Challenge #79; Trio of Tricksters
Title: Trio of Tricksters
Rating/Warnings: PG, for gen and pre-slash of the Snarry sort.
Characters/Pairing: Harry, Hermione, Ron.
Summary: Harry lies, Ron pranks and Hermione comes to the rescue with yet another trick.
Word Count: ~1,100
Author's Notes: -
Registered purchases?: Parchment, only.
TRIO OF TRICKSTERS
“Oh. My. God!” Hermione wheezed out, closing her eyes as if to ward herself from the reality, a pained expression on her face. Her eyes snapped open as her brain finished processing all the small and big consequences of what Harry and Ron had just done. “Oh my God! What possessed you to do such thing!” Her voice morphed into a cry of outrage. “He’s going to have you both fired for this! After all the crap we pulled over the years, you manage to get kicked out of Hogwarts for giving flowers to Snape!”
Ron huffed a laugh. “We even left a love letter with them. Imagine the nasty git’s face when he sees them. He’ll think he has a secret admirer!”
Judging by the way Ron said it, one would think it was the funniest thing he had ever heard. Harry shifted uncomfortably in his chair, and found himself pierced by Hermione’s hazel eyes. Without tearing her gaze from Harry, who flushed and looked away into the fireplace, she said to Ron, “Go to your room, Ron Weasley, and think about what you have done.”
Ron bristled in annoyance, but as soon as he saw the gaze Hermione had trained on Harry, he wisely shut up. He was used to people placing the blame solely on Harry, as if Harry should always know better, and, while it had bothered him some when they were children, he was more than happy to let it be now, lest Hermione withdraw nookie as punishment. And she would, the devil. It was very embarrassing for a grown man to be suffering from a nasty case of blue balls every time he upset his wife.
As soon as Ron was out of reach, Hermione whirled on Harry. “It’s been you!” Harry saw no point in denying it. “Please tell me this is not why you quit the Prides and came to Hogwarts. Please, please, please.”
Harry gave her a shadow of a cheeky grin. “You want me to lie?”
“Argh! Harry!” The smile on Harry’s face vanished. “You’re sporting an obsession for the man again, and this time you’ll hurt more than just yourself.” Harry thought it was best to look somewhat apologetical. “Oh, don’t give me that face! I know it better than you do. Why are you doing this, Harry? Why make Snape think someone, somewhere, cares this deeply for him?”
Harry bit his lip, reminding her of the awkward teen she used to know before he was replaced by a confidant, flamboyant Quidditch star; one that seem to have made a point of sowing his wild oats in every port, and not just in asexual manner. “Because someone actually does,” he replied, lifting his gaze to meet hers.
Hermione froze. “Oh, no! Oh, Harry, not this again. We’ve talked about how you’re projecting these feelings. You only need a bit more time-”
“Hermione,” Harry interrupted firmly, “it’s been five years since the war and nothing has changed. Five years. That seems a long time to be projecting anything. Besides, I’ve seen him smile when he receives the gifts. He’s happy, and I’m happy that I’ve been putting that expression on his face. I don’t care if he never knows I’m the one who did it.”
Hermione seemed gobsmacked. “That’s . . . incredibly selfless of you. I’m proud.”
Harry gave her a lopsided smile. “Don’t forgive me just yet. You see, I’ve been sending these gifts since I’ve left school.” Hermione pursed her lips together in disapproval. “Sorry for lying about it for so long.”
Hermione took a deep breath and let out a resigned sigh. “Never mind that. I’m just wondering how we are going to break news to Ron. He still thinks this is a prank . . .”
“What was I supposed to do? The nosey prat went through my stuff while I was in the shower. To help me unpack, he said. I bet he was looking for booze.”
“You’re the one who always brings him a bottle of slow death from your trips.” She smiled lightly. “We do have fun in these gatherings, don’t we? Anyway,” she sobered again, “didn’t you think of a better excuse other than a prank? Really, you could have said they were for me . . .”
Harry blushed. “I didn’t think about it.”
“Obviously.”
“Well, what do I do now, anyway?” Harry asked, “Ron’s going to expect some sort of fall-out or something.”
Hermione gave him a look. “How should I know? You put yourself in this mess, you can take yourself out of it.”
Harry gaped at her. “You’re not helping me breaking things to Ron? Or Snape?”
Hermione’s smile was not a pretty sight, but it looked damn good on her. “No.” She got up and headed towards the bedroom. “You can bunk on the sofa until the house-elves have your own quarters ready.” She hesitated by the doorway when Harry remained quiet, before whirling around to face him, a contrite frown on her face. “Oh, really,” she snapped, “I’ll help you out.” Harry grinned. “I’ll tell Ron, and you see that you ask Snape out for dinner.”
“Uh, I really appreciate your help, Hermione, but I couldn’t possibly ask Snape out. He’ll have my hide!”
Hermione’s lips twitched and she spared him a suspiciously innocent expression, asking, “I thought that was the whole point . . .” Harry glared and she snorted a laugh. “Seriously, though, go out with him, but keep the presents coming. Once he realises he can trust you, he’ll see the whole thing as incredibly romantic . . . which it is, albeit incredibly stupid and juvenile.”
Harry gaped. “That’s harsh.”
Hermione pressed her lips together as if to prevent herself from saying what had first occurred to her. “Harry, he’ll be furious. Besides, I think he’s dating Rosmerta. I really hope you’re ready to be persistent.”
“I am,” Harry assured her, nodding to emphasise his words.
“Good. Rosmerta is not good enough for him. Way too frisky,” she added in guise of explanation.
Harry bit back his amused grin. “You’re just jealous Ron still blushes when she talks to him.”
Hermione smiled evilly. “I’m allowed to be petty when I’m pregnant.”
Harry gaped. “What?”
“Don’t tell Ron just yet,” she asked with a happy glint shining in her eyes. “I wanted to surprise him, but now I think it’s best if I pass the information in pairs. That way, he’ll have more to worry about than Snape.”
Harry snickered. What a pair they made.
THE END
1094:30 = 34,1 ~ 34 POINTS TO HUFFLEPUFF
Rating/Warnings: PG, for gen and pre-slash of the Snarry sort.
Characters/Pairing: Harry, Hermione, Ron.
Summary: Harry lies, Ron pranks and Hermione comes to the rescue with yet another trick.
Word Count: ~1,100
Author's Notes: -
Registered purchases?: Parchment, only.
TRIO OF TRICKSTERS
“Oh. My. God!” Hermione wheezed out, closing her eyes as if to ward herself from the reality, a pained expression on her face. Her eyes snapped open as her brain finished processing all the small and big consequences of what Harry and Ron had just done. “Oh my God! What possessed you to do such thing!” Her voice morphed into a cry of outrage. “He’s going to have you both fired for this! After all the crap we pulled over the years, you manage to get kicked out of Hogwarts for giving flowers to Snape!”
Ron huffed a laugh. “We even left a love letter with them. Imagine the nasty git’s face when he sees them. He’ll think he has a secret admirer!”
Judging by the way Ron said it, one would think it was the funniest thing he had ever heard. Harry shifted uncomfortably in his chair, and found himself pierced by Hermione’s hazel eyes. Without tearing her gaze from Harry, who flushed and looked away into the fireplace, she said to Ron, “Go to your room, Ron Weasley, and think about what you have done.”
Ron bristled in annoyance, but as soon as he saw the gaze Hermione had trained on Harry, he wisely shut up. He was used to people placing the blame solely on Harry, as if Harry should always know better, and, while it had bothered him some when they were children, he was more than happy to let it be now, lest Hermione withdraw nookie as punishment. And she would, the devil. It was very embarrassing for a grown man to be suffering from a nasty case of blue balls every time he upset his wife.
As soon as Ron was out of reach, Hermione whirled on Harry. “It’s been you!” Harry saw no point in denying it. “Please tell me this is not why you quit the Prides and came to Hogwarts. Please, please, please.”
Harry gave her a shadow of a cheeky grin. “You want me to lie?”
“Argh! Harry!” The smile on Harry’s face vanished. “You’re sporting an obsession for the man again, and this time you’ll hurt more than just yourself.” Harry thought it was best to look somewhat apologetical. “Oh, don’t give me that face! I know it better than you do. Why are you doing this, Harry? Why make Snape think someone, somewhere, cares this deeply for him?”
Harry bit his lip, reminding her of the awkward teen she used to know before he was replaced by a confidant, flamboyant Quidditch star; one that seem to have made a point of sowing his wild oats in every port, and not just in asexual manner. “Because someone actually does,” he replied, lifting his gaze to meet hers.
Hermione froze. “Oh, no! Oh, Harry, not this again. We’ve talked about how you’re projecting these feelings. You only need a bit more time-”
“Hermione,” Harry interrupted firmly, “it’s been five years since the war and nothing has changed. Five years. That seems a long time to be projecting anything. Besides, I’ve seen him smile when he receives the gifts. He’s happy, and I’m happy that I’ve been putting that expression on his face. I don’t care if he never knows I’m the one who did it.”
Hermione seemed gobsmacked. “That’s . . . incredibly selfless of you. I’m proud.”
Harry gave her a lopsided smile. “Don’t forgive me just yet. You see, I’ve been sending these gifts since I’ve left school.” Hermione pursed her lips together in disapproval. “Sorry for lying about it for so long.”
Hermione took a deep breath and let out a resigned sigh. “Never mind that. I’m just wondering how we are going to break news to Ron. He still thinks this is a prank . . .”
“What was I supposed to do? The nosey prat went through my stuff while I was in the shower. To help me unpack, he said. I bet he was looking for booze.”
“You’re the one who always brings him a bottle of slow death from your trips.” She smiled lightly. “We do have fun in these gatherings, don’t we? Anyway,” she sobered again, “didn’t you think of a better excuse other than a prank? Really, you could have said they were for me . . .”
Harry blushed. “I didn’t think about it.”
“Obviously.”
“Well, what do I do now, anyway?” Harry asked, “Ron’s going to expect some sort of fall-out or something.”
Hermione gave him a look. “How should I know? You put yourself in this mess, you can take yourself out of it.”
Harry gaped at her. “You’re not helping me breaking things to Ron? Or Snape?”
Hermione’s smile was not a pretty sight, but it looked damn good on her. “No.” She got up and headed towards the bedroom. “You can bunk on the sofa until the house-elves have your own quarters ready.” She hesitated by the doorway when Harry remained quiet, before whirling around to face him, a contrite frown on her face. “Oh, really,” she snapped, “I’ll help you out.” Harry grinned. “I’ll tell Ron, and you see that you ask Snape out for dinner.”
“Uh, I really appreciate your help, Hermione, but I couldn’t possibly ask Snape out. He’ll have my hide!”
Hermione’s lips twitched and she spared him a suspiciously innocent expression, asking, “I thought that was the whole point . . .” Harry glared and she snorted a laugh. “Seriously, though, go out with him, but keep the presents coming. Once he realises he can trust you, he’ll see the whole thing as incredibly romantic . . . which it is, albeit incredibly stupid and juvenile.”
Harry gaped. “That’s harsh.”
Hermione pressed her lips together as if to prevent herself from saying what had first occurred to her. “Harry, he’ll be furious. Besides, I think he’s dating Rosmerta. I really hope you’re ready to be persistent.”
“I am,” Harry assured her, nodding to emphasise his words.
“Good. Rosmerta is not good enough for him. Way too frisky,” she added in guise of explanation.
Harry bit back his amused grin. “You’re just jealous Ron still blushes when she talks to him.”
Hermione smiled evilly. “I’m allowed to be petty when I’m pregnant.”
Harry gaped. “What?”
“Don’t tell Ron just yet,” she asked with a happy glint shining in her eyes. “I wanted to surprise him, but now I think it’s best if I pass the information in pairs. That way, he’ll have more to worry about than Snape.”
Harry snickered. What a pair they made.
THE END
1094:30 = 34,1 ~ 34 POINTS TO HUFFLEPUFF