Apr 02, 2004 01:39
if you can hear me this is my penultimate. i keep thinking it's the last straw but it's not; it never will be. a strange hunger came over me and i felt and insatiable desire. a certain narcissism within me made me wonder why but remembrances of truth slipped in and made more sense. totally deprived. barely alive. i couldn't help myself to save my life. a star struck wand is my present dinner along with the hearts and souls of others. i'm my own version of sean bateman, a proverbial vampire only the sexiness is lost in my girlish figure. a new home awaits with little patience or is it i who wait for it? hunger again. a dire need to talk to someone. i could call a number of someones but a futile presence won't suit this time. need need need. when do i help? when can i help? i have a number of assets but my most famous is running low. i no longer feel that way that i always have about anything. i retract that. i really do. everything is the same it has always been, just with different people. dan is a savior. understanding is understood. but fuck the rest: the fucking hobos, the groupies, the scenesters, the religious bullshitters, the conservatives, the liberals, the rich fucking sorority girls, the intellectuals, the annoying ass wet twins, the pizza chick, anyone who can't get the fucking balls to talk to me, anyone who i can't get the fucking balls to talk to, her family and their shitty ass pictures, death-hawk santa, the baseball players, the system that allows these baseball players to make more money than i can ever dream, the culturally inept, the cultured, the dude bros, kristen, wanoka, shasta, michelle, caithrin, allison, andrea, ariel, shea, carolyn, elise, deidre, carly, amber, jessica, meghan, ashley, stacy, emily (not the one you're thinking of), katie, michelle, gwen, heather, the nasty ass heather, the other amber, trinidad, rachel, stormy, sandi, stephanie, whitney, that chick at bryant's show, the other jessica, the other katie, the other rachel, samantha, lauren, anyone who i missed, fuck this shitty ass school, fuck everyone in it, i'm tired of you. you have been dismissed. i know exactly how it feels, so fuck off.