DVD commentary: This Day Has Been Crazy (2)
"I just thought," Cara Brewer says, folding her hands atop the notepad on her desk, "that given the...sudden popularity of that photograph, you might like a chance to...set the record straight, if you'll pardon the phrase."
"Is that why I'm here instead of at lunch?" Rayn asks, shifting in his chair. The Shout editors' office feels more like a broom closet and the numerous photographs and clippings thumb-tacked to walls remind him a little of what you'd expect to see on the walls of a serial killer's shack.
Rayn, your inability to say 'no' to people is really pretty unfortunate.
"That's why I invited you here, yes," Cara says. "So shall we start?"
Rayn hesitates. "I'm still not sure what I'm supposed to be doing..."
"Why don't we start with some questions?" Cara licks her finger and turns over the first page of her notebook. She picks up her pen. "All right then-"
She's interrupted by a sudden pounding on the door. Smiling at Rayn, she clears her throat and calls, "This is a private meeting!"
The knocking continues, louder than before.
"Maybe you should get that," Rayn says. Making a sour face, Cara stands and straightens her blouse. She walks to the door to open it just a crack, and Levee Jordan pushes her way inside.
"Excuse me!" Cara exclaims, but Levee isn't interested in her.
"I heard you were in here," Levee says, grabbing ahold of Rayn's chair. He's opened his mouth to ask he what's wrong, but Levee's waving her hands wildly in Cara's direction. "Why are you talking to her? She's the one who printed the photo in the first place! She's pure attention-grubbing evil!"
"Attention-grubbing evil"? Lol, Levee and Cara are sooo melodramatic. They might as well be fighting with swords, like in the recap.
"I'm sorry," Cara says tightly. "But we're in the middle of an interview. You can't be in here."
"I can be here if Rayn wants me to be," Levee says. She fixes Rayn with a serious look. "And he should."
Rayn's still not sure what's going on, but Levee's message is pretty clear. "Um, yeah," he tells Cara, "She's my..."
"Media consultant," Levee supplies.
"Right."
Rayn decided to go with the evil he knew.
"Fine!" Cara snaps, slamming the door shut. She circles around to her desk chair again and sits down. Looking pointedly at Rayn, she asks, "Shall we continue?"
Rayn looks at Levee, but she seems to have calmed down for the moment. "Um, okay," he tells Cara.
"Now then," Cara says, picking up her pen again. "Why don't we start with your actual relationship to Mike Farrington?"
"We're friends," Rayn says.
"So you're close?" Cara asks.
"Don't answer that," Levee says.
Levee! Such a pro!
A crease appears between Cara's eyebrows for a second, but then she seems to let it go. "Okay," she says, "so it's normal for you to hold hands with your friends?"
"Sure. I mean, I don't avoid it." Rayn looks over to Levee. "Girls do it all the time right?"
"Right," Levee says.
Cara makes a note on her pad that can't be more than a squiggle. Her eyes meet Rayn's over the top of the notebook, and she slowly sets it down. "Let's get serious now," she says, clicking her pen a couple of times. "Why don't you answer the big question?"
"The big question?"
"What is your sexual orientation?"
Rayn's silent for a second, afraid to even look at Levee. "Why is that important again?" he asks.
"People want to know!" Cara exclaims. "Unlike the other members of your musical trio, you don't have much of a dating history." She looks down at a clipping on her desk you. "Jack Saddler's had a girlfriend for several months and Tony Parise"-she looks pointedly at Levee, whose lip twitches-"has had several."
I don't know how Cara knows Levee has a crush on Tony. Maybe they both spend a certain amount of time trying to get up in each other's business. Maybe they need their own spin-off.
"First off, it's really more a garage band-" Rayn starts to say.
Okay, I just have to say-for some reason I find Rayn clarifying this REALLY FUNNY. Like, see if he cares about being "mis-labeled" himself, but it's a GARAGE BAND, okay?? …IDK. This is almost certainly something that amuses only me.
"Fine, garage band." Cara waves a hand. "Are you going to answer the question?"
"I don't see why it should matter," Rayn repeats. "That is my answer. I mean, I don't see what different labeling myself for you and the school paper is going to make."
Oh, Rayn. He just hates the idea of labeling himself, period. He won't even bubble in his gender or ethnicity on standardized test forms, if he can avoid it. He likes to stay ambiguous whenever possible.
Cara looks lost for a second, then turns back to her notepad and starts scribbling.
Levee grabs Rayn's elbow and yanks. "Hang on, Superstar," she says, all but pulling him out of the chair. "We need to chat."
There's not much room in the "office," but Levee crowds him into the corner furthest from Cara.
"What kind of answer was that?" Levee demands. "She's just going to find some way to twist it. Just tell her you're straight and leave it at that."
Rayn shakes his head. "If I tell her that, I'm making it an issue, right?" he whispers. "And then I'm hanging Mike out to dry, right?"
Aww, okay, there's that too.
"No, no, it's okay. No one cares enough about Mike for it to-"
"I care," Rayn says.
Levee shuts her eyes. "I will bet you anything," she says slowly, "that after your so-called 'answer' she wrote the word 'bisexual,' down on that notepad."
I suppose that's basically the same as "I don't see why it should matter."
"No..." Rayn frowns, peering over Levee's shoulder. "Really?"
"I know her, Rayn-she's only trying to create drama! She doesn't care what happens to either of you!"
"And you do?" It's ridiculous, but Rayn tries his best not to laugh. He wonders if Levee can see the irony. "Do you and Cara have, like, a long-standing grudge left over from lower school? From when she pushed you in the sandbox or something?"
Levee narrows her eyes. "Maybe. But that's not the point."
Cara clears her throat behind them. She's standing up now too. "This has been fun, really," she says to Levee, "But why don't you let me talk to Rayn alone now?"
"You're saying it wrong," Levee says, "It's not Rain like the weather, it's Ray-yen." She holds up two fingers. "Two syllables."
"It's okay," Rayn says quickly, "No one says it right."
"She's a reporter," Levee snaps, "she should know better."
Oh God, this part. In retrospect, I really wish I had come up with something else for Levee to pedantic about because I feel like a lot of my readers thought I was directing a pronunciation lesson at them. Not my intention!
I don't think I even enunciate the syllables every time I say it out loud…you can hear me saying it a few times in the recap and judge for yourself. Matthew, of course, made the effort…only to be cut off by me going "YOU DON'T HAVE TO SAY IT LIKE THAT!"
The only people who say Rayn's name like that are: Rayn, his mom, his sister, and Levee being pedantic (so, even Mike and Darcy say it 'wrong'). I mean, the truth is that if you say it that way fast enough it just sounds like "Rain" anyway. I'm sorry guys, keep saying "Rain" to your hearts' contents. Just don't say "Ryan" ;)
Cara grits her teeth. "I'll make a note of that. Thank you, Elizabeth."
Levee's jaw drops, and as she balls her hands into fists, Rayn realizes he has a second to get between them before things get serious. With a certain amount of difficulty, he manages to wrestle Levee away from Cara's desk.
Exaggerated for comic effect. Saying Levee's real name will often get you a glare, but not physical violence, come on.
"Maybe we should go?" Rayn asks, keeping his grip on Levee's shoulders.
Cara nods, her death-glare still fixed on Levee. "Yes. I believe I have what I need for the story."
That's when Levee starts shaking, and for a second, Rayn's afraid she's totally lost it. She's...laughing. "Don't bother with the story," Levee manages to choke out. "You're getting scooped!"
This…is kind of a weird moment to bring this up, right? I think I'd planned it, like…Levee originally was going to come by to tell Cara about/gloat about the TV piece and then decided to sit in on her attempt to interview Rayn when she found him in the office. Still, the timing feels off to me.
Cara's mouth drops open. "What?"
Levee wipes her eyes. "That's right. Another one of your editors let you get scooped. Caitlyn Luery's mother works for the local news. And you'll never guess what her darling daughter forwarded her this morning..."
"You're lying!" Cara says.
"Please, tell us you're lying," Rayn agrees.
"Nope." Levee sniffs, her composure returning. "I couldn't make something like that up. Guess it's been a slow news day-they're looking to do a piece on tonight's program." She imitates a voice-over: "Viewpoint: A Gay-Friendly High School?"
Cara's expression turns from one of horror to one of pleasant surprise. "My photo's going to be on the news?" she asks. "Do you think they'll want to talk to me?"
Rayn turns back to Levee, feeling suddenly ill "You're right," he says. "She is evil."
Levee nods. "Now you're sorry you doubted me, right?"
* * *
"What I don't understand," Tony says, "is how everyone looking at this photo from a a band event of a member of our band and it's done absolutely nothing for our public exposure."
"But that's a good thing," Jack says. "I don't want any public exposure."
"See..." Tony shakes his head. "That kind of attitude from our lead guitarist is exactly why we just barely placed in last week's competition."
"We came in third out of four bands ," Jack says. "The band we beat had two accordions. Two accordions." In case Tony has missed the point, he adds, "We suck."
"Maybe we should start looking for an actual drummer again? I'm sure I could contribute a lot more as a second guitar, or electric keyboard, or-"
"Don't say accordion."
Tony frowns.
Damn, it took a long time for Tony to surface, considering we opened with him in the flash forward. And Jack's still acting a little off.
They both look up when the side door to the music room annex swings open and Levee stomps inside.
"What's up?" Tony asks.
She drops her bag onto the floor and plops down in one of the chairs. "Nothing. You guys having a meeting or something?"
"I was just telling Jack," Tony says, "that when life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade."
"He wasn't actually telling me that," Jack says.
Jack's pretty literal-minded.
Levee braces her foot against the table, rocking back in her chair so the front legs lift up off the carpet. "You're trying to figure out how this whole photo scandal could generate some buzz about your band."
"How the hell did she do that?" Jack asks, but Tony ignores him.
"The local news is coming here after school's out, right?" Tony says. "We could at least drop our name or something, come on."
"Don't look at me," Jack says. "I have soccer practice."
Levee clears her throat loudly. "I've got a better idea."
"Shoot," said Tony.
"Well we might get a couple of reporters on this," Levee says, "But it's really not much of a story, right? They'll come, ask some random students some inane questions and then run off to cover some stupid animal story like Roll over, Picasso, cause this pup can paint!."
Credit where credit is due: James (my husband) was the one who provided the "Roll over, Picasso" which quickly became everyone's favorite line ;)
"A painting dog?" For a second, Tony looks delighted. Then he composes himself. "What's your point?"
"My point is," Levee says, "If you want to get their attention, just wait until they get here. And then give them a bigger story. A better story."
"A...gayer story?" Tony posits, stroking his chin.
"Sure," Levee says. "Whatever."
Jack looks uncomfortable. "Where is Rayn anyway? Doesn't he have this period free?"
"Oh," Levee says, "he and Mike got called into the principal's office. You didn't hear that on the PA?"
"No! " Tony says. "Are they in trouble or something?"
"Don't worry about that," Levee says. "Let's focus on rounding up all the amps and extension cords we can before next period starts."
"Wow!" Tony says. "We have a plan already?"
Here's another TV trope for you, which will come as no surprise: Levee is a High School Hustler.
* * *
It just would be the case, Rayn thinks, that his first chance to see Mike since that morning would be in the principal's office.
One of my favorite things about this piece is how, for the most part, each scene has a different set of characters over the course of the day-it kept things from getting repetitive. I tried to come up with justifications that would make this believable-like Mike and Rayn didn't intentionally avoid each other all day, that's just how things shook out.
With his hands folded atop his desk, the principal seems to be trying his best to look at both of them without making any real eye contact. "Due to the...extensive distribution of the photograph in question, it would seem you two have managed to attract some unexpected attention to the school."
"Wait," Rayn says, "you don't think we had anything to do with sending it out, right?"
"We're not trying to blame anyone. Nevertheless, we'd like to minimize further exposure, if possible." Adjusting his tie, the principal continues. "We've been informed that a group of...activists are threatening to picket the school."
"Activists?" Mike asks.
The principal looks uncomfortable. "Activists...of the fundamentalist variety."
"Oh," Mike says.
Rayn buries his face in his hands.
"Now I don't know what's actually going on between you boys and I certainly don't care to." (I always read this as "Don't care" lol. If only!) The principal clears his throat. "But as far as the school is involved, we can't afford, at this time, to come down on either side of the issue."
Recall in the recap, Matthew remembered this meeting as the principal telling them "You need to not be gay in public!" This may have been one of my favorite parts of the recap XD
That hangs in the air for a second.
"What issue?" Mike asks suddenly. Rayn's head jerks up.
The principal looks confused. "I'm sorry?"
"What's the issue?" Mike asks. "Excuse me if I'm mistaken, but if the issue is whether or not this school is an open-minded community, that's not something the administration gets to decide. I'm not trying to be disrespectful, but without an official policy, isn't that something that lies with the students and faculty-you know, the community as a whole?"
Lol, this is such a Mike thing to say. ("Mike, you are the HRC of people!") He's pretty much taking a non-stance here-he could have gone the extra distance and actually stood up for himself, but he didn't. So he just wins points for articulating it well. Even if he didn't use the word bemused.
"Well, yes." The principal says. He removes his glasses to clean them with his handkerchief. "Yes. That's-" Before the principal can finish the thought, the intercom on this desk starts to buzz. He apologizes quickly, then punches the button. "Yes, Morgan?"
I remember deliberately giving the secretary a non-gender-specific name. Let's say it's a dude.
"Sir, there's another call for the school you might want to take..." the secretary's voice crackles, hanging ominous in the air.
With a sigh, the principal rises to his feet. "I'll be right back," he tells them. Rayn watches the principal leave, closing the door exactly half-way as he steps into the office lobby.
He turns to Mike, impressed. "That was a good point."
Mike smiles. "I almost sounded like you for a second there, right?"
"Don't sell yourself short." Rayn shakes his head. "I wouldn't have thought of it."
"Well...normally you wouldn't have to." Mike looked down at his hands, picking at his thumbnail. "Um...Levee told me you won't tell anyone that you're straight. Cause you didn't want to 'hang me out to dry,' right?"
"I might have said that."
"Thanks," Mike says. "That was really nice of you. And completely unnecessary."
Before Rayn has a chance to respond, the office door swings open again and the principal is back.
"Good news, gentlemen," he says, taking a seat behind his desk again. "About the protest."
"They're not going to picket?" Rayn asks.
"Oh no, they're going to picket. But we've taken the opportunity to also invite a counter-protest group onto the campus."
Lol, WOW! I laughed rereading this, because there is something NOT RIGHT about this line. We get what he means (right?) but why oh why would he describe them as a "counter-protest" group? Like they're this group that you call when you want the other side represented at a protest and they make signs and roll on over? Obvs he's not going to say something like "pro gay crowd," but he could say "diversity supporting" or something similarly inane-sounding. Or maybe I'll just change it to "group to counter-protest," idk.
Rayn and Mike exchange a look of silent disbelief.
"Didn't you say you wanted to limit exposure?" Rayn asks finally. "Won't that just call more attention to the whole thing?"
The principal takes off his glasses again, uses them to gesture to Mike. "Well...your friend here is right. To be truly impartial, it's only fair that we allow both sides of the community the opportunity to express their opinions."
"Did I say that?" Mike asks, the color draining from his face.
I think the principal just heard the "community as a whole" part. It's possible he was distracted by a bit of fluff.
* * *
"Well," Rayn says, as they're leaving the principal's office. "I was wrong. About this not being a big deal I mean."
"I keep expecting to wake up." Mike says, catching the door for him. "It's like everyone's gone legit crazy."
Rayn isn't sure whether to smile or grimace. "I noticed you stopped apologizing, at least."
Mike nods. He's taken a few steps away from the door but he stops now, turns back around. "It stopped feeling like it might be my fault quite a while ago."
"Yeah," Rayn says. "There's our silver lining."
Mike laughs. "So what're you doing after school?
"Soccer practice."
"That'll be fun."
"Yeah, I thought so. At least I'll probably miss the protest."
"I was thinking of checking that out," Mike says. "I've never had a whole group of people hurling insults at me before. It should be an interesting experience."
Haha, this is like prototypical Mike. He's having an Eeyore moment.
"I can't tell if you're kidding or not."
"Yeah, me neither." Mike rubs at his eyes, tilts his head down the hall. "I better go. Class."
Nodding, Rayn points in the other direction. "Me too. See you later?"
Mike lifts a hand to wave, then hesitates. "Um, hey," he says, the words careful like he's trying not to swallow them.
"Yeah?"
"The next time you get the urge to hold my hand, make sure there aren't any cameras."
That was oddly saucy.
Feeling his face grow warm, Rayn offers a mock salute. "Can do."
* * *
"So that's what the anti-gay lobby looks like," Darcy says, as they peek around the corner of the gymnasium. She wrinkles her nose. "They look so...normal."
Peering over Darcy's head, Mike gets his first look at the group of protesters crowding the parking lot.
"Oh my God!" Darcy cries suddenly, "Look at that sign!"
Mike raises an eyebrow, reading off the nearest piece of poster-board. "Don't pervert our youth?" Or rather..."DON'T PREVERT OUR YOUTH." That's just embarrassing.
I believe I came up with "Don't Pervert Our Youth" because I thought it was funny. James insisted on the misspelling which he thought was funny. We're quite the comedy duo over here.
"No, dummy," Darcy smacks his shoulder, her other hand gesturing wildly towards the signs. "The other one! Shame on Viewpoint! Wouldn't that look awesome on my wall?"
"I guess?" He feels Darcy's hand give his arm a quick squeeze before she slips her other backpack strap over her shoulder and starts to head around the corner.
"I'm going to go get it," she says. "You should make a run for your car while I'm distracting them."
"Um..." Mike scans the parking lot, but it doesn't look like there's a safe route to get to his car. He's about to tell Darcy not to bother, but before he can catch her, she's already jogging towards the protesters.
"Hey!" he hears her call. "Can I have your sign? I'll give you five dollars for it! No? Ten dollars? Can I at least hold it? Why can't I hold it? Is this not America?"
Darcy: fortunately back to being great!
Mike looks back across the parking lot. His car is still flanked by both brands of protesters. How could these people have so effectively boxed it in?
Edging along the gymnasium's wall, he holds his breath, crossing his finger that he can at least make it out of the parking lot, maybe come back later for the car when things calm down. From this side of the building, he can see the second set of signs more clearly. HONOR DIVERSITY, OPEN MINDS/OPEN HEARTS, TEACH TOLERANCE...
...oddly enough, those are almost just as annoying.
I remember when I was writing this, it was important to me that both sides be kinda obnoxious. It's easy to make straw-men of the opposition and have the Teach-Tolerance side come off as the good guys, and-even though it's obvious who I'd side with-I wanted to avoid that, because it wasn't the point of the story. This is a story about over-reacting!! It works well that we're in Mike's head, because he's not very impressed by protesters, even if they're on his side.
Rayn would probably feel that he should join the Teach-Tolerance folks and spend the next hour helping them yell at the fundies (causing more of a scene!), so it's a good thing he just went to soccer practice.
Even more unfortunately, Mike realizes, stopping to read them was a bad idea. The woman holding "HONOR DIVERSITY" has turned to look at him and as her eyes go wide in recognition, Mike realizes she's about to yell.
"Hey! It's the other guy from the photo!"
"Hey, other guy! Come talk to us!"
So, Mike is a main character in the story…and a supporting character in his own life.
Mike tries to wave them away but it isn't working; the yelling has already attracted the attention of the other protest group. Darcy's demands for a sign are quickly drowned out by what sounds like....booing...and Mike figures, fuck it, time to make a run for the car. Holding his hands over his ears, he runs past the first group of protestors-who still seem to want to talk to him-and has almost made it through the fray when the other group moves to block his path. When he turns to cut a new path, the woman shaking "HONOR DIVERSITY" is back in his way and that's when he realizes he's completely surrounded.
Then a car horn blares and, for a second, the crowd starts to part. (Tech note #2: Priuses [at this time, anyway] are silent under 5 mph. TRICKY CAR.) Mike's turning to make a dash for it, when he sees the red Prius, skidding to a stop just shy of the man holding "DON'T PREVERT OUR YOUTH."
"Hey!" Lonnie leans out the car window, desperately gesturing to Mike. "Get in the car! Get in!"
Mike does.
I sort of like this bit as an action sequence.
After peeling out the parking lot, Lonnie keeps his foot firmly planted on the gas until the school disappears behind him. Out the back window, Mike catches one last fleeting glimpse of Darcy making a grab for her favorite sign, and then she's gone.
He turns back around in his seat, fumbling to fasten the safety belt. His heart still feels like it's pounding out of his chest, and even though he knows they're out of the fray, he doesn't feel safe yet. "Where are we going?"
Lonnie's hands are clamped tightly around the steering wheel and he's staring straight ahead down the road. "I have," he says, "a plan. Hold on."
* * *
"Oh here we are," Lonnie says suddenly, then he's jerking the steering wheel to the right and the car's blowing through an open barricade, across a bike trail...
Mike holds onto the panic-handle as the car lumbers down a dirt road embankment towards a flattened lot, just above the river.
"Where are we?" he asks.
"Somewhere quiet," Lonnie says. He checks his rear view mirror. "Doesn't look like we were followed." He laughs suddenly, like he's embarrassed to have even mentioned it. "I mean, of course not. That would be ridiculous right?"
"This whole thing is ridiculous," Mike says. He rubs his eyes with his fingers and stares out Lonnie's dirty windshield towards the river, the patch of trees almost blocking the view. "Is this a defunct park or something?"
"It used to be...a boy scout camp."
"You were in the boy scouts?"
"I don't like to talk about it."
Mike laughs. It feels natural; he thinks he's finally starting to calm down. "Uh, thanks for saving me from...you know. That was pretty cool. Prius ex-machina."
That joke may have been wasted on Lonnie. AT LEAST YOU GUYS APPRECIATED IT ♥
"Yeah, well." Lonnie shrugs, unfastening his seat belt. "It looked like it was about to get really bad out there. And I think I'm done being pissed at you."
Mike unfastens his seat belt too and moves his hand to the door handle. Then he glances back at Lonnie.
"What?" Lonnie asks.
Wordlessly, Mike reaches across Lonnie to press a button on the driver's side door; Lonnie's seat begins a slow automated crawl backwards. Before he has a chance to reconsider, Mike climbs over the center console to wedge himself between Lonnie and the steering wheel. Grabbing ahold of Lonnie's collar, he presses their lips together.
Then pulls back for a second, waiting for the stupidity of that decision to hit him.
Somehow it doesn't.
Lonnie adjusts his position, moving a hand to Mike's shoulder. "Hey, what's this all about?"
Mike rests a thumb against Lonnie's mouth. "This day has been crazy," he says.
Hey, that's the name of the show piece! IDK, it seemed as good a reason as any to get them back together. I think any upset in Mike's routine causes him to make some weird decisions (such as rodeo clowning…and figure modeling…) And this way, Lonnie got to do something heroic.
That should be explanation enough, but when he leans in to kiss Lonnie again, the hand on his shoulder stops him.
"Wait," Lonnie says, "just so we're clear, does this mean you want to get back together?"
"We'll see," Mike says.
"Cause if not, you're acting kind of slutty. Just so you know."
"Shut up."
* * *
Rayn checks his watch. After taking the long way around the safe side of the gymnasium, he's running late for soccer practice.
I'm just gonna say it: This next part is extremely silly. Again, I included it because I liked the visual of everyone lined up with their soccer balls. If this were an episode of a TV show and there were a teaser for it, it would include this part. And also Mike being surrounded by the protestors. And everyone looking at Tony on the roof. Okay, I'm done imagining that now.
By the time he makes it out to the field, the team is already lined up with soccer balls. When they turn to face him, his stomach lurches.
"Um..." Rayn says, lifting his hands instinctively towards his face. "What's going on?"
As he looks from Jack to Darren to Alex, there's a beat of silence.
"Oh, hey, Rayn," Jack says finally.
Then Darren and Alex exchange a glance and laugh.
"Wait," Alex says, "You didn't think we were gonna pelt you with soccer balls, did you?"
Rayn isn't sure how to respond to that.
"Oh, no way," Darren says. "We were just giving you a hard time about the whole photo thing. We like you. You can actually kind of kick."
Oh, I just realized this is the same guy who made that Amsterdam joke earlier.
"We were going to kick soccer balls at Jonathon Pitman!" Adam supplies, from the far side of the line-up. "Cause he keeps falling asleep in the goal! But he probably fell asleep in the locker room or something because he's not here yet."
Rayn is way too exhausted to come up with any sort of response to that.
"Whoa!" Darren says suddenly. When everyone turns to look, he lifts a hand to point to the top of the gymnasium. "Is there someone on the roof?"
Jack drops his soccer ball, mouth hanging open. "They're actually going through with it?"
* * *
By the time Levee reappears in front of the school, the news crew is already rolling.
"Did I miss anything?" she asks, joining Darcy by the edge of the crowd.
"Um, police showed up to separate the protesters."
"Yeah, I saw that."
"Where've you been anyway?" Darcy asks, turning her attention away from the scene. She does a double-take at Levee. "Wait, did you change your clothes?"
I drew Levee in the recap in pretty much what I figured she was wearing-this sleeveless purple dress over a t-shirt and pants. Look, it's the early 2000s, layering is in (okay, maybe not ~in~, but…). Anyway, she's just wearing the t-shirt and pants now. Don't you feel enlightened now, knowing this very important detail?
Levee waves it away, pointing instead to the reporter planted squarely in front of the school entrance. "I want to hear what she's saying."
What she's saying, Levee soon learns, once Darcy's stopped asking her questions, is even more inane than what Levee was expecting
"-on the scene at Viewpoint High School, where a photograph that's been circulating since this morning has created community controversy-"
Okay, yawn. Levee tunes out again, turns back to Darcy.
Yeah, I didn't feel like writing that part.
"You want to give me a hand with something?" she asks.
"With what?"
Grabbing hold of Darcy's arm, Levee begins to drag her towards the news crew. "Just follow my lead."
Their timing is perfect. They cross behind the cameras just as the reporter's looking for "opinions from the student body." Levee raises her hand, and she and Darcy are quickly motioned over.
"So tell us," the reporter asks, holding the microphone up to Levee. "As students of Viewpoint, how do you feel about this situation?"
"Right," Levee says, leaning close to the mic, "about the photograph. I just have to say, holding hands is just disgusting. It's an unnatural and unnecessary form of physical affection and the world would be a better place if we just refrained from touching each other."
"Yeah!" Darcy pipes, sounding convincingly indignant, "and think how many diseases are spread that way. I mean, do you ever really know where someone else's hand have been?" She turns to face the camera. "No."
THESE TWO ARE SUCH CHAMPIONS. This is still one of my favorite parts.
"Also," Levee says, all but jerking the mic from the reporter's hand. Then her face changes. She points suddenly towards the gymnasium, mouth agape. "OH MY GOD, THERE'S A GUY ON THE ROOF OF THE GYM!"
"OH MY GOD, SHE'S RIGHT!" Darcy shrieks, without even looking. "IS HE GOING TO JUMP?"
Grabbing hold of Darcy again, Levee yanks her out of camera range, and is pleased to see that the entire crowd has shifted their focus to their focus to the figure on top of the building. A few people gasp, a lot more start pointing and the reporter stares blankly and silently as the cameras swing towards the gym.
Once they remember they're being recorded, the crowd gets a lot more vocal.
"Oh my God!"
"Are you guys seeing this?"
"How'd he get up there?"
"Is he wearing a dress?"
"Come, quick! Over here-look!"
Rejoining the crowd in the parking lot, Darcy peers over heads, squinting beneath the shade of her hand. Backlit by the afternoon sun, a lone figure stands on the roof of the gymnasium, an electric guitar in his hands and the lacy hem of his skirt flapping in the breeze. "So..." she says, "That's Tony, right?"
"Yeah," Levee says, leaning back against the nearest car. "And that's my dress."
I believe Tony's copping her style by also wearing it over his jeans and t-shirt.
"I thought it looked familiar," Darcy says, but the end of sentiment is drowned out by the sudden sounding of a power chord.
"ARE YOU READY FOR THIS?" Tony's voice demands, booming from their custom speaker set-up. Levee nods, mostly to herself, as Tony strums the opening chords and launches full force into the song. "I KNOW YOU LOVE ME / OR SO IT WOULD SEEM / BUT I'VE NEVER BEEN A KING, I'VE ALWAYS BEEN A QUEEN-"
"'More effeminate than you'," Darcy says. She nods. "Nice choice. Appropriate."
"It was gayest song we could come up with on such short notice."
I don't even know why it wound up being this Robin Black song. It did seem appropriate. And would have actually been out at the time the story was set! (Unlike, say, smart phones).
I don't know if I've just been looking in the wrong places, but there seems to be lot of good queer girl music and a dearth of queer guy music (note, this isn't actually a gay song). Doll by Kevin Cahoon & Ghetto Cowboy might have worked, but not as well.
Okay, one final note on music: I was very happy to close the recap video with a verse from I Don't Wanna Be a Homosexual by Sloppy Seconds (which opens with some audio from Female Trouble, to warn you-has anyone else seen that movie??). It isn't really story-appropriate, but I thought it would be amusing.
"Aw, you should have asked me! I could hook you up with some queercore."
"Actually," Levee says, "I think this'll work out just fine."
Darcy is quiet for a couple of seconds, nodding her head to Tony's cover.
"For the first time today," Darcy says finally, "I'm actually looking forward to where this is headed."
* * *
Coming up on News13, a protest at a local high school is interrupted by a cross-dressing musician. His strange, rooftop performance, after the break.
Also, after the break: Roll over, Picasso! Because this pup can paint!
FIN
Is that all? Phew! I don't think I have much else to say, so I'm going to ramble for a sec about a related idea.
Since writing this, I've had an idea in the back of my mind to write a story about the Battle of the Bands event the year AFTER this story takes place. And to have that story top this one in terms of action/absurdity ("a…gayer story?"). Tony's cross-dressing stunt does generate a certain amount of buzz for the band (which is called ADD…can't remember if I mentioned that), but they quickly realize they're now mostly well-known for "being gay and wearing dresses." So in his usual way of making lemons into lemonade, Tony decides they should try to capitalize on this image. …Yeah, only good can come of that, right? Also there's this subplot involving Darcy and an un-mailed chain letter and WHOOPS, MAYBE THE END OF THE WORLD? But it's okay, the actual chances of the apocalypse are…slim. And no one else has time to worry about that, because they're too busy with things like…writing an original song! Interviewing for colleges! Being blackmailed by another band! Perfecting eye makeup techniques! Also, this time Levee has a video camera.
Please, harass me to write that sometime, guys. I'm pretty sure, it's the only way I can ever top this piece.
Anyway, I hope you enjoyed my ENDLESS RAMBLING :D I certainly enjoyed it.