Fic: Rita's lucky day [PG]
Title: Rita's lucky day
Summary: Rita Skeeter may have finally found the story of a lifetime.
Characters/Pairings: Rita Skeeter
Genre: Crack!fic, crossover (but I'm not telling with what)
Rating/Warnings: PG
Word Count: 517
Author's Note: Written for emeryboard, cuz I lurves her!
Rita thought that surely she must have died and gone to investigative journalism heaven.
She'd flown in through an open window, and wandered the halls of Hogwarts looking for a story. On the seventh floor corridor, she'd watched a mysterious door dissolve into the wall after the secretive exit of a trio of Slytherins. Still in her beetle form, she had crawled up and down in front of the spot, trying desperately to figure out a way into the secret room. After the third trip, the door reappeared, just as inexplicably as it had vanished.
And now, here she stood.
In a room of mysteries. Surrounded by all the secrets of generations of wizards. Secrets, piled to the ceiling, all waiting for her talent to expose.
Wandering into the depths of the room, she picked up items at random, looking for her next story.
Dear Moony,
They will be coming for me soon. Only now, when it is too late, do I realize the terrible mistake I've made in mistrusting you. I pray that one day--
Teen angst! She could make that up just fine on her own.
She stuck her head into a cabinet, and found instead the darkened corner of a dusty shop. She crept forward a few paces, but quickly returned to the secret room when she recognized the familiar sight of Knockturn Alley through a smudged window.
Boring! Couldn't she find a secret passage that went somewhere interesting?
I love you and I'm totally going to have your babies! We are meant to be together, and once I've rescued you from the Dark Lord, you're going to forget all about her.
Love
Mary Sue
Gah! Children were so ridiculously melodramatic!
She picked up an old book, but quickly tossed it aside when she found it was merely an old potions textbook, full of the scribbling of unimportant school children.
Why would anyone bother to hide a textbook inside the secret room of a school? Wasn't that a bit redundant?
She picked up a shiny tiara, trying it on in the reflection of a suit of arms. It glistened and shined, the delicate metalwork fitting her perfectly. There was nothing magical about it, though, and no way to tell who its owner had been.
Pretty, but useless.
She turned a corner, and found a strange box. Opening the door, she let herself inside. It was an enclosed room that was bigger on the inside than on the outside, rather like a wizard's camping tent. The decorations were a little strange, all curved pipes, glowing lights, and strange machinery. She pushed a button, but nothing seemed to happen. Letting herself back out again, she looked at it one last time.
A little odd - why would anyone want to camp in a tent disguised as a public call box? - but not particularly interesting. She was no expert in muggle artifacts, but it didn't even look right. They weren't supposed to be blue, were they?
She moved on, beginning to feel a little disappointed.
All the secrets of Hogwarts, and nothing worth writing about.
Kimberly//Ravenclaw
can I have a tag for Rita please?
Summary: Rita Skeeter may have finally found the story of a lifetime.
Characters/Pairings: Rita Skeeter
Genre: Crack!fic, crossover (but I'm not telling with what)
Rating/Warnings: PG
Word Count: 517
Author's Note: Written for emeryboard, cuz I lurves her!
Rita thought that surely she must have died and gone to investigative journalism heaven.
She'd flown in through an open window, and wandered the halls of Hogwarts looking for a story. On the seventh floor corridor, she'd watched a mysterious door dissolve into the wall after the secretive exit of a trio of Slytherins. Still in her beetle form, she had crawled up and down in front of the spot, trying desperately to figure out a way into the secret room. After the third trip, the door reappeared, just as inexplicably as it had vanished.
And now, here she stood.
In a room of mysteries. Surrounded by all the secrets of generations of wizards. Secrets, piled to the ceiling, all waiting for her talent to expose.
Wandering into the depths of the room, she picked up items at random, looking for her next story.
Dear Moony,
They will be coming for me soon. Only now, when it is too late, do I realize the terrible mistake I've made in mistrusting you. I pray that one day--
Teen angst! She could make that up just fine on her own.
She stuck her head into a cabinet, and found instead the darkened corner of a dusty shop. She crept forward a few paces, but quickly returned to the secret room when she recognized the familiar sight of Knockturn Alley through a smudged window.
Boring! Couldn't she find a secret passage that went somewhere interesting?
I love you and I'm totally going to have your babies! We are meant to be together, and once I've rescued you from the Dark Lord, you're going to forget all about her.
Love
Mary Sue
Gah! Children were so ridiculously melodramatic!
She picked up an old book, but quickly tossed it aside when she found it was merely an old potions textbook, full of the scribbling of unimportant school children.
Why would anyone bother to hide a textbook inside the secret room of a school? Wasn't that a bit redundant?
She picked up a shiny tiara, trying it on in the reflection of a suit of arms. It glistened and shined, the delicate metalwork fitting her perfectly. There was nothing magical about it, though, and no way to tell who its owner had been.
Pretty, but useless.
She turned a corner, and found a strange box. Opening the door, she let herself inside. It was an enclosed room that was bigger on the inside than on the outside, rather like a wizard's camping tent. The decorations were a little strange, all curved pipes, glowing lights, and strange machinery. She pushed a button, but nothing seemed to happen. Letting herself back out again, she looked at it one last time.
A little odd - why would anyone want to camp in a tent disguised as a public call box? - but not particularly interesting. She was no expert in muggle artifacts, but it didn't even look right. They weren't supposed to be blue, were they?
She moved on, beginning to feel a little disappointed.
All the secrets of Hogwarts, and nothing worth writing about.
Kimberly//Ravenclaw
can I have a tag for Rita please?