(no subject)
Today my liver is feeling swell.
That's enough of my one of the kind, "LIVERJOURNAL".
Anyway. When the pills that completely and safely remove the need for sleep come to mainstream market, and when they work, and are cheap- I'm gonna be one of the first to start taking them. I'm tired of these sleeping pattern problems. I'd rather do something fun/exciting/constructive than to move around in bed, in vein, only to be feeling like shit next day.
What ethical controversial questions and possible psychologial setbacks? Fuck off. =P
Oh yeah, and other thing- it seems like my mind has made me fear and hate people in the past just to cleaverly keep my negative thoughts to my self, like I've used to keep them. My unconcious mind still feels like I have no value at all- and that's why I believe others wont care, or wont listen, or that people as a default, would be hostile alien creatures.
Emotion regulation disorder is also good new name for borderline personality disorder. I sometimes overreact, and sometimes underreact to things. But yeah- this doesn't probably mean that I would be returning to PI very soon I'm afraid. Or, perhaps I will, but only to music and movie threads.
It's just too big for me, too quick, too much people. But they are mostly wonderful people.
Fuck it. It's 7 am. And even being so whacked out of my head, I feel good. Good of having courage to say things out loud. I have had a rough life, and I have right to say it out loud without the fear of rejection.
Comments are disabled this time. I dont know why. I just dont want to feel like I sometimes feel about it, like getting some pity-bites...
No, fuck that actually. That's the side of me talking that feels that I have no value. I dont know. This is just for myself. That's why I disable the comments. But still, I want people to read this, it's part of this thing. It may seem not like a big difference to the last time I wrote, but I feel like I'm thinking less of how I will appear to other people. And I think it's important. I'm starting to learn this "how to have value"-thing.
I wonder will these last 6 months of therapy be enough, enough for me to get that much on my feet that I could actually continue getting education.
That's enough of my one of the kind, "LIVERJOURNAL".
Anyway. When the pills that completely and safely remove the need for sleep come to mainstream market, and when they work, and are cheap- I'm gonna be one of the first to start taking them. I'm tired of these sleeping pattern problems. I'd rather do something fun/exciting/constructive than to move around in bed, in vein, only to be feeling like shit next day.
What ethical controversial questions and possible psychologial setbacks? Fuck off. =P
Oh yeah, and other thing- it seems like my mind has made me fear and hate people in the past just to cleaverly keep my negative thoughts to my self, like I've used to keep them. My unconcious mind still feels like I have no value at all- and that's why I believe others wont care, or wont listen, or that people as a default, would be hostile alien creatures.
Emotion regulation disorder is also good new name for borderline personality disorder. I sometimes overreact, and sometimes underreact to things. But yeah- this doesn't probably mean that I would be returning to PI very soon I'm afraid. Or, perhaps I will, but only to music and movie threads.
It's just too big for me, too quick, too much people. But they are mostly wonderful people.
Fuck it. It's 7 am. And even being so whacked out of my head, I feel good. Good of having courage to say things out loud. I have had a rough life, and I have right to say it out loud without the fear of rejection.
Comments are disabled this time. I dont know why. I just dont want to feel like I sometimes feel about it, like getting some pity-bites...
No, fuck that actually. That's the side of me talking that feels that I have no value. I dont know. This is just for myself. That's why I disable the comments. But still, I want people to read this, it's part of this thing. It may seem not like a big difference to the last time I wrote, but I feel like I'm thinking less of how I will appear to other people. And I think it's important. I'm starting to learn this "how to have value"-thing.
I wonder will these last 6 months of therapy be enough, enough for me to get that much on my feet that I could actually continue getting education.