Relationship Meme/Reverse Meme goes here... comment with the names of your characters or what they think of Ken, and I'll reply with what he thinks of them.
Ahaha, I totally meant to come back to you and Omi and forgot about it completely.
It's been a month and things have changed, as we've discussed... the flailing when Francescu mentioned going home with him was largely fear. No one has ever been willing to give things up for him. Rather, they've cast him off, taken advantage of him, hurt and betrayed him, or had something more important to worry about. Ken doesn't feel like he's ever been anybody's priority before, and he's generally... well. Wary is a good word, but so is overwhelmed. He falls fast, but he's not good at admitting more than that. He's twitchy about PDAs. He's awkward and embarrassed and cute to us but endlessly frustrating to him. And even when he knows what he's feeling, he almost doesn't want to believe that someone could care about him that much back, and when he does accept it, he doesn't think he deserves it, and tries to rationalize why they might feel that way. He must have done something for them, or have something for them, etc etc. The only person he can honestly accept it from is Omi, because they've been through so much, and Omi's seen him. He's watched Ken kill people. He's watched Ken berserk and break down afterwards, and throw fits and wreck the shop and wake up screaming and come home drunk and... yeah. He's seen the worst and he's still around, and they've worked through the rougher patches at this point, like Omi not wanting Ken to go home and all that mess. Ken is fairly certain that if Omi can care about him after all that, he isn't going anywhere.
Francescu, on the other hand. Camp is a somewhat sterile environment for an assassin. And Francescu has seen some of the crazy, but not much, and Ken is better now, really, but he still gets... restless. Anxious. In ways that soccer with Yousuke just doesn't quite work out. So on the one hand, Ken didn't think.. still doesn't think, really, that Francescu understands what it is he does. And it adds to the fear. If Francescu followed them back to their world, and Ken wasn't killed for reappearing... he'd become an assassin again. And the thought of Francescu stuck in their world, without magic, unhappy with what he and Omi did. Well. His head spun out scenarios in which Fran began to hate him, and left, like everyone else. He'd rather Francescu hated him somewhere he could still get home from. Also, he's immortalish. Ken doesn't expect to live past 25 if he goes home. And he wasn't willing to leave his world, at that point, because Omi wanted to go home. And he wasn't going to leave Omi. So yeah, he was scared.
Also, on that point, Omi. Francescu baaaasically saying, "yes I know I come second," was bad. Bad bad bad. He doesn't deserve choices, he doesn't deserve people caring, and he certainly doesn't deserve people making sacrifices or lowering themselves in any way shape or form, for him. This is what he's believed his entire life. Stop messing with his world view, boyfriend. D:
OOC, I say mess with it more, because he needs to know that he's worth something, but. Yes. And I think I've lost track of all my ramblings, so let's jump to the next point. Since they're probably going to a different world where they won't be killing people, and he finally spit 'I love you' out to Omi and heard it back... he's feeling a little more secure, and a little less worthless, and he doesn't want to leave camp without Francescu. Romantic reasons aside, he's come to depend on his presence, and it would... really suck not being with him. He'd deal, because Fran would be along eventually, after settling family stuff, but.. it would suck. And learning that the family issues would be more of a trip out of their world than the other way around helped immensely. He's still scared of how fast it is, and the fact that Francescu is willing to go with them at all. But. Not quite as scared. More happy then scared, and hopeful, in ways he doesn't understand. OOC, I recognize this as him coming around and hating himself a little less. He needs constant bludgeoning, silly florist.
On the assassin thing: Francescu understands it a lot better than Ken thinks. His world is really dangerous, as you've read; a lot of that danger comes from nonhumans, but a lot of it doesn't, and the nonhumans are usually intelligent and articulate. So he's very, very familiar with killing things and people which talk back. And then there's Elisabet, who's an assassin herself and one of the most...human of the siblings. And he's believed all his life that he'll have to eventually kill all his brothers and sisters...so, yeah. He shrugs it off not because he doesn't understand it, but because he honestly doesn't really see why it should bother him. They should probably talk about this ICly at some point.
On the coming-in-second thing: Francescu's hoping, honestly, that time will bring him to equality with Omi, or close to equality. He's very, very patient when he has to be, and he loves Ken enough to wait as long as it takes. And yeah, fully intends to keep messing with his worldview in that way. (And will, probably, tell Ken he loves him at some point when I allow him to time it for good effect and proper belief.) This isn't to say that obvious reminders that he's second to Omi won't sting a little, but there haven't been any in his presence, and honestly I a) doubt there will be and b) am pretty sure he'd be able to shrug them off with a little time with Ken, reminding himself that Ken does care.
On the subject of whichearing that Ken wanted him to stay with him after camp...it helped him enormously, because it was a very visible sign that Ken cares about him and that his presence is making Ken happy. It also gives them a future beyond camp, which is important. He's...honestly never had anything to really hope for before, in canon or in camp; the closest he came was hoping things just...stayed the same. So he's ludicrously happy right now.
On the rest: bludgeoning will happen, never fear. XD
They should talk about the assassin thing IC, but uhm. I'm sort of not in any rush to ping that now that he isn't going home. We'll see if a good opportunity arises. (Ken also would flail like whoa over the sibling killing. He likes Manfred. And he's never had any siblings, but wanted them desperately, and can't imagine anyone just severing ties like that. Scary stuff.)
It's not quite equality as it is... I don't know. It's not a Fran-comes-second so much as it's an Omi-comes-first, to everyone and everything, including himself. Because he's in love and a complete woobie. There are actually a few factors contributing to this that we sort of can't do anything about. Even if he does (eventually, sorry boyfriend, it took him -how- long to figure out the Omi thing? and that was with help Francescu won't give, like kissing other people) consciously recognize that he's in love with Francescu, and they reach some sort of equality.... in any situation where Fran and Omi are in danger, he's going to panic more over Omi, between the immortality/magic. It's not that he woouldn't care or worry, it's just... tiny little human panic! You know?
......awww. I need to prod Ken to give him more visible signs, now that he's somewhat comfortable with the situation. *pokes him*
Yeah, I didn't mean anytime soon. Eventually, maybe, but...not now that they've settled. It's not something that's necessary where they're at right now. (And Fran and Manfred are trying to figure out how to avoid the fighting and killing, and they'll eventually come to the canon conclusion. So it wouldn't be "I have to kill my siblings" so much as "I grew up knowing there'd be a sibling battoru eventually, so yeah, I get killing people." Only modified for phrasing to minimize flailing.)
Yeah, I get that, and I figured that it's not something we can really affect without defeating the purpose. Ironically, it's very similar to the way Fran feels about Ken -- the dynamics of the Pyramid amuse me so much sometimes. Time will help, though, probably. (And no, Fran really won't give that kind of help; I formed the thought and he gave me the Angry Face in my head. XD) And that makes sense -- honestly, Fran would expect that, because he is immortal and has the power he does, so Omi's physical safety should be a higher priority. It's not something he worries about at all when they're in a dangerous situation.
Yeah, that would honestly help a lot. Fran...kinda needs that reassurance sometimes, because of the way his trauma buttons work.
It's been a month and things have changed, as we've discussed... the flailing when Francescu mentioned going home with him was largely fear. No one has ever been willing to give things up for him. Rather, they've cast him off, taken advantage of him, hurt and betrayed him, or had something more important to worry about. Ken doesn't feel like he's ever been anybody's priority before, and he's generally... well. Wary is a good word, but so is overwhelmed. He falls fast, but he's not good at admitting more than that. He's twitchy about PDAs. He's awkward and embarrassed and cute to us but endlessly frustrating to him. And even when he knows what he's feeling, he almost doesn't want to believe that someone could care about him that much back, and when he does accept it, he doesn't think he deserves it, and tries to rationalize why they might feel that way. He must have done something for them, or have something for them, etc etc. The only person he can honestly accept it from is Omi, because they've been through so much, and Omi's seen him. He's watched Ken kill people. He's watched Ken berserk and break down afterwards, and throw fits and wreck the shop and wake up screaming and come home drunk and... yeah. He's seen the worst and he's still around, and they've worked through the rougher patches at this point, like Omi not wanting Ken to go home and all that mess. Ken is fairly certain that if Omi can care about him after all that, he isn't going anywhere.
Francescu, on the other hand. Camp is a somewhat sterile environment for an assassin. And Francescu has seen some of the crazy, but not much, and Ken is better now, really, but he still gets... restless. Anxious. In ways that soccer with Yousuke just doesn't quite work out. So on the one hand, Ken didn't think.. still doesn't think, really, that Francescu understands what it is he does. And it adds to the fear. If Francescu followed them back to their world, and Ken wasn't killed for reappearing... he'd become an assassin again. And the thought of Francescu stuck in their world, without magic, unhappy with what he and Omi did. Well. His head spun out scenarios in which Fran began to hate him, and left, like everyone else. He'd rather Francescu hated him somewhere he could still get home from. Also, he's immortalish. Ken doesn't expect to live past 25 if he goes home. And he wasn't willing to leave his world, at that point, because Omi wanted to go home. And he wasn't going to leave Omi. So yeah, he was scared.
Also, on that point, Omi. Francescu baaaasically saying, "yes I know I come second," was bad. Bad bad bad. He doesn't deserve choices, he doesn't deserve people caring, and he certainly doesn't deserve people making sacrifices or lowering themselves in any way shape or form, for him. This is what he's believed his entire life. Stop messing with his world view, boyfriend. D:
OOC, I say mess with it more, because he needs to know that he's worth something, but. Yes. And I think I've lost track of all my ramblings, so let's jump to the next point. Since they're probably going to a different world where they won't be killing people, and he finally spit 'I love you' out to Omi and heard it back... he's feeling a little more secure, and a little less worthless, and he doesn't want to leave camp without Francescu. Romantic reasons aside, he's come to depend on his presence, and it would... really suck not being with him. He'd deal, because Fran would be along eventually, after settling family stuff, but.. it would suck. And learning that the family issues would be more of a trip out of their world than the other way around helped immensely. He's still scared of how fast it is, and the fact that Francescu is willing to go with them at all. But. Not quite as scared. More happy then scared, and hopeful, in ways he doesn't understand. OOC, I recognize this as him coming around and hating himself a little less. He needs constant bludgeoning, silly florist.
Have I rambled enough yet?
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On the assassin thing: Francescu understands it a lot better than Ken thinks. His world is really dangerous, as you've read; a lot of that danger comes from nonhumans, but a lot of it doesn't, and the nonhumans are usually intelligent and articulate. So he's very, very familiar with killing things and people which talk back. And then there's Elisabet, who's an assassin herself and one of the most...human of the siblings. And he's believed all his life that he'll have to eventually kill all his brothers and sisters...so, yeah. He shrugs it off not because he doesn't understand it, but because he honestly doesn't really see why it should bother him. They should probably talk about this ICly at some point.
On the coming-in-second thing: Francescu's hoping, honestly, that time will bring him to equality with Omi, or close to equality. He's very, very patient when he has to be, and he loves Ken enough to wait as long as it takes. And yeah, fully intends to keep messing with his worldview in that way. (And will, probably, tell Ken he loves him at some point when I allow him to time it for good effect and proper belief.) This isn't to say that obvious reminders that he's second to Omi won't sting a little, but there haven't been any in his presence, and honestly I a) doubt there will be and b) am pretty sure he'd be able to shrug them off with a little time with Ken, reminding himself that Ken does care.
On the subject of whichearing that Ken wanted him to stay with him after camp...it helped him enormously, because it was a very visible sign that Ken cares about him and that his presence is making Ken happy. It also gives them a future beyond camp, which is important. He's...honestly never had anything to really hope for before, in canon or in camp; the closest he came was hoping things just...stayed the same. So he's ludicrously happy right now.
On the rest: bludgeoning will happen, never fear. XD
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It's not quite equality as it is... I don't know. It's not a Fran-comes-second so much as it's an Omi-comes-first, to everyone and everything, including himself. Because he's in love and a complete woobie. There are actually a few factors contributing to this that we sort of can't do anything about. Even if he does (eventually, sorry boyfriend, it took him -how- long to figure out the Omi thing? and that was with help Francescu won't give, like kissing other people) consciously recognize that he's in love with Francescu, and they reach some sort of equality.... in any situation where Fran and Omi are in danger, he's going to panic more over Omi, between the immortality/magic. It's not that he woouldn't care or worry, it's just... tiny little human panic! You know?
......awww. I need to prod Ken to give him more visible signs, now that he's somewhat comfortable with the situation. *pokes him*
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Yeah, I get that, and I figured that it's not something we can really affect without defeating the purpose. Ironically, it's very similar to the way Fran feels about Ken -- the dynamics of the Pyramid amuse me so much sometimes. Time will help, though, probably. (And no, Fran really won't give that kind of help; I formed the thought and he gave me the Angry Face in my head. XD) And that makes sense -- honestly, Fran would expect that, because he is immortal and has the power he does, so Omi's physical safety should be a higher priority. It's not something he worries about at all when they're in a dangerous situation.
Yeah, that would honestly help a lot. Fran...kinda needs that reassurance sometimes, because of the way his trauma buttons work.
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