errmm yeah
I feel distressed right now. I don't even know if I used that word right. Yeah this journal thing is pretty much just for me to vent shit and stuff so I'm glad that no one reads this. I feel scared and volnaruble right now. I feel like I'm loosing everything. I'm loosing my friends, my family, my control, my life...I don't know. It feels like I'm not going anywhere and I stuck in a fucking rut forever. DOOM and GLOOM. Shit I hate when I start to feel like this.......I need to cuddle something/someone....I'm getting mad at myself and how I get scared of commitment. I'm starting to push Hersh away which I dont want to but then I do because I don't want to have a "relationship" yet and I think he does....I'm just confused...I hope I don't push him away because he means a lot to me. But I guess any boy who would tell me they love I would start to get feelings for. Damn this. Damn that. FUCK! Venting time is over. I'm going to not sleep because that has left my agenda for about 2 weeks now. DAMNIT! I've even lost sleep too. I'm going to go sit in the dark with The Postal Service blaring in my ears. Bye.