(no subject)
Apparently the following is a true story according to the email it came in from my Grandparents. Wheather it's true or not it is pretty damn funny.
This is the actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support
Employee.
Employee: "Rich Hall, Computer Assistance; may I help you?"
Customer: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
Employee: "What sort of trouble?"
Customer: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."
Employee: "Went away?"
Customer: "They disappeared."
Employee: "Hmmm... So what does your screen look like now?"
Customer: "Nothing."
Employee: "Nothing?"
Customer: "It's a blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
Employee: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
Customer: "How do I tell?"
Employee: "Can you see the 'C': prompt on the screen?"
Customer: "What is a sea prompt?"
Employee: "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"
Customer: "There isn't any cursor; I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
Employee: "Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
Customer: "What's a monitor?"
Employee: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"
Customer: "I don't know."
Employee: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"
Customer: "Yes, I think so."
Employee: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall." Customer: "Yes, it is."
Employee: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice if there were two cables plugged into the back of it or just one?"
Customer: "No."
Employee: "OK, then just find a cable."
Customer: "Okay, here it is."
Employee: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into
the back of your computer."
Customer: "I can't reach."
Employee: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"
Customer: "No."
Employee: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"
Customer: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle, it's because it's dark."
Employee: "Dark?"
Customer: "Yes -- the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."
Employee: "Well, turn on the office light, then."
Customer: "I can't."
Employee: "No? Why not?"
Customer: "Because there's a power failure."
Employee: "A power......a power failure? ... Aha, okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and the packing stuff your computer came in?"
Customer: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
Employee: "Good.. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."
Customer: "Really? Is it that bad?"
Employee: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."
Customer: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"
Employee: "Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer."
This is the actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support
Employee.
Employee: "Rich Hall, Computer Assistance; may I help you?"
Customer: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
Employee: "What sort of trouble?"
Customer: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."
Employee: "Went away?"
Customer: "They disappeared."
Employee: "Hmmm... So what does your screen look like now?"
Customer: "Nothing."
Employee: "Nothing?"
Customer: "It's a blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
Employee: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
Customer: "How do I tell?"
Employee: "Can you see the 'C': prompt on the screen?"
Customer: "What is a sea prompt?"
Employee: "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"
Customer: "There isn't any cursor; I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
Employee: "Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
Customer: "What's a monitor?"
Employee: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"
Customer: "I don't know."
Employee: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"
Customer: "Yes, I think so."
Employee: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall." Customer: "Yes, it is."
Employee: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice if there were two cables plugged into the back of it or just one?"
Customer: "No."
Employee: "OK, then just find a cable."
Customer: "Okay, here it is."
Employee: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into
the back of your computer."
Customer: "I can't reach."
Employee: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"
Customer: "No."
Employee: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"
Customer: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle, it's because it's dark."
Employee: "Dark?"
Customer: "Yes -- the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."
Employee: "Well, turn on the office light, then."
Customer: "I can't."
Employee: "No? Why not?"
Customer: "Because there's a power failure."
Employee: "A power......a power failure? ... Aha, okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and the packing stuff your computer came in?"
Customer: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
Employee: "Good.. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."
Customer: "Really? Is it that bad?"
Employee: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."
Customer: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"
Employee: "Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer."