and the bad news keeps on comming...
well not only did my best friend move to tennessee yesterday i got a call about 15 mins ago around 9:30 am it was my guidance counsoler (sp?) and apparently i might not graduate on time. he suggests i take summerschool for at least english wich will cost 150 bucks he says with the 3 courses i need to take over (the mandatory ones) it will be really hard for me next year so if i take the english i can get the full credit and then take the other 1/2 semester of bio and us history during 2nd semester i might be able to graduate wich means i cannot afford to fail any classes but it isnt that easy for me. i can already feel my depression comming back. i dont think i can do this my moms pissed now but whats new right? i cant do anything right i'm only 17 and i am managing to fuck up my life already. the friends that brought me out of my depression the ones that prevented me from killing myself are gone now. most graduated and i wont see them. bcw (wresting) is over and the one "friend" i do see i dont trust anymore. how can i? lately she's been 2 faced and i'm done with it. i know i am not gonna start shit and i am hoping she doesnt but idk shit happens... so once again i am alone and i'm scared i really dont think i can do this i just want to curl up and go to sleep and hide for the rest of my friggen life but i can't. i kinda feel like i am in quick sand the harder you struggle to stay up the faster you sink... i'm so tired and numb i dont even know where i am going with half of this but once again it doesnt matter things start getting better only to push me right back under so w/e i give up i am a worthless peice of shit and i suck at life everyone is right congrats assholes you all win i'm out gonna go back to fucking sleep