eclipse
The lunar eclipse has really made me consider some thoughts.
On the way home from Border's today i looked at the moon and it looked incredible. i love the feeling that i get when i havent paid attention to the moon in a while, and then randomly i'll look up and it will be full. tonight it looked so mysterious; it had bits of swirls around it from the clouds. I had no idea we were having a lunar eclipse yet. I found that out when i got home and logged on to road runner and there it was the front page. I also learned that we aren't having another one until 2010.
What's it going to be like in 2010? I surely won't have the same feelings as i do now, at least hopefully. Life is going to be polar opposite of what it is currently, most likely. i am not going to know the same people. I hope i don't forget all of the [good] memories made.
I don't know why, but it put me in such a depressed mood. I went out to eat with max and my brother and I didn't say much. They both automatically thought it was their faults. No, I just can't really explain it. First of all, going to school for the first day after colorado just bites. You get back into the swing of things, including hearing the latest ridiculous occurences that took place over the weekend. lovely. all of that shit made me feel awful. some girls can be so stupid. Anyway, thinking about the lunar eclipse made me ponder the next couple of years of my life. it made me feel miniscule, weak, and kind of scared of what is to come. i don't really like the "surprises" that have been coming along so far. it also made me think about all the rumors and stuff in high school, how it's all going to come to an end. why this doesn't make me ecstatic, i can't explain. i just can't believe how much stuff i've been through and heard about these past 4 years. so much has sucked, but im going to miss the "life is miserable" high school teenage routine. one day it's going to be different, i'm gonna have to be an adult. and deal with real things upfront.
i proceeded to watch the whole eclipse in my driveway, through my sunroof. it was all just a mix of positive [somewhat hopeful] and negative [anxious] thoughts.
i just butchered the explanations to why the eclipse affected me so much.
"no one reads this anyway"
♥