001

[higherfunctions]

[The writing is cramped and spiky, written with such force that the quill blotted on numerous viciously-poked full stops. Here be swirls and scribbles and various doodles; one seems to be some kind of splatter pattern, one is an abstract spiral, and the other is a frog. Well. No. Half a frog. ...Ew.]

Question: is there any sight more disgusting than

Comments

[lovelycassie]

Oh wow, totally. The food can be so beautiful, but you mustn't eat it. And with all the people there, it's really too much.

[higherfunctions]

Far too much. [That's some pretty scratched underlining there. He's in a mood.] They don't ever stop talking or rustling or- Merlin help us- chewing. [Because breakfast is never time for chewing.] It's revolting.

[lovelycassie]

You don't have to go to the great hall, you know? During meals, I often go to a courtyard, or count the stairs on a staircase.

[higherfunctions]

No, though I try to move as little as possible in the mornings.

[lovelycassie]

Oh wow. Is it because you're hungover?

[higherfunctions]

What? No. Why would I be hungover? No. It's because I don't like mornings.

What's the average?

[lovelycassie]

Of what? Oh wow, you mean stairs? I can't really keep track, with the trick steps and everything, but maybe 14? Or, 36? Or maybe more like 23 and a quarter.

[higherfunctions]

What's 'wow' about it, exactly?

36 is the most likely average, based on an admittedly incomplete sample. I'm almost sure I haven't walked up all the staircases yet, after all. [He's kind of interested, in a vague way. He counts steps too, out of instinctive habit.]

[lovelycassie]

[Cassie just says 'wow' a lot. She's never addressed it in canon, so she's just going to be semi-oblivious to the fact that she overuses it.]

What do you mean? I don't know what you're talking about.

Oh, but that sounds much more accurate, really. Sometimes I skip steps, or stand on them for awhile, so I lose track. It's really nothing scientific.

[higherfunctions]

I don't like doing things without logical reasoning behind them. Though I count them automatically. Some people can walk up the same staircase once a day for seven years of their life and not know how many steps it has.

[lovelycassie]

Wow, well, if you really want to take all the fun out of it.

[higherfunctions]

What's fun about doing things without logic? It's just inefficient.

[lovelycassie]

Everything! Things don't have to be so heavy all the time.

[higherfunctions]

It's not heavy, it just makes more sense.