Challenge #92
Title: Cockney Crabbe
Rating/Warnings: PG
Characters/Pairing: Vincent Crabbe, Severus Snape, slight Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley
Summary: Crabbe wants to get the trio expelled.
Word Count: 627
Author's Notes: Written for Challenge#92: Cockney Rhyming Slang. Terms used:
Adam and Eve = believe
Mutt and jeff = deaf
Butcher's hook = look
Apple and Pears = stairs
Shabba ranks = thanks
Registered purchases?: Both
Crabbe wasn't too happy about having to stay at Hogwarts for the Christmas holidays. He was the only Slytherin left behind, along with Millicent Bullstrode, who always scared him so he wouldn't get to close to her. But before he had left, Crabbe's friend, who was more like a boss, Draco Malfoy, instructed him to keep an eye on Potter and his sidekicks and try to get them in trouble, or even expelled. So when Crabbe overheard Ron talking to Hermione about "We're doing it tonight" or "I really hope nobody sees us" he was sure he had hit the jackpot. So he went closer to the pair, determined to find out more details about what was going to happen. Unfortunately for him, he was not the master of disguise and subtlety so Hermione noticed him after a short while. Furious, she grabbed Ron and ran away, not before sending a hex towards Crabbe. He felt a slight tingle but nothing else happened. Stupid Mudblood, she didn't manage to curse him. And he'd heard enough to go tell Professor Snape about it.
"Professor," he said, slightly out of breath, as he arrived in the dungeons," I Adam and Eve that Potter, Weasley and Granger are up to something tonight."
Snape gave him a confused look and proceeded to ignore him.
"Professor, I'm not mutt and jeff. I know what I heard."
"Crabbe, what on earth are you talking about. Adam and Eve? Mutt and Jeff? Are you making fun of me?"
"No sir, I'm serious. At midnight in the Astronomy tower."
"Fine, Crabbe. You know how much I want Potter expelled, so I'll see you then. But if you're wrong, you'll be in so much trouble."
Crabbe gulped. Professor Snape was certainly intimidating and scary even for one of the students from his own house.
At midnight, Crabbe and Snape met up as they had previously established.
"Butcher's hook, Professor, up the apple and pears!" Crabbe said, hurrying up the stairs.
"Crabbe, stop talking like an idiot!" Snape bellowed but followed the student closely. As soon as they climbed a few more stairs, they were met with a sight none of them had expected.
Ron and Hermione were half naked on the top stairs, their clothes thrown all over the place and they were kissing passionately. Crabbe watched without blinking. He had clearly never seen anything like this.
Snape cleared his throat, amused at the now horrified expressions of the two young lovers.
"My apologies, Granger, Weasley, for interrupting your little affair." He smirked.
Hermione got dressed quickly and was as red as Ron's hair. Ron looked like someone had told him Christmas was canceled.
"Fifty points from Gryffindor for each, for immoral behavior. Now go back to your common room before I think of a more embarrassing punishment."
Normally, Ron and Hermione would've been angry at the injustice of Snape's decision, but they were so embarrassed that they chose to walk away as quickly as possible.
"And as for you, Crabbe, it wasn't as spectacular as I expected, but you did good."
"Shabba ranks, professor." Crabbe smiled with satisfaction.
"Oh, stop that." Snape rolled his eyes and muttered a spell. "You've been hit with a Cockney Rhyming spell, Crabbe, I don't know how I missed it the first time. Now go back to the common room before anyone catches you out of bed."
Crabbe left, happy that he had caused a serious point loss for the Gryffindors. Draco Malfoy would surely be proud of him, even if he hadn't managed to get any of the trio expelled. And there was one more week of holidays, who knew what Crabbe could find out in the meantime? Maybe something even better than this was going to happen.
627/30=20.9 = 21 points for Hufflepuff
Rating/Warnings: PG
Characters/Pairing: Vincent Crabbe, Severus Snape, slight Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley
Summary: Crabbe wants to get the trio expelled.
Word Count: 627
Author's Notes: Written for Challenge#92: Cockney Rhyming Slang. Terms used:
Adam and Eve = believe
Mutt and jeff = deaf
Butcher's hook = look
Apple and Pears = stairs
Shabba ranks = thanks
Registered purchases?: Both
Crabbe wasn't too happy about having to stay at Hogwarts for the Christmas holidays. He was the only Slytherin left behind, along with Millicent Bullstrode, who always scared him so he wouldn't get to close to her. But before he had left, Crabbe's friend, who was more like a boss, Draco Malfoy, instructed him to keep an eye on Potter and his sidekicks and try to get them in trouble, or even expelled. So when Crabbe overheard Ron talking to Hermione about "We're doing it tonight" or "I really hope nobody sees us" he was sure he had hit the jackpot. So he went closer to the pair, determined to find out more details about what was going to happen. Unfortunately for him, he was not the master of disguise and subtlety so Hermione noticed him after a short while. Furious, she grabbed Ron and ran away, not before sending a hex towards Crabbe. He felt a slight tingle but nothing else happened. Stupid Mudblood, she didn't manage to curse him. And he'd heard enough to go tell Professor Snape about it.
"Professor," he said, slightly out of breath, as he arrived in the dungeons," I Adam and Eve that Potter, Weasley and Granger are up to something tonight."
Snape gave him a confused look and proceeded to ignore him.
"Professor, I'm not mutt and jeff. I know what I heard."
"Crabbe, what on earth are you talking about. Adam and Eve? Mutt and Jeff? Are you making fun of me?"
"No sir, I'm serious. At midnight in the Astronomy tower."
"Fine, Crabbe. You know how much I want Potter expelled, so I'll see you then. But if you're wrong, you'll be in so much trouble."
Crabbe gulped. Professor Snape was certainly intimidating and scary even for one of the students from his own house.
At midnight, Crabbe and Snape met up as they had previously established.
"Butcher's hook, Professor, up the apple and pears!" Crabbe said, hurrying up the stairs.
"Crabbe, stop talking like an idiot!" Snape bellowed but followed the student closely. As soon as they climbed a few more stairs, they were met with a sight none of them had expected.
Ron and Hermione were half naked on the top stairs, their clothes thrown all over the place and they were kissing passionately. Crabbe watched without blinking. He had clearly never seen anything like this.
Snape cleared his throat, amused at the now horrified expressions of the two young lovers.
"My apologies, Granger, Weasley, for interrupting your little affair." He smirked.
Hermione got dressed quickly and was as red as Ron's hair. Ron looked like someone had told him Christmas was canceled.
"Fifty points from Gryffindor for each, for immoral behavior. Now go back to your common room before I think of a more embarrassing punishment."
Normally, Ron and Hermione would've been angry at the injustice of Snape's decision, but they were so embarrassed that they chose to walk away as quickly as possible.
"And as for you, Crabbe, it wasn't as spectacular as I expected, but you did good."
"Shabba ranks, professor." Crabbe smiled with satisfaction.
"Oh, stop that." Snape rolled his eyes and muttered a spell. "You've been hit with a Cockney Rhyming spell, Crabbe, I don't know how I missed it the first time. Now go back to the common room before anyone catches you out of bed."
Crabbe left, happy that he had caused a serious point loss for the Gryffindors. Draco Malfoy would surely be proud of him, even if he hadn't managed to get any of the trio expelled. And there was one more week of holidays, who knew what Crabbe could find out in the meantime? Maybe something even better than this was going to happen.
627/30=20.9 = 21 points for Hufflepuff