uuughhh
well, yes im back.....its been forever and things have ben insane. Im cutting again....smoking pot, cigarettes.....god what has my life come to?
unfortunately, i met someone i love....and he's so far away :[
at home that party was crazy!- the one afterhomecoming-----> i got sooo drunk----> when people say that 15 shots of tequila is a lot they weren't kidding. but the police came to school yesterday to talk to me about what happened......im scared---> i mean, i think i did let them do that-----fuck, i dont know why.......but now they say that if this goes to court, they may go to jail......! If im wrong, ill look like a bitch and their lives will be ruined----> i've ruined too many lives already.
what bothers me though is that the cops seem so sure...but then they act like im crazy-as if i imagined the whole thing....
maybe i did, maybe im making all of this up--maybe im schizophrenic and im as far away from reality as possible. the only thoughts i can use to make myself feel minutely better is the fact that we are all just a mass of cells and chemical reactions and what we experience is really just elements doing their thing............
i miss sam-----i hope shes okay and that her parents know what happened to her......maybe she's in manchester----> she'd kill someone if they put her back at natchaug.
and i hope chelsea is doing okay and that they found her mom.....how long has it been---over a week she's been missing?
LIFE SUCKS
unfortunately, i met someone i love....and he's so far away :[
at home that party was crazy!- the one afterhomecoming-----> i got sooo drunk----> when people say that 15 shots of tequila is a lot they weren't kidding. but the police came to school yesterday to talk to me about what happened......im scared---> i mean, i think i did let them do that-----fuck, i dont know why.......but now they say that if this goes to court, they may go to jail......! If im wrong, ill look like a bitch and their lives will be ruined----> i've ruined too many lives already.
what bothers me though is that the cops seem so sure...but then they act like im crazy-as if i imagined the whole thing....
maybe i did, maybe im making all of this up--maybe im schizophrenic and im as far away from reality as possible. the only thoughts i can use to make myself feel minutely better is the fact that we are all just a mass of cells and chemical reactions and what we experience is really just elements doing their thing............
i miss sam-----i hope shes okay and that her parents know what happened to her......maybe she's in manchester----> she'd kill someone if they put her back at natchaug.
and i hope chelsea is doing okay and that they found her mom.....how long has it been---over a week she's been missing?
LIFE SUCKS