my heart..
okay so lately ive had a lot on my mind. and ive come to realize a couple of things. people arent who i thought they were. their actions were never genuine. theyre full of crap. i will not give a boy a real opportunity to be with me. until i graduate from high school. i cannot allow a boy to bring me down, not now, not ever. boys are a waste of my time. they are nothing but trouble. i know it wrong to say but all boys are assholes. and although some are not it because they are so rare to find, we women assume they all are.
so with all these past entries i have noticed one thng. sadly its taken me a year and some change to notice this. i am stuck in a fantasy world. my head is so high in the clouds, ive begun to miss out on things i thought mattered. i was in love with a boy who gave me all i could of wanted. but i cut his time short, and part of that was my fault but not completely. and thats were my biggest flaw was, i never wanted to be realistic about the situation and realize that he hurt me. that he was a large part in me acting in the way i was. and i always, constantly blaming it on myselft, when knowing in the back of my head it wasnt completely my fault for my doing.
these past months have been a real eye opener to me. helping me to come to notice that i was just over reacting. our realtionship wasnt everything i thought it was. in fact it was nothing i would make it seem. we werent together for a long time. so then why am i so stuck on the situation so much? it is because its a sucky situation and
i wanted to move on but then i realized it was with him i wanted to move on and i got stuck in my past.....