hatred
All i've wanted to do lately was curl up under a rock and die...or at least cry until i can't anymore. i really hope none of you who're in relationships take this too personally but I FUCKING HATE COUPLES! i wish they'd all just die! i hate not having someone i can go to for comfort! i whole heartedly hate everyone of you people who have someone they can turn to who'll hold them and tell them everything's okay or that at least its going to be, regardless of whether that's true or not cause at least for a split second for you guys everything is right with the world. yea, i've loads of friends but friends blow you off and never pester you until they get out of you what's bugging you and then are willing to sit with you for hours if that's what it takes to make you feel better. i actually think i may have 2, 3 or 4 friends out of the like 50 i've got that would sit with me for awhile but when they say everything'll be fine its not the same as when someone you really love says it and usually when your friends say it, its cause they've nothing else to say and/or want to leave and go do something else now.
i want my boyfriend to sit there for hours and hold me and tell me that everything's fine but that's never gonna happen at this rate. i'm sick of trying to be positive about shit! i've tried that for over a fucking year and it just doesn't fucking work! every time i think thinks are gonna actually get better EVERYTHING GOES TO FUCKING SHIT!!!!!!
i'm gonna go now. i can't breath through my nose, i've been crying for somewhere around half an hour now and my head is starting to fucking hurt! whether its from allergies, illness, whatever, i don't give a damn but if i keep it up i'm gonna start hyperventilating and that's not good cause i'm the only one home at the moment and i can't go anywhere cause my dad took my fucking car and my mom's at my sister's track meet and i just don't wanna be here anymore....
i just want it all to end...
i want my boyfriend to sit there for hours and hold me and tell me that everything's fine but that's never gonna happen at this rate. i'm sick of trying to be positive about shit! i've tried that for over a fucking year and it just doesn't fucking work! every time i think thinks are gonna actually get better EVERYTHING GOES TO FUCKING SHIT!!!!!!
i'm gonna go now. i can't breath through my nose, i've been crying for somewhere around half an hour now and my head is starting to fucking hurt! whether its from allergies, illness, whatever, i don't give a damn but if i keep it up i'm gonna start hyperventilating and that's not good cause i'm the only one home at the moment and i can't go anywhere cause my dad took my fucking car and my mom's at my sister's track meet and i just don't wanna be here anymore....
i just want it all to end...