(no subject)
Today has been pretty shitty, but you know life. I am so confused about everything lately, especially Jackie. I just don't understand what she's feeling or why she's feeling it anymore. I care about that girl so fucking much it even shocks me. I worry about her when she doesn't call, I actually care when she's happy and how her day was, I smile when I think about her goofiness, and I think about how perfectly perfect she is. It's so odd to feel this way. I don't love her though because in order to love someone, you have to have a relationship with them and build from that, and I don't even really have a relationship with her. So to say I'm in love with her would be totally out of bounds and based upon false reasons. I cut myself this evening, and I laughed about it. The laugh kind of sounded haunted and scary. I need some type of help. This just isn't cutting it anymore. Life just isn't cutting it anymore. I am so fucking depressed I can barely stand it. To put it plainly, everything sucks, but I'll stop dwelling.
------- Stephanie
------- Stephanie