(no subject)
Ok, I can't sleep again, so I am going to just type until I am inclined to pass out. This is how I feel right now, I hate everyone with two parents! Its just so fucking unfair! I keep losing one and the other just gets rid of me by putting me somewhere else. Why doesn't she just disown me? She may as well! If my dad was still in my life or if Mark was still alive things would be better. It wouldn't hurt so bad. Its the kind of pain that hurts everywhere and nowhere. It won't go away, like a cut that doesn't heal but just grows and grows. It feels like I will never have a family to belong to, they just push me away, as if I'm defected, nobody wants me around, I'm only a nuisance to them. I want to disappear. I try to be okay with it, I even have everyone convinced I am too naive to notice the way they treat me. Why can't I at least have a relationship with my mom?
What did I do that was so wrong?
Why do they push me away?
Why only me?
What did I do that was so wrong?
Why do they push me away?
Why only me?