Define friendship. Can it be defined?
Friendship is an odd thing. I cannot remember my first friend, though my mother can. She was one of ten children who lived in a small village in Samoa. We played together on the swing set a lot; my sister was newly born and I was lonely, not having my mother's undivided attention. At any rate, she was a constant in my life for a time, and then she simply disappeared. She was imaginary, see, and when there was a flesh and blood person to take her place, my friend moved on to another little girl -- or boy -- who needed a companion.
I cannot remember my second friend, or my third. I doubt I could even come up with a number for you of how many people I have considered to be friends in my lifetime. They have come from all walks of life, from many different races, religions and creeds. There have been some I had everything in common with, and others with whom there was only the vaguest commonality to bind us. And yet I have considered them to be my friends.
A friend is defined as:
• A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.
• A person whom one knows; an acquaintance.
• A person with whom one is allied in a struggle or cause; a comrade.
• One who supports, sympathizes with, or patronizes a group, cause, or movement
We all have people in our lives who fit into each of those categories. For some, that bond goes even deeper, and involves the L word. Love. It makes the world go round, supposedly, or at least that is what the song says. There are supposedly rules to friendship, and rules to love, but exactly what those boundaries are depends on the people involved. And sometimes those friendships, bound together by 'love' unravel. Does this mean that everything that was shared up to that point was meaningless?
I suppose that would depend, again, on the people involved. If there is just one lesson I have carried over from childhood, it is this: people come and go. Some stay for a long while, others are there for just a fraction of a moment, but every single person we have contact with over the course of our lives has a hand in shaping us into the individuals we are at this given moment.
So, the unknowing individual might ask, what prompted this look into the way my brain works? The loss or irreparable damage of friendships as instigated by a decision in Walpurgis Night has led to a great deal of wank lately, and I have refused to get involved in any of it in anyone else's journal. Everyone is entitled to their opinions, no matter how cutting, harsh or even cruel they can be. I will not pretend that I am not irritated by much of it because I have been. It would be nice not to have to deal with being scolded, with veiled and not so veiled sarcasm, with venting individuals, ad nauseum, but alas, someone stuck one of those damned Energizer batteries into this.
Like I said, everyone is entitled to their opinion, so here is mine: if there was a problem, it truly was not that difficult to IM or email the mods, or anyone else in the game to scream/yell/rant/vent before going ahead and basically throwing down the gauntlet. Live Journal is a public forum unless the post is locked. People are going to invade other people's spaces, unfortunately. Personally, I disagree with that sort of behaviour, but I have seen it many a time here, and it will likely happen again in the future. A post as inflammatory as the one that started this mess was a fight waiting to happen. And it did. Now there are hurt feelings everywhere, and to what purpose? In the end, after all the angry words exchanged, does it truly change anything?
There are ups and downs to every relationship, whether it is one of blood or choice. Perhaps I am unusual here in thinking that if a person is unhappy about a situation that they should assert themselves directly to the person(s) they take issue with. Perhaps I am unusual in thinking that relationships need discord at times in order to grow stronger and deeper.
I honestly do not care at this point who has friended or defriended my journal over this entire wankfest. I would have hoped that friendship could transcend any such thing as game drama, but if it cannot, if it hinged solely on those connections, then so be it. You have touched my life, and it is richer because of your presence in it, however long or brief. Thank you and have a good life. And to everyone else, near and far, that L word? I never use it lightly. If you are on my Flist, then I love you. It is as simple and as complicated as that.
I cannot remember my second friend, or my third. I doubt I could even come up with a number for you of how many people I have considered to be friends in my lifetime. They have come from all walks of life, from many different races, religions and creeds. There have been some I had everything in common with, and others with whom there was only the vaguest commonality to bind us. And yet I have considered them to be my friends.
A friend is defined as:
• A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.
• A person whom one knows; an acquaintance.
• A person with whom one is allied in a struggle or cause; a comrade.
• One who supports, sympathizes with, or patronizes a group, cause, or movement
We all have people in our lives who fit into each of those categories. For some, that bond goes even deeper, and involves the L word. Love. It makes the world go round, supposedly, or at least that is what the song says. There are supposedly rules to friendship, and rules to love, but exactly what those boundaries are depends on the people involved. And sometimes those friendships, bound together by 'love' unravel. Does this mean that everything that was shared up to that point was meaningless?
I suppose that would depend, again, on the people involved. If there is just one lesson I have carried over from childhood, it is this: people come and go. Some stay for a long while, others are there for just a fraction of a moment, but every single person we have contact with over the course of our lives has a hand in shaping us into the individuals we are at this given moment.
So, the unknowing individual might ask, what prompted this look into the way my brain works? The loss or irreparable damage of friendships as instigated by a decision in Walpurgis Night has led to a great deal of wank lately, and I have refused to get involved in any of it in anyone else's journal. Everyone is entitled to their opinions, no matter how cutting, harsh or even cruel they can be. I will not pretend that I am not irritated by much of it because I have been. It would be nice not to have to deal with being scolded, with veiled and not so veiled sarcasm, with venting individuals, ad nauseum, but alas, someone stuck one of those damned Energizer batteries into this.
Like I said, everyone is entitled to their opinion, so here is mine: if there was a problem, it truly was not that difficult to IM or email the mods, or anyone else in the game to scream/yell/rant/vent before going ahead and basically throwing down the gauntlet. Live Journal is a public forum unless the post is locked. People are going to invade other people's spaces, unfortunately. Personally, I disagree with that sort of behaviour, but I have seen it many a time here, and it will likely happen again in the future. A post as inflammatory as the one that started this mess was a fight waiting to happen. And it did. Now there are hurt feelings everywhere, and to what purpose? In the end, after all the angry words exchanged, does it truly change anything?
There are ups and downs to every relationship, whether it is one of blood or choice. Perhaps I am unusual here in thinking that if a person is unhappy about a situation that they should assert themselves directly to the person(s) they take issue with. Perhaps I am unusual in thinking that relationships need discord at times in order to grow stronger and deeper.
I honestly do not care at this point who has friended or defriended my journal over this entire wankfest. I would have hoped that friendship could transcend any such thing as game drama, but if it cannot, if it hinged solely on those connections, then so be it. You have touched my life, and it is richer because of your presence in it, however long or brief. Thank you and have a good life. And to everyone else, near and far, that L word? I never use it lightly. If you are on my Flist, then I love you. It is as simple and as complicated as that.