1 Fic for Challenge #90: Bathroom
Title: Not worth a title tbqh
Rating/Warnings: PG? Warning for extreme, cracky OOC-ness.
Characters/Pairing: Hermione, Krum, unnamed fangirls
Summary: Hermione wants to ditch Krum and hook up with Cedric based on Twilight delusions. Features ink!love potions and Krum fangirls.
Word Count: 890
Author's Notes: I seriously don't even fucking know, ok XD
Registered purchases?: Both :3
Hermione leaned over towards the mirror and adjusted her hair, pulling it back away from her face further. She pondered her reflection and tried to figure out if she liked this twisted bun that she had going on right now, or if she preferred the extremely complicated braided up-do complete with magical glitter. She supposed the bun was a bit more tasteful for the dance. Just then she saw a stray hair that had popped out of the hair style. She gasped and lunged for her bottle of Sleekeaszy's Hair Potion. She figured it wouldn't do any harm to just dump the rest of the bottle on her hair...just in case, you see. She couldn't have a hair out of place. Not at an event this important. In her rush to get to the hair product, Hermione knocked over her jar of ink and started to curse at herself. She couldn't believe how clumsy she was. How could someone so plain and clumsy like her snag such an amazing date?
Hermione sighed and sank to the floor to open up her school satchel and pull out a well worn book. She gazed with reverence at the black cover with the beautiful apple being held in a cupped pair of hands. ~*~Twilight~*~ She was reminded of Bella Swan and how similar they were. Brown hair, plain, clumsy, smart, attracted to glitter. Obviously Bella Swan was her spirit animal. Hermione thumbed to her favorite part of the chapter to the point where Bella meets Edward. She sighed and thought about how much she loved Cedric and how much he reminded her of Edward. Eerily so, in fact. Hermione had already concocted a plan with she would use to lure Cedric into her clutches and then she could be Bella for real. She just ignored the whole vampire thing. She was sure they could wander down to the Hog's Head and get that sorted out later.
Hermione stood up from the floor and dusted off her clothes so that she could finish her primping which had gotten interrupted by her delusions. She just had to figure out how to break things off with Krum. The poor twit was still following her around like a puppy. She had originally fallen for him when she heard his accent. To her, it sounded like what a proper vampire should sound like. Then she saw the Twilight MOVIE and realized that vampires sounded American. She couldn't find anyone like that at Hogwarts, but she was going to make do with Cedric. Or Cedward as she had taken to calling him in her head. She began to concoct scenarios in her head where she could scold Krum and get him to move on "Now, how are we ever going to move on from this relationship if we continue to use the same sink?" ...hmmm she didn't think that would work, but it was a step in the right direction. Maybe if she was able to set him up with one of his fangirls he would be able to move on.
So Hermione gathered up her makeup and hair potions and pranced out of the bathroom. She sighed and rolled her eyes when every one turned and muttered about her appearance. Why did everyone need to pay so much attention to her? She wished they could all just leave her alone with her plotting.
When she reached the library, Hermione was quickly able to find Krum's fangirl posse. When she approached them, she immediately received the side eye from every single person.
"Don't worry, I'm not here for your man. In fact, I want him to be with one of you. Who wants a piece of that?" Hermione asked while pointing to Krum who sat across the library with him quill in his mouth and his teeth stained green from ink.
"OMG ME ME ME OMFGGGGGGGKASKJLSADKJKDSKJADSKJADSKJ" They verbally keysmashed in reply. Hermione decided to go with the fangirl who was closest to a breakdown and sent her off towards Krum with a cleverly disguised love potion. He would never suspect it to be in the jar of ink she came over with to replace his spilled one. He thanked the girl with a grunt (She almost peed in glee at being acknowledged) and dipped his quill in the new ink. Chewing on his quill in further thought, he suddenly went slackjawed and stared at the quivering ball of jelly in front of him with new found love and lust and reverence and awe and all that other fun shit. He jumped up and started kissing her while going on about his love for her.
Pleased with this display in front of her, Hermione trotted off to find Cedric and present him with his own new set of inks so that he can finish that essay she heard so much about. What was that weird sound though? Almost like a buzzing, or a...purring?
Crookshanks then got impatient for attention and sank his claws into Hermione's chest. As she bolted awake, she tried to calm her breathing. She was sure that she had dreamt something quite odd and horrifying, but for the life of her she wouldn't be able to tell you what it was about. That's the last time she was eating Bertie Bott's before bed, she decided.
890/30 = 30 points
+ 10 bonus
40 points for Gryffindor
Rating/Warnings: PG? Warning for extreme, cracky OOC-ness.
Characters/Pairing: Hermione, Krum, unnamed fangirls
Summary: Hermione wants to ditch Krum and hook up with Cedric based on Twilight delusions. Features ink!love potions and Krum fangirls.
Word Count: 890
Author's Notes: I seriously don't even fucking know, ok XD
Registered purchases?: Both :3
Hermione leaned over towards the mirror and adjusted her hair, pulling it back away from her face further. She pondered her reflection and tried to figure out if she liked this twisted bun that she had going on right now, or if she preferred the extremely complicated braided up-do complete with magical glitter. She supposed the bun was a bit more tasteful for the dance. Just then she saw a stray hair that had popped out of the hair style. She gasped and lunged for her bottle of Sleekeaszy's Hair Potion. She figured it wouldn't do any harm to just dump the rest of the bottle on her hair...just in case, you see. She couldn't have a hair out of place. Not at an event this important. In her rush to get to the hair product, Hermione knocked over her jar of ink and started to curse at herself. She couldn't believe how clumsy she was. How could someone so plain and clumsy like her snag such an amazing date?
Hermione sighed and sank to the floor to open up her school satchel and pull out a well worn book. She gazed with reverence at the black cover with the beautiful apple being held in a cupped pair of hands. ~*~Twilight~*~ She was reminded of Bella Swan and how similar they were. Brown hair, plain, clumsy, smart, attracted to glitter. Obviously Bella Swan was her spirit animal. Hermione thumbed to her favorite part of the chapter to the point where Bella meets Edward. She sighed and thought about how much she loved Cedric and how much he reminded her of Edward. Eerily so, in fact. Hermione had already concocted a plan with she would use to lure Cedric into her clutches and then she could be Bella for real. She just ignored the whole vampire thing. She was sure they could wander down to the Hog's Head and get that sorted out later.
Hermione stood up from the floor and dusted off her clothes so that she could finish her primping which had gotten interrupted by her delusions. She just had to figure out how to break things off with Krum. The poor twit was still following her around like a puppy. She had originally fallen for him when she heard his accent. To her, it sounded like what a proper vampire should sound like. Then she saw the Twilight MOVIE and realized that vampires sounded American. She couldn't find anyone like that at Hogwarts, but she was going to make do with Cedric. Or Cedward as she had taken to calling him in her head. She began to concoct scenarios in her head where she could scold Krum and get him to move on "Now, how are we ever going to move on from this relationship if we continue to use the same sink?" ...hmmm she didn't think that would work, but it was a step in the right direction. Maybe if she was able to set him up with one of his fangirls he would be able to move on.
So Hermione gathered up her makeup and hair potions and pranced out of the bathroom. She sighed and rolled her eyes when every one turned and muttered about her appearance. Why did everyone need to pay so much attention to her? She wished they could all just leave her alone with her plotting.
When she reached the library, Hermione was quickly able to find Krum's fangirl posse. When she approached them, she immediately received the side eye from every single person.
"Don't worry, I'm not here for your man. In fact, I want him to be with one of you. Who wants a piece of that?" Hermione asked while pointing to Krum who sat across the library with him quill in his mouth and his teeth stained green from ink.
"OMG ME ME ME OMFGGGGGGGKASKJLSADKJKDSKJADSKJADSKJ" They verbally keysmashed in reply. Hermione decided to go with the fangirl who was closest to a breakdown and sent her off towards Krum with a cleverly disguised love potion. He would never suspect it to be in the jar of ink she came over with to replace his spilled one. He thanked the girl with a grunt (She almost peed in glee at being acknowledged) and dipped his quill in the new ink. Chewing on his quill in further thought, he suddenly went slackjawed and stared at the quivering ball of jelly in front of him with new found love and lust and reverence and awe and all that other fun shit. He jumped up and started kissing her while going on about his love for her.
Pleased with this display in front of her, Hermione trotted off to find Cedric and present him with his own new set of inks so that he can finish that essay she heard so much about. What was that weird sound though? Almost like a buzzing, or a...purring?
Crookshanks then got impatient for attention and sank his claws into Hermione's chest. As she bolted awake, she tried to calm her breathing. She was sure that she had dreamt something quite odd and horrifying, but for the life of her she wouldn't be able to tell you what it was about. That's the last time she was eating Bertie Bott's before bed, she decided.
890/30 = 30 points
+ 10 bonus
40 points for Gryffindor