Men are SOO from Mars

[highonjc214]

Justin's been acting weird so much lately. It's kind of scaring the snot outta me. It's like he NEVER wants to make an effort to see me or talk to me. He's kinda like ignoring me and stuff. He can go over to Nick's & Mindi's all the time, or to his grandparents house, but he never wants to come and see me. I don't think that there's any infidelity going on... but there just might be some kind of boredom of the relationship and justin probably sees it as a "chore" now instead of doing something that he wants. I wonder if there could be any kind of counseling for us? I wonder if he'd even take it up. that's the thing. I know that a church life doesnt concern him one bit. he doesn't even really care that he doesnt ever go unless i'm there. It's like maybe i might have pushed him away or something?? Because i thought that since we are in such a deep relationship that i could express my feelings towards him and he'd want to do the same?? I guess not, huh? Also it's like i don't want him to come to church with me. cuz when i do bring him he like sends off this negative vibe and it gets me offa the subject about Jesus and makes me focus on him and what he's thinking or how he's feeling. I don't know what to do anymore. He doesn't ever read ANY of my devos. he has stuff from back in may for cryin out loud. its like he doesnt even care.
well i'm gonna go. I'm not feeling too good. this stupid birth control patch and stress dont mix very well. i start thinking about things then i like wanna puke. then i think of taco bell. cuz last time (a bad time) when i had thrown up from anxiety, i had taco bell that night. it was awful. Now it's happening again. Maybe it wasnt meant to be... I'm scared that it's not. I feel like a whore if it isn't. ::sigh:: too many thoughts runnin thru my head and not fast enough to type them all down. I'm goin. Bye