Identity Crisis
There's this idea that as you approach the theoretical middle of your life you might reflect on things that have been, make some changes, buy a Porsche. I certainly can't afford a Porsche and if I had the equivalent amount of money to spend on something that excessive, I'd be traveling. Chance I'd not come back, either.
The thing with mid-life crises is that you have to make a broad assumption on how long you'd live. For me, right now, that would be 80. Good heavens, that's another ten presidential elections. No thanks! I digress - in that I may not live until I'm 80, but I certainly think it should be an option. For the last five years I've done pretty much nothing but obsess over that (insert foul language here) business. I have learned some things along the way, valuable lessons that may help me in my next career - but none of it adds up to enough to tip the scale in a positive direction. The negatives of letting the business run me far outstrip the positives.
So, where do I go from here? I don't exactly have a plan for the next phase of my life, but it's time to start putting some of those pieces into play. There is some 'stream-of-consciousness' music out right now that reminds me of late 2003 (I ended up failing out of the Coast Guard) and the winter of '09/'10 (when I almost killed myself at a bridge in Bellevue, Washington). Hold up now, I'm not in that kind of state, but there are similarities. Something important in my life was taken from me against my will in both instances, but this time the choice could very well be mine. There are some headwinds with the business that may force me into a decision sooner rather than later, but the decision is still likely to be mine.
Can I move into my 40's and start over? Again? Do I fall back to things that are familiar to me, or do I chart a new path? As I was going through my previous life-altering experiences I was convinced that I wouldn't make it through. I don't feel that way now. I have an expansive list of things I want to accomplish in life and I don't think that can be done here, or now. So, where do I go from here? Wednesday, I guess... but there are major changes on the horizon. Stay tuned.
The thing with mid-life crises is that you have to make a broad assumption on how long you'd live. For me, right now, that would be 80. Good heavens, that's another ten presidential elections. No thanks! I digress - in that I may not live until I'm 80, but I certainly think it should be an option. For the last five years I've done pretty much nothing but obsess over that (insert foul language here) business. I have learned some things along the way, valuable lessons that may help me in my next career - but none of it adds up to enough to tip the scale in a positive direction. The negatives of letting the business run me far outstrip the positives.
So, where do I go from here? I don't exactly have a plan for the next phase of my life, but it's time to start putting some of those pieces into play. There is some 'stream-of-consciousness' music out right now that reminds me of late 2003 (I ended up failing out of the Coast Guard) and the winter of '09/'10 (when I almost killed myself at a bridge in Bellevue, Washington). Hold up now, I'm not in that kind of state, but there are similarities. Something important in my life was taken from me against my will in both instances, but this time the choice could very well be mine. There are some headwinds with the business that may force me into a decision sooner rather than later, but the decision is still likely to be mine.
Can I move into my 40's and start over? Again? Do I fall back to things that are familiar to me, or do I chart a new path? As I was going through my previous life-altering experiences I was convinced that I wouldn't make it through. I don't feel that way now. I have an expansive list of things I want to accomplish in life and I don't think that can be done here, or now. So, where do I go from here? Wednesday, I guess... but there are major changes on the horizon. Stay tuned.