(no subject)
heeey. soo um i decided im going to start using my live journal again cuz i like it better than xanga and i havent had xanga in a while now. well lately nothing has been going on really at all. last night i did nothing, kind of got ditched in a way if you understand "groups" at my school and how they do everything together. then i woke up, mowed the lawn, and had to get rushed to go to my grandma and grandpa's for dinner and didnt get back til like 8:30. so im not doing anything tonight either. i hate staying home on the weekends it makes me so depressed. this weekend is also very depressing in many other ways. i cant stand some people at school right now acting soo depressed just because theres these two guys that like her and she cant choose between the two. well wow cute for you at least guys like you. she calls me last night to talk about herself for like 2 hours the whole time im like trying to think of excuses to get off the phone with her lmao.. yeah shes pretty fun i guess..the whole "depressed" act was all for attention too. i cant stand people who think everyone in the world should feel sorry for them so act all depressed to achieve that..i mean im not saying anyones lives are perfect because i think everyone has something bad going on in their lives. i am so sick of bitches and fake people and acting stupid..its like school is almost driving me insane. and for some reason i cant stop thinking about father daughter this weekend and who im going to take. i dont want to take my uncle whom i took last time because i basically didnt see him until the very end when i asked him if he wanted to dance with me for the first time while every other girl there was dancing with their real dads the whole time and thinking nothing of it. to them its just a time to get dressed up and buy a dress and have fun with their friends but it means so much more to me. i realy dont think im going to go this year. sometimes i wish i could die. not in a depressed suicidal way, but like just to be in heaven. and i would want everyone else i love in heaven too. wouldnt that be perfect? i would be with everyone i love and everything around us would be perfect. no worrying no crying no stress no hate no war no just fussing over all the stupid things people care about in the world. thats why lately when i want to do something i thing what the hell, im gonna die anyway who cares do it. i can not wait until the day when i get to go to heaven and be with my family and just be happy. it would be perfect