fic: Wreckage

[high_flyer87]

Title: Wreckage
Fandom: Supernatural
Characters/Pairing: Dean, fallen!Cas, Chuck
Rating: R
Spoilers: 5.04
Warning: 2014!verse, angst, slight non-con advances, language, drug abuse
Length: 2,654
Summary: When Castiel fell, he did it slowly, and as gracefully as any man who ever fell into insanity did.
Disclaimer: I own nothing
A/N: This is definitely not the

Comments

[laydieofsorrows]

Wow I loved this. I've read so many 2014!fics but this one really hit the spot. I love how well you portrayed Cas as the future fallen angel.

[high_flyer87]

Thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed it :)

[sakura_no_mi]

Eeee! You posted it! You have no idea how thrilled I was that you let me beta this for you. I hope me and my red font and highlighting haven't traumatized you for life.

Now I will take off my beta hat and proceed to squee about everything that is fantastic about this fic:

The way you focus in on the descriptions of little details that have significance to the story. That's always been one of the things I love about your writing -- it really is all in the details. Every one of your descriptions of Cas is so vivid. It's like... you're not just telling us how f'ed up he is, you're describing his appearance and mannerisms and mental state and letting us make the connections ourselves.

And yes, I do believe I commented on this line when I first read it, but I still freaking love it and think it is too precious for this world: As he stormed out the front door, the sound of the screen door slammed behind him like the death rattle of the last shred of hope he had left.

And this:

Dean couldn’t hold back the choked sob that forced its way

[high_flyer87]

Hee, I love you and your red pen! *smush*

And I'm SO glad you liked what I added in. That new paragraph at the end is actually some of what I'd started writing for the third part of the fic, but since I ended up not going in that direction, and I sort of loved what I'd written, I decided to throw them in here.

This is as broken as you'll ever see these guys, from me. Of course, I don't think they can really get much more broken than this, but it was just so damn heartbreaking to put together I don't think I can do it again. I'm glad my head!canon fit together so nicely with the goods though :)

[aliassmith]

God, I remember watching "99 Problems", seeing Dean throw Cas the aspirin and telling him to take the whole bottle, and I'm sitting there thinking "DO YOU NOT REMEMBER 2014 AT ALL?!"

This whole fic was like reliving that moment for me-- every niggling thought that maybe Dean was a little too reliant on the quick fix when it came to Cas, that his whole "if I can't make it better I'll just make it disappear" attitude is what's gonna hurt Cas the most when it matters-- The possibility of truth in all this is what really gets me.

Beautifully handled, and just... heartbreaking all over.

[high_flyer87]

Thanks, bb! I'm SO glad you liked it.

It seems sort of contradictory to think that Dean could raise Sam so well, but could fuck up so completely when "raising" Cas. But it's an interesting theory. I mean, I think Dean would see a lot of himself in human!Cas, and wouldn't know how to handle that, so he'd just try and cover it up.

This will probably be the only 2014 fic I write. That world is just too heartbreaking. But I'm glad to hear I did good :)

[babykid528]

I don't have words. How do I not have words. I mean, even at my most flaily I have some words usually, but I feel so incoherent in the wake of this piece of loveliness that I can't give you real words. So you get ramblings of love and maybe they will make some sense. <3

I don't know who is breaking my heart more in this: Cas or Dean. Or Chuck even. God. I love Chuck!! But OMG, there's a reason I am fixated on Cas falling and what it would mean for him and omg this is so heartbreaking and terrible and I mean that in a very good way. It hurts like crazy and it's not just the way you show Cas falling apart, but the way his Grace dims, like a dying light glow, in my mind as I picture him as the story progresses, until it's almost completely snuffed out and he's this shadowed, shell of a once-angel. helpless. His helplessness is what's getting me most, I think. He doesn't know how to cope with this or his guilt over it and he just wants to fix things any way he can, but he's making them worse

[high_flyer87]

OMG YOU! *hugs*

This might be one of the most epic things I've written. And Lord knows I'll never do it again. I'm actually really pleased with how this turned out, but God it was hard to write. I mean, I really fucked Cas up, bad. That was hard to do.

I can't tell you how happy your comment makes me. Seriously. I loved this story, but at the same time I was terribly anxious to post it because this verse is just so intimidating. But yay! I didn't ruin it XD

Anyway. Thank you so much. I'm glad you liked it, even though it was painful :)

[skimthesurface]

Wow. Incredibly well written, heartbreaking and thought provoking. Thanks so much for posting.

[high_flyer87]

Thank you! That really means a lot. Seriously. I was anxious to post this piece because I broke these two so badly, I was afraid people wouldn't like it, but I'm glad to see it worked for some people :)

Thanks so much for reading and commenting!