TM 229: Getting Drunk
TM 229 -- If you could get anyone drunk, who would it be and what would you do?
If I could get drunk with anyone right now, it would, of course, be my close friend and partner in crime and heroics, Mr. Guy Gardner. Drinking with Guy would be the wonderful experience that it always is, as he regaled everyone within earshot of the sophisticated insights into political philosophy that he had gleaned from whatever they were yelling about on cable news that week. As the night went on, he would share valuable tips about dress and grooming -- hair care being a particular interest of his -- and at the end of the evening, the entire bar would be treated to a second-by-second replay of the time he beat up Batman. It would be the highlight of my week.
That was a joke. I'm famous for making them.
That was another joke. I'll quit while I'm ahead.
My serious-slash-beauty pageant answer to the question is both predictable and true. If I had the opportunity to have a drink with anyone, it would be my father, Martin "Bishop" Jordan. When he died -- when the plane he was test-piloting failed -- I was just a kid. I never got the chance to do what I guess all guys want. Sit down with Dad, split a pitcher of beer, and let him tell me stories. The ones I didn't get to hear when I was a kid, because I was a kid. And yeah, maybe the other half, too. The whole, 'This is what I've made of my life, I hope you approve of it' part. But to be honest, I'm pretty much past the point of looking for other people's approval. Maybe even his.
So that's my joke answer, and my beauty pageant answer.
My 'who I'm actually drinking with this weekend' answer is Ollie Queen. Because the Padres are playing in Star City, and Ollie's getting me tickets in the mayor's box, even if he doesn't actually know this yet.
If I could get drunk with anyone right now, it would, of course, be my close friend and partner in crime and heroics, Mr. Guy Gardner. Drinking with Guy would be the wonderful experience that it always is, as he regaled everyone within earshot of the sophisticated insights into political philosophy that he had gleaned from whatever they were yelling about on cable news that week. As the night went on, he would share valuable tips about dress and grooming -- hair care being a particular interest of his -- and at the end of the evening, the entire bar would be treated to a second-by-second replay of the time he beat up Batman. It would be the highlight of my week.
That was a joke. I'm famous for making them.
That was another joke. I'll quit while I'm ahead.
My serious-slash-beauty pageant answer to the question is both predictable and true. If I had the opportunity to have a drink with anyone, it would be my father, Martin "Bishop" Jordan. When he died -- when the plane he was test-piloting failed -- I was just a kid. I never got the chance to do what I guess all guys want. Sit down with Dad, split a pitcher of beer, and let him tell me stories. The ones I didn't get to hear when I was a kid, because I was a kid. And yeah, maybe the other half, too. The whole, 'This is what I've made of my life, I hope you approve of it' part. But to be honest, I'm pretty much past the point of looking for other people's approval. Maybe even his.
So that's my joke answer, and my beauty pageant answer.
My 'who I'm actually drinking with this weekend' answer is Ollie Queen. Because the Padres are playing in Star City, and Ollie's getting me tickets in the mayor's box, even if he doesn't actually know this yet.