Mar 21, 2005 11:16
gluttonous and disasterous. your only sin is the downward decent into perfection. you manifest thoughts in your head of a blue sky and all eyes on you. to some peoples dismay it became an unwritten rule that we all must follow, if you wish for beauty you will find yourself hungry and lonly. a cool breeze will wrap around your legs until your heart freezes in a case of untouchable ice. your face will make women jealous and men wish, but your life will be as lonely as a piece of wood drifting out to an open sea. there will be no love for you, no sanctuary to rest your pretty little head. there will be only expectation, malnurishment and unhappiness. laughter will be a foreign tounge, dancing in your mind like a daunting secret. you will never know what the beating of a heart feels like, the sigh that you give when you are pleased with your life. instead your sigh will be that of a degrated and lost heart, filling the void with diets and dark rooms, while you secretly hate yourself and cant figure out why.
rest will come to you, strangely enough, when your eyes open a little wider.
I love you yet.
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empty eyes tell lies of times unspoken, and i crawled around on my hands and knees to escape the smoke. I found a path through a darkened hallway, and i imagined your room on a dark night. nothing ever seemed to be as scary or as your tireless ambition. dont waste your words on me, i know poison when it turns my thoughts against me. so kiss your thoughtless attempts goodbye, because love is not the thing i strive for. I dont waste my time seeking out the one person to fill the void, I work on uncomplicating my own riddles first. love never comes first, it comes unexpected and unwanted in my way. you fumble after others, and suck them dry of life, but im not ripe for your hunger pains. one last touch of the one who dismisses you into oblivion. one last secret to spill into your mind, one last phrase to eat at you when im gone:
desiring what never wanted you leaves you a shattered and broken person.
there are shards of you in my finger...
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tempting me with faces and words, seducing and overused. you are cunning like no other creature which has blocked my path. I have the inherent anger of a warlord and the sweet confusion of a child, yet I cannot coax the twisting in my stomach upon the mention of your name. what are the bonds that tie me to you? you couldnt let me suffer silently, you had to bring it out and paint the town with it all. paint their faces in green and red. overtaken by greed and power, you wait. you are the numbness before the burn, the achilles heel of my vessel. I do not know how to rid myself of you, the stench and taste lingers no matter how many times I wash out my mouth or plug my nose. You just dont fade...
It seems that the most unlucky of creatures has a way of connecting itself to those least deserving and relentlessly taking that which was never theirs. My intentions are not to die hating you, but to live trying to forget you...
All I need is for you to die.
thank you
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when fingers go numb, and chill takes your hands i am there with my cold eyes staring. wishing doesnt work here. trying to remove yourself doesnt work here. Gravity will not hold you down here. this is where you go when your heart no longer knows the difference between living and dead. when you no longer feel a pinprick, or a touch soft as ivory or rough as sandpaper. when night and day run together like watercolor. This is where you go when you need to be sorry, and I take care of you.
My name is misery, and I live inside all of you. I flounder in all at least once, and I own an impressive arsenal of people.
some cry me out, but i eat most alive.
no one comes out of battle with me without scars.