in your place but Haru...it’s hard.” Touma hangs his head, feeling tears tugging at the edge of his eyes.
Grabbing a tissue from the box on the table, Touma wipes away his tears. It didn't feel like a month had passed since Haru passed away. It was still fresh in his mind, even now. Their last day together in particular stuck out in his memories. At the time, he had thought they had more time so he wasn't prepared for what was to come.
The day had started out like any other. The leaves on the trees had begun to change color, the first sign of fall. It was Haru's favorite season. On the stand that was beside the hospital bed were photos of the two of them along with one of Haru and his sister, Sayuri. There were cards spread across from friends, family, and fans. In front of the window sill was fresh flowers. It had been a particularly rough day for Haru the day before so he had spent the night there.
Tears fall again as he recalls the memory. He could remember Haru taking his hand, brushing his thumb against his skin. Haru’s words to him then would always be engraved in his mind “These last 2 weeks have meant so much to me, Tou-Chan. I can’t think of anything else that I want more than this moment here, sitting with you in this boring hospital room. You’re all I need, all I ever needed. Could you promise me one thing? My one wish is that even when I'm gone that you won't give up. I don't you to be sad when you think of me. I hope that you can smile thinking of our memories. And...I'd like you to finish our story. I love you, Tou-Chan, thank you for giving me the best years of my life.” He could remember the warm smile that was on Haru's face at the time and wondering how he was able to stay so positive, even as he turned his head and passed away.
Letting out another sigh, Touma uses his weight to push down onto the bed to stand up, swaying as he did from being lightheaded. Lack of sleep and barely eating was taking a toll on him. He trudges towards his kitchen and opens the fridge, and stares at a bottle of water and an unmarked container of leftover curry. He reaches in, hand moving slightly toward the curry, but grabs the water instead. His eyes stay on the curry a second longer. How long has that been there? He almost jumps when he hears his phone ring, the bottle in his hand almost slipping out of his hands. He follows the ringtone, finding his phone on his nightstand, his heart sinking when he saw the name that was displayed across it. It was Haru’s sister. She had taken to checking in on him every day, without fail. Something even his own family didn’t. He waits until the ringing stops and, sure enough, he hears the telltale sound of a voicemail being left, and not long after, a text.
Sayuri: Touma-Kun, have you eaten? Did you get enough sleep? I made a bit too much food and was wondering if I could stop over to drop off the leftovers. I know that you don’t want to talk. I know you feel like you have to take this on alone, but I want you to know that I am here whenever you need me. Anytime you need me.
Touma throws the phone on the couch and takes a drink of water. “You and Haru were always worried about others. Never thinking of yourselves first. I don’t know what you two saw in a loser like me.” He stops and looks at this phone. Despite his bitter words, he cherished the messages he got. It got him through the day. It reminded him that he still had someone out there that was thinking of him. But he couldn’t face her. Not yet. She reminded him too much of Haru.