the snow makes me do crazy things!!!!
"...so hold on to the ones who really care, in the end they'll be the only ones there..."
HANSON, REPRESENT GANGSTAAAAA!!!!!
Oh mannn.
im in the greatest mood...this is one of my favorite things. SNOW like this...when it snows at nightime...no one has walked in it yet, it should be dark out but, theres that hint of light in the sky. its like a picture, it makes you (well, at least me) forget all your problems for at least a little while. ::sighs::
school was long and draining as usual. its like, i know im so much smarter than my grades could show you, i just dont have it in me. when i should be doing homework, my head is ANYWHERE other than homework. part of me never wants to grow up, i want to stay in high school forever; few REAL problems to deal with. but, theres the part of me that wants to hold intellectual conversations with interesting people, and say goodbye to all of the drama and gossip in the halls of my high school. i think, i know, i could do so much better if i was studying things i had an interest in. i could care less if those fucking trains crash going "X" miles per hour in "y" direction, i could care less about moles and atoms. i just want, i need something i can hold an interest in to be challenged by.
hm, someone suggest a really good book to me. im in the mood for a good book.
after school came work. lu and gulia BOTH had the day off. i thought it would feel like forever. i mean, chico barely speaks english and patricia is...patricia. and it was so slow. THEN CAME THE SNOW!!!! I went home an hour early (8) tonight bc my moms car sucks in the snow and it was slow.
im like a little kid right now!!!!!!!! so carefree. i just want to go out and play in the snow at midnight. ( no1 would play with me before :( , jakki stayed home sick, ivan had work and my brother (who btw is 11 and should want to play in the snow) was watching american idol) .
tomorrow...no school. no work!!!!!!!!!!
so, things are good for the most part. the boy is AMAZING and i love jakki to death. and they are really the only 2 people i see, and i could care less. i mean, id like to see alicia and sean and maybe a few people a little more but, im done trying so hard.
i still call my uncle steve every wednesday. its nice to have someone to talk to. come to think of it, i havent even really talked to any1 else in my crazy family at all lately.
as for my parents, they are who they are and theres nothing i can do to change that. i might as well except that. if i could wish one thing from them it would be to let me make my own mistakes once in a while,. im one of those people who have to see things to believe them and keeping me sheltered wont help me grow at all. i feel like, they refuse to let me grow up at all. idk man, what can ya do. i guess its getting slightly better. my mom let me go to ivans the other day and she knew his mom wasnt home. haha, big step man.
its all the snows fault that im crazy. i do this sometimes. im in this mood where i cant stay on topic and a million thoughts are running through my head all at once...