Challenge 88: Zombie Apocalypse
Title: Just Another Day in the Zombie Apocalypse
Rating/Warnings: PG-13
Characters: Harry Potter, Severus Snape, and Dudley Dursley
Summary: If anyone had ever told Harry that one day he would run down Privet Drive with Snape and Dudley to get away from an angry zombie horde he would have looked blankly at them and ask them exactly how much time they spent with Trelawny and if she laced her teacups with LSD.
Word Count: 1,216
Author's Notes: I spent all thirty minutes writing and no time editing. Although I'm seriously considering taking this over to sugarquill and doing a fairly long story. Zombies are fun.
Registered purchases?: Nope.
Harry had always imagined a wide array of situations during the times he had been locked in his cupboard. His rescue situations ranged from teleporting aliens to benign wizards and even to pirates somehow sneaking their way in and taking him away. He supposed the only reason he had never even thought about zombies plaguing the earth was because the zombie craze of the muggle world had never been quite so predominant during his generation. In fact, the obsession over zombie survival tactics didn't take place until he was well into Hogwarts.
It was Dudley, Dudley, surprisingly enough, who was currently doing better than any wizard in keeping both Harry and his potions professor alive in the zombie apocalypse. It turned out, that while the zombie craze had been kept far from the Wizarding world, only mentioned once in awhile as 'inferi', Dudley had latched onto every bloody and gory zombie movie, comic book, tv-show, and as he once let slip, even in a book. He also promised that Harry would find his head stuffed in a toilet should he ever let that slip to Piers. Wherever Piers was.
Harry had never envisioned zombies. He also had never envisioned being on the run with both Dudley and Snape. He had been separated from Ron and Hermione almost a year ago. He didn't know what happened to them. The rest of Hogwarts, the rest of the Wizarding world, none of them knew. They had all been at the Dursleys’ when they first heard the news. That had been a very uncomfortable almost one year and they were making a full circle back to the only 'home' Harry had known before Hogwarts.
Harry regretted that Dudley had to go back to Privet Drive. That was when Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon were quickly made into zombies themselves. It had been a horrid sight and Harry didn't know how they would deal should they come upon them again. There was a strange sort of hope in Harry's chest. Most likely strange because he had started getting used to living without hope. The acerbic potions professor had little hope stored up in his supply and more than a thousand negative comments that he continuously dealt out to both the boys. If times hadn't been so dire, Harry would have been thrilled to see his cousin's face twist into shame and embarrassment. Instead, he cringed whenever Snape sent another caustic remark towards Dudley. He wasn't certain for how long Dudley could handle it and truth be told, he needed, THEY needed Dudley. He couldn't always remember all the information to destroy or slow the zombies down, but he worked brilliantly under pressure and would suddenly belt out some of the most ridiculous sounding information that would inexplicably save their rear ends.
Harry sucked in a deep breath and nodded to Snape and Dudley. "It's that way," he said gesturing. Snape nodded solemnly and Dudley gulped. Checking that the zombies still hadn't glimpsed their location, Harry began to break off into a run, Snape and Dudley following behind him. If anyone had ever told Harry that one day he would run down Privet Drive with Snape and Dudley to get away from an angry zombie horde he would have looked blankly at them and ask them exactly how much time they spent with Trelawny and if she laced her teacups with LSD.
They reach the door gasping for air. It had only been a short rest before they had started running again.
"We can use Harry's room," Dudley says excitedly. "It has locks on the doors and bars on the windows."
Harry notices Snape's head jerk.
There's no time for Snape to remark on the peculiar comment. Instead, he sends a stunner at a crawling, chopped off arm. He notices that there are quite a few crawling body parts; they're mostly arms but there's the odd hopping foot. He sends off multiple stunners.
"Dudley! Let us in!" Snape hears Harry yell.
"But I don't have a key!" Dudley yells back.
How on earth Snape had survived almost a year with two of the dumbest boys he's ever met, he has no idea. They were better in a crisis, and he supposes the lack of a full-fledged zombie dulled their minds to an incredible extent.
"What about yours?" Dudley asks.
"What on earth do you mean what about mine? I don't know if you've forgotten, but they never gave me a bloody key."
"Oh right."
There's a tone in Dudley's voice he's become used to hearing. The closer they've gotten to Privet Drive again, the more Snape heard it. It was a combination of shame and uncertainty. It was surprisingly unlike the reaction he got whenever he sent one of his silver-tongued remarks at the brats. There was something that just seemed completely wrong about his and Potter's relationship.
As if it had just occurred to Potter, in which it most likely did, Potter yelled, "Dudley! YOU HAVE AN AXE!"
"Oh right," the boy repeated. Snape prayed that the boy wasn't going into shock. They had somehow avoided it so far, and he didn't want to have to deal with it the moment they got into some place even remotely secure. He heard the sounds of Dudley chopping away at the door. Once he was in, Potter followed, and then Snape. If only the stupid boy hadn't lost his wand. Lost his wand. What kind of wizard was he?
"Dudley take Snape upstairs. You show him which room."
"Which one?"
"My room, you buffoon!" Harry turned away from the two as they bounded up the stairs. Harry focused on getting as much stuff as possible to block the front of the door, before running up and following the two.
He cringed at the top of the stairs when he realized he just gave Dudley the all-clear for Snape, SNAPE of all people to see his humiliating bedroom. Still, the locks would be needed. If Snape could lock them from the inside of the room and the bars would indeed be helpful.
"This is the most pathetic room I've ever seen, Potter," Snape said looking around at the piles of Dudley's broken toys and the spring mattress stuffed into the corner of the room. "Don't take care of much, do you?"
"Hey, that's my stuff, you're talking about!" Dudley yelled, before slapping a hand over his mouth and turning red.
"I thought this was your cousin's room," Snape replied silkily.
"It is."
Snape raised an eyebrow.
"There's locks on the outside of the door. Can you lock them from the inside?" Harry asked.
Snape wordlessly locked the door from the inside.
"Did you lock them all?" Harry asked.
Snape glared.
"Good. I guess."
Harry went over to the loose floorboard and pulled out a container of fudge that Mrs. Weasley had sent him last year and the key to the cupboard that he nicked. Wordlessly he hands the old fudge to Snape and Dudley.
Fingering the key, he says, “My wand’s downstairs.”
“Why didn’t you grab it before, Potter?”
“I needed the key, sir. And would you rather deal with Harry Potter the muggle or Harry Potter the wizard?”
“If you become a zombie, I will delight in killing you, Potter.”
“Sure thing, Professor.”
Yasona//Slytherin//41 Points
Rating/Warnings: PG-13
Characters: Harry Potter, Severus Snape, and Dudley Dursley
Summary: If anyone had ever told Harry that one day he would run down Privet Drive with Snape and Dudley to get away from an angry zombie horde he would have looked blankly at them and ask them exactly how much time they spent with Trelawny and if she laced her teacups with LSD.
Word Count: 1,216
Author's Notes: I spent all thirty minutes writing and no time editing. Although I'm seriously considering taking this over to sugarquill and doing a fairly long story. Zombies are fun.
Registered purchases?: Nope.
Harry had always imagined a wide array of situations during the times he had been locked in his cupboard. His rescue situations ranged from teleporting aliens to benign wizards and even to pirates somehow sneaking their way in and taking him away. He supposed the only reason he had never even thought about zombies plaguing the earth was because the zombie craze of the muggle world had never been quite so predominant during his generation. In fact, the obsession over zombie survival tactics didn't take place until he was well into Hogwarts.
It was Dudley, Dudley, surprisingly enough, who was currently doing better than any wizard in keeping both Harry and his potions professor alive in the zombie apocalypse. It turned out, that while the zombie craze had been kept far from the Wizarding world, only mentioned once in awhile as 'inferi', Dudley had latched onto every bloody and gory zombie movie, comic book, tv-show, and as he once let slip, even in a book. He also promised that Harry would find his head stuffed in a toilet should he ever let that slip to Piers. Wherever Piers was.
Harry had never envisioned zombies. He also had never envisioned being on the run with both Dudley and Snape. He had been separated from Ron and Hermione almost a year ago. He didn't know what happened to them. The rest of Hogwarts, the rest of the Wizarding world, none of them knew. They had all been at the Dursleys’ when they first heard the news. That had been a very uncomfortable almost one year and they were making a full circle back to the only 'home' Harry had known before Hogwarts.
Harry regretted that Dudley had to go back to Privet Drive. That was when Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon were quickly made into zombies themselves. It had been a horrid sight and Harry didn't know how they would deal should they come upon them again. There was a strange sort of hope in Harry's chest. Most likely strange because he had started getting used to living without hope. The acerbic potions professor had little hope stored up in his supply and more than a thousand negative comments that he continuously dealt out to both the boys. If times hadn't been so dire, Harry would have been thrilled to see his cousin's face twist into shame and embarrassment. Instead, he cringed whenever Snape sent another caustic remark towards Dudley. He wasn't certain for how long Dudley could handle it and truth be told, he needed, THEY needed Dudley. He couldn't always remember all the information to destroy or slow the zombies down, but he worked brilliantly under pressure and would suddenly belt out some of the most ridiculous sounding information that would inexplicably save their rear ends.
Harry sucked in a deep breath and nodded to Snape and Dudley. "It's that way," he said gesturing. Snape nodded solemnly and Dudley gulped. Checking that the zombies still hadn't glimpsed their location, Harry began to break off into a run, Snape and Dudley following behind him. If anyone had ever told Harry that one day he would run down Privet Drive with Snape and Dudley to get away from an angry zombie horde he would have looked blankly at them and ask them exactly how much time they spent with Trelawny and if she laced her teacups with LSD.
They reach the door gasping for air. It had only been a short rest before they had started running again.
"We can use Harry's room," Dudley says excitedly. "It has locks on the doors and bars on the windows."
Harry notices Snape's head jerk.
There's no time for Snape to remark on the peculiar comment. Instead, he sends a stunner at a crawling, chopped off arm. He notices that there are quite a few crawling body parts; they're mostly arms but there's the odd hopping foot. He sends off multiple stunners.
"Dudley! Let us in!" Snape hears Harry yell.
"But I don't have a key!" Dudley yells back.
How on earth Snape had survived almost a year with two of the dumbest boys he's ever met, he has no idea. They were better in a crisis, and he supposes the lack of a full-fledged zombie dulled their minds to an incredible extent.
"What about yours?" Dudley asks.
"What on earth do you mean what about mine? I don't know if you've forgotten, but they never gave me a bloody key."
"Oh right."
There's a tone in Dudley's voice he's become used to hearing. The closer they've gotten to Privet Drive again, the more Snape heard it. It was a combination of shame and uncertainty. It was surprisingly unlike the reaction he got whenever he sent one of his silver-tongued remarks at the brats. There was something that just seemed completely wrong about his and Potter's relationship.
As if it had just occurred to Potter, in which it most likely did, Potter yelled, "Dudley! YOU HAVE AN AXE!"
"Oh right," the boy repeated. Snape prayed that the boy wasn't going into shock. They had somehow avoided it so far, and he didn't want to have to deal with it the moment they got into some place even remotely secure. He heard the sounds of Dudley chopping away at the door. Once he was in, Potter followed, and then Snape. If only the stupid boy hadn't lost his wand. Lost his wand. What kind of wizard was he?
"Dudley take Snape upstairs. You show him which room."
"Which one?"
"My room, you buffoon!" Harry turned away from the two as they bounded up the stairs. Harry focused on getting as much stuff as possible to block the front of the door, before running up and following the two.
He cringed at the top of the stairs when he realized he just gave Dudley the all-clear for Snape, SNAPE of all people to see his humiliating bedroom. Still, the locks would be needed. If Snape could lock them from the inside of the room and the bars would indeed be helpful.
"This is the most pathetic room I've ever seen, Potter," Snape said looking around at the piles of Dudley's broken toys and the spring mattress stuffed into the corner of the room. "Don't take care of much, do you?"
"Hey, that's my stuff, you're talking about!" Dudley yelled, before slapping a hand over his mouth and turning red.
"I thought this was your cousin's room," Snape replied silkily.
"It is."
Snape raised an eyebrow.
"There's locks on the outside of the door. Can you lock them from the inside?" Harry asked.
Snape wordlessly locked the door from the inside.
"Did you lock them all?" Harry asked.
Snape glared.
"Good. I guess."
Harry went over to the loose floorboard and pulled out a container of fudge that Mrs. Weasley had sent him last year and the key to the cupboard that he nicked. Wordlessly he hands the old fudge to Snape and Dudley.
Fingering the key, he says, “My wand’s downstairs.”
“Why didn’t you grab it before, Potter?”
“I needed the key, sir. And would you rather deal with Harry Potter the muggle or Harry Potter the wizard?”
“If you become a zombie, I will delight in killing you, Potter.”
“Sure thing, Professor.”
Yasona//Slytherin//41 Points