Needing time away
So tonight is my last night in Mt. P for a whole week. I'm pretty excited about it.. and about getting away and having a good time back at home with my mom and pops.. Deffintely going to miss my girlies though thats for sure.... I knwo its only a week. but i love em and haven't gotten to spend a lot of time with them lately.
So i am venting... I need time away... I need time to be alone, be me, and become happy again. The past two weeks I haven't been my true self and I haven't been the happiest camper lately. A lot of things have been going on. Like the fact that I love to be independent and I dont feel that way right now. Or the fact that I am beginning to feel somewhat smothered with things that are going on around me. I'm sure I sound like the biggest dramatic bitch right now, but i'm so independent that sometimes things get in the way, and put me in one of these moods. Not really quite sure how to change it, so I am hoping that with almost a whole week at home to myself I can do a lot of thinking. I'm use to relationships that are long distance and far fetched, ones that i dont have to check in all the time, and can still spend a lot of time with my girls... Right now, i don't feel that way. I feel like if i am not around that i will upset or hurt someones feelings.. It's summer, my girls and I are living together and want to make the boring summer that it is going to be.. out to be a great one.. Not so sure i know how to do that right now.. I care a lot about Chaz and I don't ever want to hurt him, and I'm glad that him and I had our talk tonight.. Because if we didn't i think it was just going to keep eating at me, until I didn't know what else I was suppose to say. I'm heading to work for a meeting then back here to finish packing so that when i get up tomorrrow I am ready to head out and head home after work.
Mckay--- i circle you-- thank you for listening ... i will miss u the next week..
So i am venting... I need time away... I need time to be alone, be me, and become happy again. The past two weeks I haven't been my true self and I haven't been the happiest camper lately. A lot of things have been going on. Like the fact that I love to be independent and I dont feel that way right now. Or the fact that I am beginning to feel somewhat smothered with things that are going on around me. I'm sure I sound like the biggest dramatic bitch right now, but i'm so independent that sometimes things get in the way, and put me in one of these moods. Not really quite sure how to change it, so I am hoping that with almost a whole week at home to myself I can do a lot of thinking. I'm use to relationships that are long distance and far fetched, ones that i dont have to check in all the time, and can still spend a lot of time with my girls... Right now, i don't feel that way. I feel like if i am not around that i will upset or hurt someones feelings.. It's summer, my girls and I are living together and want to make the boring summer that it is going to be.. out to be a great one.. Not so sure i know how to do that right now.. I care a lot about Chaz and I don't ever want to hurt him, and I'm glad that him and I had our talk tonight.. Because if we didn't i think it was just going to keep eating at me, until I didn't know what else I was suppose to say. I'm heading to work for a meeting then back here to finish packing so that when i get up tomorrrow I am ready to head out and head home after work.
Mckay--- i circle you-- thank you for listening ... i will miss u the next week..