these summer nights...
"I went to a nightclub... I bought a rum and coke and drank it quickly (always thirsty) until my own eyes felt like Christmas lights. My dance partners were David and Venus de Milo. Although he was not the most captivating conversationalist or dynamic dancer, he was pleasing to look at. She was missing many body parts, but also quite lovely. At least I could pretend I had companions.
I came home and went to bed realizing how long it had been since I had been touched by anyone. I sucked my arms to help myself fall asleep. The next day I had to hide the bruises...
Even though I was ravenous all the time I controlled my appetite most of the day. Then, late at night, after a few drinks, when the clubs closed, I went to all-night fast food stands and ate burritos in my car in big gulps, squishing the beans and cheese out of the flour tortilla. My car smelled like grease and cigarettes that summer, and the steering wheel shone from my handprints. The next morning, disgusted, I wiped and aired out my car and vowed not to eat all day. This lasted until about two A.M. Sometimes instead of burritos I ate powdered sugar donuts with colored sprinkles. The powdered sugar cut and stung my mouth. The sprinkles reminded me of the lights of the city, shiny and sugary and fake and promosing and nothing. That summer tasted like a powdered sugar donut stinging my mouth."
I came home and went to bed realizing how long it had been since I had been touched by anyone. I sucked my arms to help myself fall asleep. The next day I had to hide the bruises...
Even though I was ravenous all the time I controlled my appetite most of the day. Then, late at night, after a few drinks, when the clubs closed, I went to all-night fast food stands and ate burritos in my car in big gulps, squishing the beans and cheese out of the flour tortilla. My car smelled like grease and cigarettes that summer, and the steering wheel shone from my handprints. The next morning, disgusted, I wiped and aired out my car and vowed not to eat all day. This lasted until about two A.M. Sometimes instead of burritos I ate powdered sugar donuts with colored sprinkles. The powdered sugar cut and stung my mouth. The sprinkles reminded me of the lights of the city, shiny and sugary and fake and promosing and nothing. That summer tasted like a powdered sugar donut stinging my mouth."