(no subject)
thats how i feel, but couldn't put into words.
well, felt. a lot recently.
then i feel stupid and lazy because she's got SO much more on her plate than i do. i could juggle more...i think, but i dont want to. i dont like seeing my friends exhausted bitchy, and miserable after staying up all night doing AP class homework. i like my simple life. i think my excuse for not taking on more work is... if i have to work THAT hard now, and it gets even harder when i'm and adult... is that really the live i want to live?
My parents never worked all that hard in high school. Just average students. But things still worked out for them the way they’d hoped. and got everything that was important to them accomplished. i just can't see all of this actually deciding our future. my future. with my okay/semi-good grades i will get into college. not an IV League one or UCLA or anything like that, but I’ll get in somewhere I really like. Some place that fits me. Here, scotts [my brother] is a perfect example. He didn't do very well in high school, and he didn’t apply to schools out of his reach, but he still made it into a great school. A party school, yes. But he works really hard and gets everything he can out of it. it’ll still take him where he wants to go in life. he wants to be a lawyer. and I know he will be. A good one, at that.
i want to be a teacher. i dont need some high paying job in a corporate office.
but then again... sometimes i think i'm just telling myself that because i'm lazy and THINK i'm incapable of an extraordinary future. But would that be something I’d want even if I had the option? … i wish i had something that would guide me. Like when people are like “I’ve wanted to be a tennis player my entire life.” And then that’s what they work on for years and become. I have nothing like that. At least nothing I could obtain, so I rule it out.
Round and round we go.
baby steps?
-do all homework.
-study for test.
-TRY for best grades possible
(pave the way… open doors)
but more importantly
-BE HAPPY.
none of its worth it if your unhappy.
So that brings me to this question that I’d like who ever reads this to answer. Please.
(you dont really have to reply if you dont want to, [but feel free!].. just think about it.)
what do you want to do with your life? what choices are you making today to make that happen?
is what you want within your reach?
Or are you the type of person that takes the easy road and dreams about have it all?
do you want to be your parents? Why or why not?
do you just think about whats going on around you, or do you think about the big picture? And why?
what i tend to forget, and i KNOW others do to is that ... THIS is your life. now. today.
its really all about the journey.
So how's the journey going for you? good? badly? okay? boring?
If it was one of the last 3, then what are you going to do about it to make it better? Life isn’t going to just happen to you. You need to make it happen. So go. Now. Make it happen.