Insomniac...

[hiddentruth87]

its 2:46 am, and i have akeys' "troubles" on repeat... i should be asleep but obviously i'm not. I should have called my doctor today to tell her about how my depression has gotten worse..i know i need to talk to someone but i feel like NO ONE understands my problems.. maybe its because i dont even understand my own problems...i feel like, well i know im livin a double life...  maybe i should have never considered goin to the other side and mess with females... ugh thats problem numero uno.. hiding that from my parents...and so many people that i surround myself with... i hate the fact that im hiding shit from them, i know i shouldnt but its hard..I constantly feel like im surrounded  by my parents, and i truely do respect the fact that they care and love me, but i just want to know what it would be like to live on my own..

im so confused about this one girl, i feel like one minute she likes me, and then the next minute she doesnt... its so weird shes told me she has feelings for me, but idk.. its so hard to read her sometime...
I jus want someone to be there for me late at nite, someone i can jus hold and cry into thier arms.. i dont wanna hide shit from them anymore...i need to change my life, and i need to change it now.. maybe i should go back to praying.. i think that will help me...

ive gotten rid of the smoking, and i dont drink as much as i used to.. now i just gotta get back into praying...ill try to start tomorrow....