today was a unique day...
I went to my old church today. it was an interesting experience. I miss it. Well, i miss the "church" i don't miss how I feel when i go. how i don't belong because i don't fit in. Other than that i liked it. People remembered me it was cool. I only briefly saw jacob. he is amazing and i love him. even though i haven't talked to him since middle school. I saw his mom also and she didn't reconize me it made me sad. I have had a crush on this boy since kindergarten and still kinda do. I wish we were at least friends. I wonder if he ever thinks about me? It si so bad how i still like him alot. I mean i have a boyfriend and i still like him as much as i ever have. but the bad thing is i haven't even talked to him since middle school and we weren't even best friends or anything.....that whole sunject is embarrising, and i prolly shouldn't have said anything about it. I have never told anyone exactly about that. even though it is really noting at all even if i wish it was something. like one of theose seceret things you hold on to even thouh you have really moved on...anyone know how i feel? prolly not i am the only loser who does stuff like that.
I got home at 1:30 and i got a call from i think it was lizzie on shayna's phone. I had forgotten about the FCA planning meeting thing. i am glad for it becasue it let me say some things i have wanted to say along time ago but was to shy too. I mean i felt weird because everyone was talking baout how it used to be and stuff and i didn't know how it used to be and i felt that i wasn't good enough like my opinion didn't matter. but i just feel that it is for the students. Obviously...and that like if we took more charge of it it would be better. Like when we did the hoedown we were proud of what we've done and wanted everyone to attend and stuff.well thats not really the point. i just agree that people need to feel needeed...i believe that with all that i am and i just feel that people grow spiritually when they are serving and stuff. If we spread out the job that Mrs Walker did to alot o poeple than for one, not ove person would be bogged down with it and two, the students would feel that they were worth something. I alos agree that we should not be as cliquey(sp) as we are. no one should feel left out. I love FCA and i don't know anyone who dosent' love it...but it is getting so much better. I n the upcoming weeks or months or whatever iit will be getting better. After weekend of Champions it will be cool because we will all be on such a high that will be xcitng. i haven't had a church camp high in a long time...i miss it
i don't really have anyhitng else significant to say. all i have to say is if it wasn't for shyana and i becoming friends during chemistry i don't know where i personally would be . i wish i would have such an impact on someoneelses life as others have had on me. I would hate to feel i go about my life everyday and not mean a single thing to anyone.
I got home at 1:30 and i got a call from i think it was lizzie on shayna's phone. I had forgotten about the FCA planning meeting thing. i am glad for it becasue it let me say some things i have wanted to say along time ago but was to shy too. I mean i felt weird because everyone was talking baout how it used to be and stuff and i didn't know how it used to be and i felt that i wasn't good enough like my opinion didn't matter. but i just feel that it is for the students. Obviously...and that like if we took more charge of it it would be better. Like when we did the hoedown we were proud of what we've done and wanted everyone to attend and stuff.well thats not really the point. i just agree that people need to feel needeed...i believe that with all that i am and i just feel that people grow spiritually when they are serving and stuff. If we spread out the job that Mrs Walker did to alot o poeple than for one, not ove person would be bogged down with it and two, the students would feel that they were worth something. I alos agree that we should not be as cliquey(sp) as we are. no one should feel left out. I love FCA and i don't know anyone who dosent' love it...but it is getting so much better. I n the upcoming weeks or months or whatever iit will be getting better. After weekend of Champions it will be cool because we will all be on such a high that will be xcitng. i haven't had a church camp high in a long time...i miss it
i don't really have anyhitng else significant to say. all i have to say is if it wasn't for shyana and i becoming friends during chemistry i don't know where i personally would be . i wish i would have such an impact on someoneelses life as others have had on me. I would hate to feel i go about my life everyday and not mean a single thing to anyone.