023
"Things have changed. This isn't a safe bet anymore." Was it ever? I fight back tears, because legends don't cry. "Grow up." I whisper. He blocked my exit and grabbed me by the arm and took me place I swore I wouldn't return to. He said that life was a piece of art, and I told him I wanted him to stay away from my Picasso. Spring time is near, I can feel it in my joints, in my hair, in the air, and in your touch. It knows we'll be leaving when summer rolls around so it throws in a few more rain clouds to keep us here. Remember when I wasn't the name causing the controversy. You didn't think I was pretty then. "I just want to hold your hand," and then I walked away. It's the reason I stay up until 11:11. It's the reason I'm never quite okay. It's the reason I stay around this town. It's the reason I'm dying and I'm alive. I wished upon clouds yesterday, they seem more reliable than the stars do and besides I don't like all the attention they bring. I ran away from life for awhile tonight, hidden beneath the trees and dark. It rained, and I knew he was thinking about me. The wind blew harder than I could imagine and I prayed for some sort of life shattering event, being bored with the usual broken body parts and wishing for something deathly. I don't want you to fall in love with me and if you had I hope you get over it quickly. I don't want to add your name to the list of notches on my bedpost, to hurt you and damage you beyond repair. I wish for a day I could see myself through his eyes. Does he like my laugh or when I brush my hair to the side? I will not be broken. You are not broken, you never were! When you will face it that best friends arent forever and that I'm better at breaking hearts than I am at making friends? What if the sunlight burns us into submission? What if my voice doesn't carry into the ocean, can you hear me screaming. Will you answer those screams. "I want you. I want you. I want you." But baby, everyone else in the room does too.