(no subject)
I feel like im stuck.
Like I can see where I want to go
and who i want to be
but i dont know how to get there.
Not the first, teeniest clue.
I know my problem is that i doubt myself.
I want to become an ocean photographer, unltimately.
That would be the most amazing, unique job ever,
but when i really think about it..i'm like yeah but thats impossible.
And stupid, because i dont think theres a career in that. And I think my family will support me, but kind of grit their teeth because they know that it's probably not going to go very far.
I need to write this to inspire myself, and to motivate ymself
and to tell myself that i can
because i dont have anyone to do that for me.
So I have to do it for myself.
I feel like im always the "yes you can" person in everyone else's lives, but not my own.
Everyone needs that person in their life, even if you have to do it for yourself. Someone has to.
I need to start swallowing some of my own advice.
I need to stop thinking and start doing, because I have so many thoughts, aspirations, opinions, feelings, observations, etc. that flow through my mind at every given moment of time, and i never let it out.
I need a journal.
I need a penicil.
I need a sketch book (which i have thanks to mike :])
I need paints
I need space.
I need air.
I need headphones in constantly so I can block out the world
and flourish.
I need someone I can talk to about these things who will understand, a deep and complex person who won't think i'm nuts when I want to talk about nature and who feels the same exciting tenseness in their chest as i do when we're conversing. Or listening to an amazing song. Who shuts up and listens, and hears.
I need to be somewhere warm near the ocean for a while, by myself. I need to leanr how to become completely at ease with who I am and what I'm doing,and not worry about what other people think about what im doing.
But without headphones in, that's much harder than it seems.
I'm so conscious of everyone around me
it's annoying more than anything.
I need a camera, and I need to take things more seriously. all the time. not just when im in the mood to.
I know im not the only one in this situation either. Amajority of people myage are here.
But everyone covers it up, or are pessimistic..and i just want to be positive! about everything! why can't more people look up insetad of down? I mean, obviously some things aren't good, but so many people..instead of making the best with what they've got, just milk the bad things for everything their worth and make themselves miserable.
I want to go to school far away.
I need to talk to an advisor,but honestly, I dont feel anadvisor os going to support my idea of ocean photography either.
ugh
Like I can see where I want to go
and who i want to be
but i dont know how to get there.
Not the first, teeniest clue.
I know my problem is that i doubt myself.
I want to become an ocean photographer, unltimately.
That would be the most amazing, unique job ever,
but when i really think about it..i'm like yeah but thats impossible.
And stupid, because i dont think theres a career in that. And I think my family will support me, but kind of grit their teeth because they know that it's probably not going to go very far.
I need to write this to inspire myself, and to motivate ymself
and to tell myself that i can
because i dont have anyone to do that for me.
So I have to do it for myself.
I feel like im always the "yes you can" person in everyone else's lives, but not my own.
Everyone needs that person in their life, even if you have to do it for yourself. Someone has to.
I need to start swallowing some of my own advice.
I need to stop thinking and start doing, because I have so many thoughts, aspirations, opinions, feelings, observations, etc. that flow through my mind at every given moment of time, and i never let it out.
I need a journal.
I need a penicil.
I need a sketch book (which i have thanks to mike :])
I need paints
I need space.
I need air.
I need headphones in constantly so I can block out the world
and flourish.
I need someone I can talk to about these things who will understand, a deep and complex person who won't think i'm nuts when I want to talk about nature and who feels the same exciting tenseness in their chest as i do when we're conversing. Or listening to an amazing song. Who shuts up and listens, and hears.
I need to be somewhere warm near the ocean for a while, by myself. I need to leanr how to become completely at ease with who I am and what I'm doing,and not worry about what other people think about what im doing.
But without headphones in, that's much harder than it seems.
I'm so conscious of everyone around me
it's annoying more than anything.
I need a camera, and I need to take things more seriously. all the time. not just when im in the mood to.
I know im not the only one in this situation either. Amajority of people myage are here.
But everyone covers it up, or are pessimistic..and i just want to be positive! about everything! why can't more people look up insetad of down? I mean, obviously some things aren't good, but so many people..instead of making the best with what they've got, just milk the bad things for everything their worth and make themselves miserable.
I want to go to school far away.
I need to talk to an advisor,but honestly, I dont feel anadvisor os going to support my idea of ocean photography either.
ugh