1 fic, 1 ficlet, 1 drabble (challenge #46)
Title: The problem with purebloods - Chapter 2
Summary: The Ministry have passed legislation that demands all muggle-borns to register. Investigation is required at St Mungos, to determined the blood status of many patients. Most are compliant in illness, but there is one patient of Ward 49 who is not quite so sedate. Just as well Dolores Umbridge is a massive fan!
Characters/Pairings: Umbridge, Lockhart.
Genre: Silliness.
Rating/Warnings: G in this chapter.
Word Count: 740
Written with heureviolet's birthday suggestions.
Lockhart stared at the strange woman as they walked. Her robes were the sort of pink you found in a baby's room - not that he had a baby, at least he didn't think so - covered with a brighter pink cardigan, that clashed so awfully it made his eyes go wobbly.
"Who are you again?" he asked, fascinated. He'd never seen anyone quite like her. All of the nurses here were dressed in white, and the other patients too. He'd believed himself to be the only colourful person that there was. He found it it quite intriguing that she too used colours to make an impression on people. He thought the blue of his robes made his eyes and hair look rather wonderful, and frequently asked to be taken to the lifts so that he could see his reflection in their walls.
"Don't be silly," the woman said, blinking at him a lot of times and sliding her hand along his arm. "I know you won't have forgotten me, you wrote ny name enough times in your books - 'To my beloved Dolores, with affection, Gilderoy Lockhart'."
"My books?" he asked bewilderdly, eliciting a girlish giggle from the pink woman.
"Ah now this looks to be just the place." She stopped at what looked to be a Healer's office. Lockhart was pulled through the doors with a loud noise of surprise. Inside there was a desk and a couple of book shelves. The pink woman perched herself on the edge of the desk, starting at him.
"Why yes, it is a fine hat, isn't it?" Lockhart enthused, reaching a hand up to his head and causing a peacock feather to float away. "Real dragon's feathers you know."
Another of those high pitched laughs, and suddenly Lockhart was being tugged forward, and his vision was full of pink. "Oh Gilderoy, you've always been so witty!" Lockhart pulled himself away from the embrace to her chest and looked about, a little confused.
"Is this your house?" he asked, with a suspicious glance at the desk.
"Now let's be serious for a moment, Gilderoy," she said, pulling on his arm so that he sat beside her on the desk. Lockhart lifted his legs up and swung them, like a child in a high seat. The woman in pink made an odd coughing noise, then pulled a piece of parchment from her cardigan.
"Where did that come from?" Lockhart asked excitedly, grabbing for the parchment "you can join up too I see. I learned myself recently - it's really rather good now." The pink woman looked cross this time, and Lockhart shoved the parchment back at her.
"I've been made Chair of the committee to investigate Muggle-borns, Gilderoy," she said delightedly, clapping her hands together. "You know I always felt Fudge was too light on these people. Thicknesse has really made some wonderful changes. We're investigating where they've stolen their magic from, and there's to be a register."
"Register?" he said, as though it had awoken some far off memory.
"Yes. Muggle-borns only of course, we can't expect the purebloods to-" she began.
"That's the problem with purebloods," Lockhart said suddenly, and passionately.
"Oh?" said the pink woman, looking a little taken back by this outburst. Lockhart himself was surprised to find that he had a strong opinion on something that wasn't colours, or hats. He stood up from the desk and turned around to look at her.
"Thinking they can go about avoiding registration. Something ought to be done! Send them to Azkaban!" Lockhart had removed his hat, and was holding it dramatically across his chest.
"Well I...aren't you yourself pureblood, Gilderoy?" she asked, confused by this turn of events.
"I'm a muggle!" he declared proudly, "and the new healer says I'm famous! That's why everyone keeps writing to me, they all think I'm so fabulous you see..."
There was a frozen expression on the face of Dolores Umbridge, as it finally began to settle in her mind. The old healer had wanted to escort him to a bed because he was a patient, not because he was visiting others. She seemed to flinch, and quickly scittered away from the table and toward the door, as though he were a repulsive insect that had appeared in the room.
"You can write to me," Lockhart said generously, peering after her as she vanished out of the door "I'll even write your name, Dennis!"
Title: Through the looking (wine) glass.
Summary: Sirius decided that Narcissa and Lucius' wedding will be far more enjoyable if he's drunk.
Characters/Pairings: Lucius/Narcissa, Sirius, Regulus.
Genre: Gen
Rating/Warnings: PG-13 - bad language, dirty (but not serious) Sirius.
Word Count: 252
written with painfullybored's suggestions
"Sirius, you're not supposed to be drinking," Regulus said, watching his brother lick missed red wine drops away.
"It's nothing to do with 'supposed', Reg, it's about the enjoyment of the thing," his brother said cryptically, running his fingers acround the green bottle and picking at the label.
"And what does that mean, then?" Regulus asked, rolling his eyes.
"Means...brides are supposed to look beautiful, and the groom is supposed to be irrisistable. You wouldn't want me going through this ceremony believing our cousin to look less than her best, would you?" Sirius was getting too close, and Regulus was no longer sure what point he was trying to make. He sighed and shoved against Sirius' chest, hating the heavy stink of wine that clung to Sirius all too obviously.
"Why don't you just sit through the whole thing with a cigarette dangling from your mouth?" the younger Black shot at his brother, "or perhaps you'd like to glance through one of those muggle porn books you're so fond of."
He'd expected Sirius to at least have the decency to blush, or make excuses. But instead he grinned his stupid, arrogant grin and up-ended the bottle into his mouth.
Later Sirius moved ahead of him, shaking Lucius' hand and kissing Narcissa's cheek.
"See? Now I'd fuck both of them," Sirius murmured as Regulus moved away, looking ahead for his mother hand father. Regulus couldn't stop himself from going bright red as Sirius' wine stained lips spread into another stupid, arrogant grin.
Title: Password?
Summary: Sirius needs to get back into the tower, but he's forgotten the password.
Characters/Pairings: Sirius Black. The Fat Lady.
Genre: Gen
Rating/Warnings: G
Word Count: 90
Challenge #46
"No, I have not lost weight," the Fat Lady snapped.
"You know me," Sirius said casually "it's not like I'm some random bloke you've never even seen."
"Do you want me to tell the Headmaster that you've been wandering about the castle, and that you've forgotten the password?" she asked irritably.
"That depends, do you want me to tell him that it was you who ate the hogroast in that painting in the astronomy tower, so the painting had to be scrapped?"
The Fat Lady gave a huff and swung forward.
Sam//Slytherin
Summary: The Ministry have passed legislation that demands all muggle-borns to register. Investigation is required at St Mungos, to determined the blood status of many patients. Most are compliant in illness, but there is one patient of Ward 49 who is not quite so sedate. Just as well Dolores Umbridge is a massive fan!
Characters/Pairings: Umbridge, Lockhart.
Genre: Silliness.
Rating/Warnings: G in this chapter.
Word Count: 740
Written with heureviolet's birthday suggestions.
Lockhart stared at the strange woman as they walked. Her robes were the sort of pink you found in a baby's room - not that he had a baby, at least he didn't think so - covered with a brighter pink cardigan, that clashed so awfully it made his eyes go wobbly.
"Who are you again?" he asked, fascinated. He'd never seen anyone quite like her. All of the nurses here were dressed in white, and the other patients too. He'd believed himself to be the only colourful person that there was. He found it it quite intriguing that she too used colours to make an impression on people. He thought the blue of his robes made his eyes and hair look rather wonderful, and frequently asked to be taken to the lifts so that he could see his reflection in their walls.
"Don't be silly," the woman said, blinking at him a lot of times and sliding her hand along his arm. "I know you won't have forgotten me, you wrote ny name enough times in your books - 'To my beloved Dolores, with affection, Gilderoy Lockhart'."
"My books?" he asked bewilderdly, eliciting a girlish giggle from the pink woman.
"Ah now this looks to be just the place." She stopped at what looked to be a Healer's office. Lockhart was pulled through the doors with a loud noise of surprise. Inside there was a desk and a couple of book shelves. The pink woman perched herself on the edge of the desk, starting at him.
"Why yes, it is a fine hat, isn't it?" Lockhart enthused, reaching a hand up to his head and causing a peacock feather to float away. "Real dragon's feathers you know."
Another of those high pitched laughs, and suddenly Lockhart was being tugged forward, and his vision was full of pink. "Oh Gilderoy, you've always been so witty!" Lockhart pulled himself away from the embrace to her chest and looked about, a little confused.
"Is this your house?" he asked, with a suspicious glance at the desk.
"Now let's be serious for a moment, Gilderoy," she said, pulling on his arm so that he sat beside her on the desk. Lockhart lifted his legs up and swung them, like a child in a high seat. The woman in pink made an odd coughing noise, then pulled a piece of parchment from her cardigan.
"Where did that come from?" Lockhart asked excitedly, grabbing for the parchment "you can join up too I see. I learned myself recently - it's really rather good now." The pink woman looked cross this time, and Lockhart shoved the parchment back at her.
"I've been made Chair of the committee to investigate Muggle-borns, Gilderoy," she said delightedly, clapping her hands together. "You know I always felt Fudge was too light on these people. Thicknesse has really made some wonderful changes. We're investigating where they've stolen their magic from, and there's to be a register."
"Register?" he said, as though it had awoken some far off memory.
"Yes. Muggle-borns only of course, we can't expect the purebloods to-" she began.
"That's the problem with purebloods," Lockhart said suddenly, and passionately.
"Oh?" said the pink woman, looking a little taken back by this outburst. Lockhart himself was surprised to find that he had a strong opinion on something that wasn't colours, or hats. He stood up from the desk and turned around to look at her.
"Thinking they can go about avoiding registration. Something ought to be done! Send them to Azkaban!" Lockhart had removed his hat, and was holding it dramatically across his chest.
"Well I...aren't you yourself pureblood, Gilderoy?" she asked, confused by this turn of events.
"I'm a muggle!" he declared proudly, "and the new healer says I'm famous! That's why everyone keeps writing to me, they all think I'm so fabulous you see..."
There was a frozen expression on the face of Dolores Umbridge, as it finally began to settle in her mind. The old healer had wanted to escort him to a bed because he was a patient, not because he was visiting others. She seemed to flinch, and quickly scittered away from the table and toward the door, as though he were a repulsive insect that had appeared in the room.
"You can write to me," Lockhart said generously, peering after her as she vanished out of the door "I'll even write your name, Dennis!"
Title: Through the looking (wine) glass.
Summary: Sirius decided that Narcissa and Lucius' wedding will be far more enjoyable if he's drunk.
Characters/Pairings: Lucius/Narcissa, Sirius, Regulus.
Genre: Gen
Rating/Warnings: PG-13 - bad language, dirty (but not serious) Sirius.
Word Count: 252
written with painfullybored's suggestions
"Sirius, you're not supposed to be drinking," Regulus said, watching his brother lick missed red wine drops away.
"It's nothing to do with 'supposed', Reg, it's about the enjoyment of the thing," his brother said cryptically, running his fingers acround the green bottle and picking at the label.
"And what does that mean, then?" Regulus asked, rolling his eyes.
"Means...brides are supposed to look beautiful, and the groom is supposed to be irrisistable. You wouldn't want me going through this ceremony believing our cousin to look less than her best, would you?" Sirius was getting too close, and Regulus was no longer sure what point he was trying to make. He sighed and shoved against Sirius' chest, hating the heavy stink of wine that clung to Sirius all too obviously.
"Why don't you just sit through the whole thing with a cigarette dangling from your mouth?" the younger Black shot at his brother, "or perhaps you'd like to glance through one of those muggle porn books you're so fond of."
He'd expected Sirius to at least have the decency to blush, or make excuses. But instead he grinned his stupid, arrogant grin and up-ended the bottle into his mouth.
Later Sirius moved ahead of him, shaking Lucius' hand and kissing Narcissa's cheek.
"See? Now I'd fuck both of them," Sirius murmured as Regulus moved away, looking ahead for his mother hand father. Regulus couldn't stop himself from going bright red as Sirius' wine stained lips spread into another stupid, arrogant grin.
Title: Password?
Summary: Sirius needs to get back into the tower, but he's forgotten the password.
Characters/Pairings: Sirius Black. The Fat Lady.
Genre: Gen
Rating/Warnings: G
Word Count: 90
Challenge #46
"No, I have not lost weight," the Fat Lady snapped.
"You know me," Sirius said casually "it's not like I'm some random bloke you've never even seen."
"Do you want me to tell the Headmaster that you've been wandering about the castle, and that you've forgotten the password?" she asked irritably.
"That depends, do you want me to tell him that it was you who ate the hogroast in that painting in the astronomy tower, so the painting had to be scrapped?"
The Fat Lady gave a huff and swung forward.
Sam//Slytherin