Coda: Right Where You Belong
Right Where You Belong
Jon/Spencer (vaguely implied Brendon/Ryan) | PG-13 | ~2k
AN: A long time ago, I had lofty aspirations of writing twelve little fics for Christmas. Obviously, I failed, but witheveryspark asked for something in the Anywhere, Say Anywhere universe, and she's been sort of bummed lately. ♥ Thank you to anoneknewmoose for looking this over and to stephanometra for telling me how this should end.
Spencer used to think he was really good with children. He had little sisters; he understood that they liked to be treated like people and not like little beings that were cute on occasion and should get the fuck away on others.
He doesn't think that way anymore. Not when he's supposed to be going on the damned hayride with Brendon and Ryan, and Allie won't stop crying.
"Hey, hey," he says, and he tries not to sound as tired as he feels, like she can know and appreciate it. "Hey, it's okay."
"Dadada," Allie says again, in her heart-breaking little voice that makes Spencer feel like a terrible human being even though there is nothing he can do.
He pulls a face for Allie, rolls his eyes and sticks out his tongue, but she just keeps whining, one low cry at the same pitch. She only takes breaks to breathe, her little face red and snotty.
"Do you want your juice?" he asks, picking up her cup and trying to set it on her train.
"No," she says, and she bats at it, trying to push it onto the floor.
Brendon and Ryan are on the other side of the table, looking at him. "Spence, she's probably tired."
Spencer wants to laugh, because he's tired too. Neither one of them can sleep as well without Jon there, apparently. Allie won't fall asleep unless Spencer puts the television on and walks her until almost two in the morning, and they both have to be up and ready to face the day by sunrise.
They slept in until seven this morning, only waking up when Brendon started pounding on the door.
"I know," Spencer says, and he feels old suddenly, older than twenty-six.
Allie pushes her pieces of hamburger onto the floor and she starts to pull at her bib, face red. "No," she says again. Spencer's seen Allie in enough foul moods, even if they are less common, to know that she'll start pounding on her tray in a minute.
"Dude, just put her to bed. Ross and I will grab Alex, and he can come with us. It's not a big deal." Brendon gets up from the table and starts picking pieces of food off the floor, even though Spencer should be doing it. He's supposed to be watching Allie.
"She'll bother the guests, Spence," Ryan adds, and he has his eyes on Brendon, watching him grab shit off the floor. "And you look like shit."
"Yeah, I don't know how Jon does this," Spencer mutters before he grabs a washcloth, telling Allie, "Okay, okay," as he wipes off her slimy hands and face and then gets her out of the high chair.
"Jon Walker is awesome and amazing and, like, made of kittens or some shi--thing." Brendon grabs his hat off the counter and jams it on his head. "Also, Jon never has to deal with his baby girl missing her daddy."
Allie looks at him, bottom lip stuck out and eyes huge. She's rubbing her ear when she starts to whine, "Dadadada," again.
"Okay, baby girl," he murmurs. He knows she doesn't have an ear infection; they ran into town to check that two days ago. She's just over-tired and miserable, and Spencer hates that he can't make her happy, no matter how many silly faces he pulls or stories he reads to her.
Spencer gets her washed up and into a fresh diaper and her green nightgown. It's too warm for real pajamas, and he thinks that the duck print is sort of cute. She's worn herself down to whimpering though, when he finishes running a comb through her hair, where it's getting long enough to form dark ringlets at the nape of her neck.
He kisses her temple and lets her sit in Jon's bed--their bed, since Spencer practically moved in, and the thought still makes him smile--when he tries to read her a story. She keeps hitting the book out of his hands and telling him, "NO,' in her loudest voice, but then she cries when he tries to put the book away.
It's a little after nine when the phone rings, and he almost doesn't answer it. Sometimes he ends up intercepting a phonecall from Jon's parents or, worse, Cassie, and it's still new enough that it's awkward.
He almost doesn't answer it, except that Jon said he'd try to call tonight, and the hayride usually gets back at nine. "Hello?" he says, when Allie's still smacking at the book he's holding. "Allie, stop that," he hisses.
"What's she doing?" Jon says in his ear, and Spencer has to close his eyes and remember that he promised Jon he could watch her, that it would only be a couple of days while he was out of town meeting with potential sponsors.
"She misses you," he says, finally. It seems the safest thing to say.
Jon laughs softly. "Yeah? Can I talk to her?"
Spencer puts the phone up to her ear, and it's always funny to watch her on the phone. She's little enough still that she doesn't really get the point of it, but she knows Jon's voice on the other end. She smiles big, showing off all her teeth, and Spencer can't resist pressing a kiss to the top of her head.
He leans close to try and hear what Jon's saying, waiting until he hears Jon say, "Spence," against Allie's ear to take the phone back.
"Hey," he says again. He chews the side of his cheek. "How's it going?"
"You know." Allie whimpers again. Spencer rubs her leg, tries to get her to settle. "She really misses you?"
Jon laughs softly. "Yeah, I miss her too." He sighs a little. "And you."
It makes Spencer smile, even though Allie's twisting to get away. "Yeah?"
"Yeah. I miss you stealing all my blankets and kicking me in the middle of the night." Jon sighs a little into the phone.
"And I miss your snoring," Spencer teases. It used to be something he had to adjust to, louder than Ryan's faint murmuring across the room; now, it's something he needs in the background, as much as he needs Jon's warm body beside his.
Jon sighs, and the payphone they're talking on starts talking about more change. "That's my cue," he says. "I'll talk to you both soon."
"Okay," Spencer murmurs. Allie starts whining again, like she knows her daddy is going away. He needs to get her back into her crib, but he doesn't want to get out of bed.
It sounds like Jon says, "Love you," but the phone cuts out before Spencer can respond. He doesn't roll his eyes at Jon too much, because they haven't really gotten to saying those sorts of things. He knows how he feels about Jon; he's pretty sure how Jon feels about him. They don't need to make a thing out of it.
Still, he doesn't feel bad for smiling into Allie's hair before he picks her up and tucks her back into her crib. She starts to fuss again, but she's a little more tired now, a little less loud. It's only five minutes before she goes quiet and he thinks the worst has passed them. Jon will be home soon, after all.
***
It's a little after three when Spencer wakes up, the blankets and sheets moving and cold toes pushing against his calf.
He turns over, squinting to try and see the time, and then at the person in his bed. He doesn't think it's Ryan. Ryan's always trips over Allie's toys in the dark. "What?"
"Go back to sleep, Spence," Jon whispers in the dark, and that's enough to get Spencer sitting up and turning on the bedside lamp.
And it is Jon, half tucked under the blanket with Allie in his arms. He smiles a little sheepishly at Spencer. "She looked really miserable," he says, like he needs to explain why he's bringing the baby into bed with them.
She looks more content with Jon holding her, and Spencer smiles, reaching out and touching along her leg, where Jon's left hand is holding her up. "She hasn't been sleeping well," he says before he reaches over to shut the light off.
"I figured," Jon says after a minute, when he's got Allie situated in the bed between them. "When I came out here for my interview, my mom watched her, and she would scream herself to sleep every night."
"So it's not just me," Spencer says softly. He puts his head back down on the pillow, but he's still looking at where he thinks Jon is. It's too dark to see him at all, but he's gotten quite good at figuring out where Jon is in bed.
"No, it's not just you," Jon says, and he leans close, brushing his mouth over the side of Spencer's mouth. They both chuckle as Jon adjusts so they're kissing properly and Spencer has his hand curled in Jon's hair, tugging on it gently.
"You gonna tell me how you're here?" he says against Jon's mouth, before he pulls back. His nose bumps against Jon's.
"I was calling you from the bus station. I was going to ask you to pick me up, but you sounded tired. Brendon came and got me instead." Jon steals another kiss before he falls back against the bed. "And we got lost on the way back."
"So he'll be useless tomorrow," Spencer says, light and teasing. He knows he needs to get back to sleep; he'll sleep better with Jon here. He knows that.
"Brendon? He doesn't need sleep like the rest of us old men, you know that." Jon yawns then and he shifts so he's closer to Spencer, his hand on Spencer's waist. "But I think Ryan may be the only one awake early enough to do coffee."
"Fuck that," Spencer murmurs. Ryan is not allowed to make the morning coffee. He has funny ideas about how strong it should be, something Spencer can't understand to this day. Ryan's been working with horses as long as Spencer has, but he still likes his coffee almost milk-white. It's sort of sickening.
Jon just laughs, and Spencer closes his eyes. He wants to ask Jon what he said on the phone, before the line cut off, if part of the message was dropped, but the idea makes his mouth dry and palms itch. He shifts a little, enough that Jon makes a discontent noise and whispers, "Spence?"
"Sorry," he whispers back. "Just..." He sighs out and says, "She cried for your mom, too?"
"Yeah, she was pretty awful from what I understand. Like, she slept only ten hours, and she was really little then." Jon's voice goes soft. "She's gotten so big."
Spencer sucks in a breath. "I think... I want to meet your mom, if that's okay with you," he says before he can stop himself.
Jon goes still. Spencer can feel it, and he closes his eyes before Jon says, "Really?" And then he surges forward. Their noses bump again, and it's awkward, but it's as dirty a kiss as it can be with Allie sleeping between them, Jon running his tongue over the seam of Spencer's lips before dipping inside, the hand at his waist sliding down into his pajama pants and palming at his ass.
He shivers before he pushes Jon back. "Work in the morning," he murmurs.
"I know," Jon says, but he doesn't take his hand away. "There's always tomorrow afternoon."
"I have riding lessons--"
"Brendon's taking your class since he's free. We talked about it." Jon noses at Spencer's beard.
And Spencer really should be more disturbed that Brendon is offering to take classes so he can get laid, but he's taken on enough of Brendon's classes so Brendon can go ride trails with Ryan's groups that he can't really bring himself to care. "You should ask his supervisor," Spencer says, low and teasing.
"I should, but I was thinking of surprising him." Jon moves his hand back to the small of Spencer's back. "I should probably let you sleep, then, so you don't crash on me tomorrow."
"Mmm," Spencer says, and he closes his eyes again. "Not all of us need as much sleep as the old men, you know," and he laughs when Jon swats his ass.
Jon/Spencer (vaguely implied Brendon/Ryan) | PG-13 | ~2k
AN: A long time ago, I had lofty aspirations of writing twelve little fics for Christmas. Obviously, I failed, but witheveryspark asked for something in the Anywhere, Say Anywhere universe, and she's been sort of bummed lately. ♥ Thank you to anoneknewmoose for looking this over and to stephanometra for telling me how this should end.
Spencer used to think he was really good with children. He had little sisters; he understood that they liked to be treated like people and not like little beings that were cute on occasion and should get the fuck away on others.
He doesn't think that way anymore. Not when he's supposed to be going on the damned hayride with Brendon and Ryan, and Allie won't stop crying.
"Hey, hey," he says, and he tries not to sound as tired as he feels, like she can know and appreciate it. "Hey, it's okay."
"Dadada," Allie says again, in her heart-breaking little voice that makes Spencer feel like a terrible human being even though there is nothing he can do.
He pulls a face for Allie, rolls his eyes and sticks out his tongue, but she just keeps whining, one low cry at the same pitch. She only takes breaks to breathe, her little face red and snotty.
"Do you want your juice?" he asks, picking up her cup and trying to set it on her train.
"No," she says, and she bats at it, trying to push it onto the floor.
Brendon and Ryan are on the other side of the table, looking at him. "Spence, she's probably tired."
Spencer wants to laugh, because he's tired too. Neither one of them can sleep as well without Jon there, apparently. Allie won't fall asleep unless Spencer puts the television on and walks her until almost two in the morning, and they both have to be up and ready to face the day by sunrise.
They slept in until seven this morning, only waking up when Brendon started pounding on the door.
"I know," Spencer says, and he feels old suddenly, older than twenty-six.
Allie pushes her pieces of hamburger onto the floor and she starts to pull at her bib, face red. "No," she says again. Spencer's seen Allie in enough foul moods, even if they are less common, to know that she'll start pounding on her tray in a minute.
"Dude, just put her to bed. Ross and I will grab Alex, and he can come with us. It's not a big deal." Brendon gets up from the table and starts picking pieces of food off the floor, even though Spencer should be doing it. He's supposed to be watching Allie.
"She'll bother the guests, Spence," Ryan adds, and he has his eyes on Brendon, watching him grab shit off the floor. "And you look like shit."
"Yeah, I don't know how Jon does this," Spencer mutters before he grabs a washcloth, telling Allie, "Okay, okay," as he wipes off her slimy hands and face and then gets her out of the high chair.
"Jon Walker is awesome and amazing and, like, made of kittens or some shi--thing." Brendon grabs his hat off the counter and jams it on his head. "Also, Jon never has to deal with his baby girl missing her daddy."
Allie looks at him, bottom lip stuck out and eyes huge. She's rubbing her ear when she starts to whine, "Dadadada," again.
"Okay, baby girl," he murmurs. He knows she doesn't have an ear infection; they ran into town to check that two days ago. She's just over-tired and miserable, and Spencer hates that he can't make her happy, no matter how many silly faces he pulls or stories he reads to her.
Spencer gets her washed up and into a fresh diaper and her green nightgown. It's too warm for real pajamas, and he thinks that the duck print is sort of cute. She's worn herself down to whimpering though, when he finishes running a comb through her hair, where it's getting long enough to form dark ringlets at the nape of her neck.
He kisses her temple and lets her sit in Jon's bed--their bed, since Spencer practically moved in, and the thought still makes him smile--when he tries to read her a story. She keeps hitting the book out of his hands and telling him, "NO,' in her loudest voice, but then she cries when he tries to put the book away.
It's a little after nine when the phone rings, and he almost doesn't answer it. Sometimes he ends up intercepting a phonecall from Jon's parents or, worse, Cassie, and it's still new enough that it's awkward.
He almost doesn't answer it, except that Jon said he'd try to call tonight, and the hayride usually gets back at nine. "Hello?" he says, when Allie's still smacking at the book he's holding. "Allie, stop that," he hisses.
"What's she doing?" Jon says in his ear, and Spencer has to close his eyes and remember that he promised Jon he could watch her, that it would only be a couple of days while he was out of town meeting with potential sponsors.
"She misses you," he says, finally. It seems the safest thing to say.
Jon laughs softly. "Yeah? Can I talk to her?"
Spencer puts the phone up to her ear, and it's always funny to watch her on the phone. She's little enough still that she doesn't really get the point of it, but she knows Jon's voice on the other end. She smiles big, showing off all her teeth, and Spencer can't resist pressing a kiss to the top of her head.
He leans close to try and hear what Jon's saying, waiting until he hears Jon say, "Spence," against Allie's ear to take the phone back.
"Hey," he says again. He chews the side of his cheek. "How's it going?"
"You know." Allie whimpers again. Spencer rubs her leg, tries to get her to settle. "She really misses you?"
Jon laughs softly. "Yeah, I miss her too." He sighs a little. "And you."
It makes Spencer smile, even though Allie's twisting to get away. "Yeah?"
"Yeah. I miss you stealing all my blankets and kicking me in the middle of the night." Jon sighs a little into the phone.
"And I miss your snoring," Spencer teases. It used to be something he had to adjust to, louder than Ryan's faint murmuring across the room; now, it's something he needs in the background, as much as he needs Jon's warm body beside his.
Jon sighs, and the payphone they're talking on starts talking about more change. "That's my cue," he says. "I'll talk to you both soon."
"Okay," Spencer murmurs. Allie starts whining again, like she knows her daddy is going away. He needs to get her back into her crib, but he doesn't want to get out of bed.
It sounds like Jon says, "Love you," but the phone cuts out before Spencer can respond. He doesn't roll his eyes at Jon too much, because they haven't really gotten to saying those sorts of things. He knows how he feels about Jon; he's pretty sure how Jon feels about him. They don't need to make a thing out of it.
Still, he doesn't feel bad for smiling into Allie's hair before he picks her up and tucks her back into her crib. She starts to fuss again, but she's a little more tired now, a little less loud. It's only five minutes before she goes quiet and he thinks the worst has passed them. Jon will be home soon, after all.
***
It's a little after three when Spencer wakes up, the blankets and sheets moving and cold toes pushing against his calf.
He turns over, squinting to try and see the time, and then at the person in his bed. He doesn't think it's Ryan. Ryan's always trips over Allie's toys in the dark. "What?"
"Go back to sleep, Spence," Jon whispers in the dark, and that's enough to get Spencer sitting up and turning on the bedside lamp.
And it is Jon, half tucked under the blanket with Allie in his arms. He smiles a little sheepishly at Spencer. "She looked really miserable," he says, like he needs to explain why he's bringing the baby into bed with them.
She looks more content with Jon holding her, and Spencer smiles, reaching out and touching along her leg, where Jon's left hand is holding her up. "She hasn't been sleeping well," he says before he reaches over to shut the light off.
"I figured," Jon says after a minute, when he's got Allie situated in the bed between them. "When I came out here for my interview, my mom watched her, and she would scream herself to sleep every night."
"So it's not just me," Spencer says softly. He puts his head back down on the pillow, but he's still looking at where he thinks Jon is. It's too dark to see him at all, but he's gotten quite good at figuring out where Jon is in bed.
"No, it's not just you," Jon says, and he leans close, brushing his mouth over the side of Spencer's mouth. They both chuckle as Jon adjusts so they're kissing properly and Spencer has his hand curled in Jon's hair, tugging on it gently.
"You gonna tell me how you're here?" he says against Jon's mouth, before he pulls back. His nose bumps against Jon's.
"I was calling you from the bus station. I was going to ask you to pick me up, but you sounded tired. Brendon came and got me instead." Jon steals another kiss before he falls back against the bed. "And we got lost on the way back."
"So he'll be useless tomorrow," Spencer says, light and teasing. He knows he needs to get back to sleep; he'll sleep better with Jon here. He knows that.
"Brendon? He doesn't need sleep like the rest of us old men, you know that." Jon yawns then and he shifts so he's closer to Spencer, his hand on Spencer's waist. "But I think Ryan may be the only one awake early enough to do coffee."
"Fuck that," Spencer murmurs. Ryan is not allowed to make the morning coffee. He has funny ideas about how strong it should be, something Spencer can't understand to this day. Ryan's been working with horses as long as Spencer has, but he still likes his coffee almost milk-white. It's sort of sickening.
Jon just laughs, and Spencer closes his eyes. He wants to ask Jon what he said on the phone, before the line cut off, if part of the message was dropped, but the idea makes his mouth dry and palms itch. He shifts a little, enough that Jon makes a discontent noise and whispers, "Spence?"
"Sorry," he whispers back. "Just..." He sighs out and says, "She cried for your mom, too?"
"Yeah, she was pretty awful from what I understand. Like, she slept only ten hours, and she was really little then." Jon's voice goes soft. "She's gotten so big."
Spencer sucks in a breath. "I think... I want to meet your mom, if that's okay with you," he says before he can stop himself.
Jon goes still. Spencer can feel it, and he closes his eyes before Jon says, "Really?" And then he surges forward. Their noses bump again, and it's awkward, but it's as dirty a kiss as it can be with Allie sleeping between them, Jon running his tongue over the seam of Spencer's lips before dipping inside, the hand at his waist sliding down into his pajama pants and palming at his ass.
He shivers before he pushes Jon back. "Work in the morning," he murmurs.
"I know," Jon says, but he doesn't take his hand away. "There's always tomorrow afternoon."
"I have riding lessons--"
"Brendon's taking your class since he's free. We talked about it." Jon noses at Spencer's beard.
And Spencer really should be more disturbed that Brendon is offering to take classes so he can get laid, but he's taken on enough of Brendon's classes so Brendon can go ride trails with Ryan's groups that he can't really bring himself to care. "You should ask his supervisor," Spencer says, low and teasing.
"I should, but I was thinking of surprising him." Jon moves his hand back to the small of Spencer's back. "I should probably let you sleep, then, so you don't crash on me tomorrow."
"Mmm," Spencer says, and he closes his eyes again. "Not all of us need as much sleep as the old men, you know," and he laughs when Jon swats his ass.