too bad i'm not tired.
well hey.
i'm pretty bored and i just decided to randomly write this.
so, i just found new music that i'm super excited about. matt nathanson is definitely rising on my list of favorites. and i just found him ten minutes ago. where has he been all my ife, and why was i not informed of his being?! for one, i love his style of music. it's mellow and honest and everything i love. and second, i love his lyrics. again with the honesty thing, and he explains things exactly how i've always wanted to but could never find words for. look him up & take a listen. i like his less popular songs, according to itunes, but maybe that's just me being a music snob? haha, i said i'd never be like that. but oh well.
zach is finally (even though it was only a week) back from vacation. he had some killer sunburn on his arms and shoulders, so i couldn't cuddle him much at first. but tonight we got in the cuddling that i missed while he was gone (and even before that, because he was super sick). it's so cliche to say, but the whole 'i'm-invincible-when-i'm-in-his-arms' thing is so true. i feel so safe and perfect. which he is for me. i'm guilty of doubting us when things don't go my way (i.e, when he's sick as mentioned and can't do much of anything fun and we just sit with each other, etc.), but then it's nights like tonight when the doubts are SO far from my mind. i love it. i love us. i really, really hope we last a long time.
i am also rediculously excited for going on vacation in nine days. i miss hilton head, greg russel, the lighthouse, and of course- the beach. and this year it will be even more of paradise, because zach is joining us. i am so excited for that. it's normally a strictly family-only vacation, and for it to have been my parents idea to bring him (& shade, even though he is now not going, long story), makes me very happy. i'm ready to get away from this place for a week, haha.
i'm slacking on my tan this year; it's so pathetic. the weather has not been very cooperative and my grandparents pool, where i normally spend 5 of 7 days a week, has had a bunch of problems. no more excuses- i'm getting a killer tan before the beach, no matter what!
i've realized i really, really, really wish i had more motivation to work out. it's not like i'm a heffer or anything, i just wish i was more toned. especially my humongous legs, yuck (correction, i actually love my left leg. it's still skinny from surgery because i can't build 10 years of soccer muscle back. it's mostly the right leg i wish was less huge). but i can never get myself up, find my running shoes and knee brace, and go out and do it. i guess i'm still scared it'll be painful? ...stupid ACL.
my eighteenth birthday is in 13 days. woo! i can now buy cancer sticks that i'll never touch, lottery tickets that won't get me any richer, and porn- which is just disgusting! but it will be great- i'll be at the beach with the people i love most, with the exception of my bests. but they know i wish they could be there or i could be here. lauren kay just turned eighteen, too, go us! i cannot believe i'm about to become a legal adult. i definitely don't feel like it. but hey, i'm fine with it. i can't stop time, so why harp on it going too fast? just go with the flow.
well, i believe this is the end. thanks for reading my random, wandering thoughts (: