CRABMENTALITYROLOGY 101
How To Deal With Haters?
For the big dreamers out there, I thought I would create a how-to guide on understanding the haters in your life. We all have haters, no matter what we do. I’ve had a few haters at school who are upset that my course (Occupational Therapy) gets more attention than theirs, or even some friends who liked me better when I didn’t have very much self-esteem. As your success grows, jealous people don’t die, they multiply and the hustler’s dream can become the hater’s nightmare. So, here are a few things I’ve figured out about haters, and hopefully they can be helpful to you:
1) You can’t get rid of haters, they’re everywhere.
Haters are always going to exist, no matter what you do. The easiest way to fail in life is to try to make everyone love you. There is always going to be someone who wants you to do something different from the way you’re doing it, so just know that someone is always going to hate you for achieving your goals
2) Haters are a sign of success.
Oprah Winfrey has more haters than you can imagine, primarily because she’s so great at what she does. When you rise above the fray, you naturally attract the attention of those who either envy you or find it insulting that you’re allowing your blessed light to shine. If you don’t have any haters, then you’re not doing something right. Haters become fixated on successful people the way flies are attracted to….well, you get the point. So, expect to get a few haters as you rise.
3) Haterology comes from inside the hater’s own self-perception.
Many times, people are jealous because your success reminds them of their own inadequacies. You’re on point and doing your thing, and they’re kicking themselves for not being disciplined or courageous enough to achieve their own objectives. So, when someone doesn’t respond to your good news the way you’d like, just realize that your success is probably not the problem; it’s that seeing you succeed may be hurtful.
4) Acknowledging haters only makes them stronger.
Haterology can be like a grease fire in your kitchen: the more water you put on it, the larger it grows. You can destroy haterology the same way you kill the grease fire: you smother it. By taking attention away from the hater, you help them to realize that you’re too strong or too busy to worry to about what they’re saying. Most of them eventually go away after that, at least most of mine have.
5) Haters are a test to see if you deserve your success.
Mother Nature (or God if you will) has a way of testing us to see if we deserve our success. If you let malicious words or gossip throw you off your game, then you haven’t proven yourself worthy of the throne on which you stand. If Barack Obama were to have sleepness nights because of what other people said about him, he could never be the great man that he is. The same is true for you as you fulfill your destiny.
6) Your haters may sometimes be your best friends.
My father used to say, “Keep your enemies close and your friends closer.” At first, I corrected him by saying, “Don’t you mean ‘keep your friends close and your enemies closer?’” (reciting the words used in the film, “The Godfather”) He said, “No, you have to worry about your friends, because they’re always the ones who take you down in the end.” Your biggest haters can be next door, in your office, or even sharing the same bed. Our innate desire to share every victory with our closest allies can backfire into a back-stabbing. Be careful about who you trust as you push to become successful.
7) Forgive your haters, for they know not what they do.
Show your emotional maturity by forgiving those who hate you. After you succeed for a while, they’ll eventually jump on the bandwagon and give you props like everyone else. They may, however, be secretly praying that you fail, so you’ve got to stay on point. Jealousy is a natural emotion and they may need time to work through some of their own issues, but those issues have nothing to do with you.
8) The greatest way to conquer hate is with love.
Notice that Oprah Winfrey, a woman with millions of haterologists, almost never acknowledges her haters unless she has to. Instead, she simply responds by being passionate about her role of empowering women around the world. She loves what she does so much that her desire for greatness overwhelms any force that gets in her way. You should pursue your goals with a similar amount of passion.
9) Never let haters distract you or waste your time.
Life is too short for you to spend all your time worried about what other people think. If all you’re doing is responding to critics, you can’t complete your life’s work. Deal with haters if they get in the way, but your energy should always be invested in something positive.
10) Beware of the inner haterologist.*** (Put this in your heart) :)
Sometimes the biggest hater in the world is the one we see in the mirror. There’s self-hate, in which you fill your mind with defeatist thoughts that keep you from chasing your dreams. Then, there is the part of you that gets jealous of other people when they get something that’s rightfully yours. Avoid carrying this venom in your heart, and always remember that positive energy rises, and negative energy sinks. Don’t let internal poison destroy you.
From kuya Jann Saquin