(no subject)
Lauren left for Colorado this morning. I cried. It's the beginning of the end. It means taht Im next, and that when I get out there, I'm not even going to have my sister, one of my best friends in the world, by my side. I was just filled with this overwhelming loneliness as she pulled out of the driveway, no noe can understand how horrible this feels inside. To have to leave everything you love, everything you've even known behind and go somewhere else. Everyone's like "oh you'll meet new people" but I don't want replacements. I love the people I've got. I dunno, some days it's easier and some days it's harder to accept. I just have to concentrate on the good stuff, not the fact that I'm leaving Ariadne who's been my best friend for some 11 years. and of course Dion who told me that he's in love with me last night, although I wonder if it really is love. I'm sure he thinks it is, but I dunno, it hasn't been that long and he doesnt see me that often. But i want to believe it, so I do. It just makes it SO much harder to leave though. Because I know that if I actually did have time to build something serious with him, it would be real, and maybe a month or two down the line amazing things would happen... but no, back to square one. I feel like I'm back in kindergarden, icck starting all over.