(no subject)
so as we speak its 2 am and im bawling myu fuckign eeyes out
im drunk and emotional.
i just had a talk with zach .... all we did is hug each other and cry and he apologized again and again saying "oim so sorry. im so sorry. i let you down. your such a great girl and i let you down .."
and all i kept saying is fuck YOU ! i love you and you hurt me. all i ever did was love you.. again and again
and hej ust kept apologizing
and it hurts so fuckign bad jesus fuckign christ
i hate to say it. i do. but if he told me tomorrow he wanted to be be wtih me again i would go to him. i love him.i *konw* i know. OOH HE CHEATED what a fuckign asshole but uknow what?
fuck you.
i love himn.
it hurts. so FUCKIGN much . i know i shouldnt be talkign this way .i know that hes bad news bears, he doesnt nkow what he wants where hes gonna be in a year, WHO he'll be fucking and that hurts
but not as much as not being able to sleep in his bed. to be out in public with him and have him put his arms around me, to have the right to just walk up and kiss him.
i miss when he laughed all the time and told me how cute i was when i did silly little things, and i miss when i could just walk up and put my hea don his shoulder and he'd automatically put his arms around me ... i miss saying i was his girl . i miss everything
christ. im fuckgik drunk and bawling my eyes out. im so fucking stupid for feeling this way but CHRIST
we stood outside his appartment building for 10 minutes crying and hugging and exchanging apologies. i owe him none but yet i was still saying im sorry too again and again ...
he told me he loved me . i asked him how he could love me if he could do this to me ... he didtn respond he just cried. and i held him . and even tho i was heartwrenchingly weak in the knees sad, and heart broken ... i told him i love him too .
because i do ..
that doesnt mean it'll all be peaches and cream tomorrow .... but i have yet to have the *really good cry* that you are supposed to have after u break up with the ex.
but i had it tonight with him ...
tonight was so fuckign fucekdup .. so much.. SO MUCH SHIT HAPPEND that wasnt supposed to happen. and then we go out, i flirt with random guyts, we go home, and both cry our fuckinfg faces off
this is so stupid ... i want him in my life. but i know already, all my friends and family would say the same thing .. " waht are u retarded? why are u go9ing back to him, he treaated you like shit.." u kknow what? its os much more complicated then that ...
you just dont understand .....
he may not either ... but ... i love him .. and thats perhaps what hurts most of all
-Drunk and Weary : St.Catharines, Ontario -
im drunk and emotional.
i just had a talk with zach .... all we did is hug each other and cry and he apologized again and again saying "oim so sorry. im so sorry. i let you down. your such a great girl and i let you down .."
and all i kept saying is fuck YOU ! i love you and you hurt me. all i ever did was love you.. again and again
and hej ust kept apologizing
and it hurts so fuckign bad jesus fuckign christ
i hate to say it. i do. but if he told me tomorrow he wanted to be be wtih me again i would go to him. i love him.i *konw* i know. OOH HE CHEATED what a fuckign asshole but uknow what?
fuck you.
i love himn.
it hurts. so FUCKIGN much . i know i shouldnt be talkign this way .i know that hes bad news bears, he doesnt nkow what he wants where hes gonna be in a year, WHO he'll be fucking and that hurts
but not as much as not being able to sleep in his bed. to be out in public with him and have him put his arms around me, to have the right to just walk up and kiss him.
i miss when he laughed all the time and told me how cute i was when i did silly little things, and i miss when i could just walk up and put my hea don his shoulder and he'd automatically put his arms around me ... i miss saying i was his girl . i miss everything
christ. im fuckgik drunk and bawling my eyes out. im so fucking stupid for feeling this way but CHRIST
we stood outside his appartment building for 10 minutes crying and hugging and exchanging apologies. i owe him none but yet i was still saying im sorry too again and again ...
he told me he loved me . i asked him how he could love me if he could do this to me ... he didtn respond he just cried. and i held him . and even tho i was heartwrenchingly weak in the knees sad, and heart broken ... i told him i love him too .
because i do ..
that doesnt mean it'll all be peaches and cream tomorrow .... but i have yet to have the *really good cry* that you are supposed to have after u break up with the ex.
but i had it tonight with him ...
tonight was so fuckign fucekdup .. so much.. SO MUCH SHIT HAPPEND that wasnt supposed to happen. and then we go out, i flirt with random guyts, we go home, and both cry our fuckinfg faces off
this is so stupid ... i want him in my life. but i know already, all my friends and family would say the same thing .. " waht are u retarded? why are u go9ing back to him, he treaated you like shit.." u kknow what? its os much more complicated then that ...
you just dont understand .....
he may not either ... but ... i love him .. and thats perhaps what hurts most of all
-Drunk and Weary : St.Catharines, Ontario -