Ficlet: Bait and Switch
Title: Bait and Switch
Summary: Harry finds Hermione tending an unfamiliar child. Author's note: This is based on a time travel brainworm that got stuck in my head a few days ago.
Characters/Pairings: Hermione Granger, Harry Potter, Tom Riddle
Genre: General
Rating/Warnings: G
Medium: Ficlet
Word Count: 525
Can the Order post to Tumblr?: Sure
If yes, your Tumblr username: N/A
“Hermione? Is that you? Whose kid are you holding there?”
Hermione smiled slightly. “Mine.”
Harry blinked. “I missed something important, didn’t I? I’m pretty sure you didn’t have a toddler yesterday.”
“You’re right.” Hermione’s fingers stroked lightly through the little boy’s dark hair.
“Right then, what’s his name?”
“Tom Marvolo Riddle.”
“That’s not funny. Why would you name a child that?”
“I didn’t.”
“Well, who the hell did?”
“His mother. Merope Gaunt.”
Harry blinked again.
“Maybe you should sit down while I explain.”
Little Tom opened his dark eyes for a moment, smiled sleepily at Harry, and went back to flopping contentedly on Hermione’s shoulder.
Harry slipped bonelessly onto the nearest chair.
Harry could barely keep his voice level. “God, what hubris! This is the kind of thing Snape would have skewered someone for, and rightly so! My God, did you think it would come off without a hitch? ‘Oh, let’s just swipe Tom Riddle from the past and restructure his mind according to current psychopathology intervention. What could possibly go wrong?’ God, Hermione, what the hell is wrong with you?”
Hermione gently moved back and forth on the rocking chair, lulling Tom back to his napping. “Finished?”
“No!”
“I’ll wait till you are, then.”
“Hermione, this is serious. What are we supposed to do with a lobotomized three-year-old Riddle?”
“He’s not lobotomized. I’ve just restructured some neural pathways known to be atypical in psychopaths. The rest of him is fine.”
“‘The rest of him is fine.’ God, Hermione, listen to yourself. This is monstrous. This is much worse than what you did to your parents.”
Hermione regarded Harry silently.
Harry swallowed and ran a hand roughly through his hair. “And what the hell have you done to the timeline?”
Hermione raised an eyebrow. “All the paradoxes have stabilized or we wouldn’t be having this conversation. Honestly, Harry, I haven’t headed the Department of Mysteries for the last two decades and learned nothing. Calm yourself, please.”
“What are we supposed to do with toddler Riddle exactly? Stick him back in an orphanage and hope for the best?”
“I will raise him. With Draco.”
Harry ran out of words completely.
Hermione rolled her eyes. “Who else is both knowledgeable and capable? We’ve been running the Department of Mysteries quite effectively for years. Draco and I are a good team. And we both know the relevant research. Besides, any...course corrections that are required can be facilitated by the Malfoy family resources.”
“You...and Malfoy...are going to raise a devil-super-genius toddler Tom Riddle...who’s been neurally altered to be less of a psychotic maniac.”
“Technically, to not be psychotic at all. We turned on his empathy, or should have done anyway. With proper nurturing, he’ll be a great asset to our world with that intellect.”
Harry rested his face in his palms. “This is madness.”
“But is it madness that the Minister for Magic will speak out against publicly?”
“Let the Minister of Magic have a stiff drink or ten and get back to you on that.”
She gently stroked little Tom’s head. “You do that, Mr. Minister. We’ll be here.”
“That is exactly why I need those drinks.”
18 points
Summary: Harry finds Hermione tending an unfamiliar child. Author's note: This is based on a time travel brainworm that got stuck in my head a few days ago.
Characters/Pairings: Hermione Granger, Harry Potter, Tom Riddle
Genre: General
Rating/Warnings: G
Medium: Ficlet
Word Count: 525
Can the Order post to Tumblr?: Sure
If yes, your Tumblr username: N/A
“Hermione? Is that you? Whose kid are you holding there?”
Hermione smiled slightly. “Mine.”
Harry blinked. “I missed something important, didn’t I? I’m pretty sure you didn’t have a toddler yesterday.”
“You’re right.” Hermione’s fingers stroked lightly through the little boy’s dark hair.
“Right then, what’s his name?”
“Tom Marvolo Riddle.”
“That’s not funny. Why would you name a child that?”
“I didn’t.”
“Well, who the hell did?”
“His mother. Merope Gaunt.”
Harry blinked again.
“Maybe you should sit down while I explain.”
Little Tom opened his dark eyes for a moment, smiled sleepily at Harry, and went back to flopping contentedly on Hermione’s shoulder.
Harry slipped bonelessly onto the nearest chair.
Harry could barely keep his voice level. “God, what hubris! This is the kind of thing Snape would have skewered someone for, and rightly so! My God, did you think it would come off without a hitch? ‘Oh, let’s just swipe Tom Riddle from the past and restructure his mind according to current psychopathology intervention. What could possibly go wrong?’ God, Hermione, what the hell is wrong with you?”
Hermione gently moved back and forth on the rocking chair, lulling Tom back to his napping. “Finished?”
“No!”
“I’ll wait till you are, then.”
“Hermione, this is serious. What are we supposed to do with a lobotomized three-year-old Riddle?”
“He’s not lobotomized. I’ve just restructured some neural pathways known to be atypical in psychopaths. The rest of him is fine.”
“‘The rest of him is fine.’ God, Hermione, listen to yourself. This is monstrous. This is much worse than what you did to your parents.”
Hermione regarded Harry silently.
Harry swallowed and ran a hand roughly through his hair. “And what the hell have you done to the timeline?”
Hermione raised an eyebrow. “All the paradoxes have stabilized or we wouldn’t be having this conversation. Honestly, Harry, I haven’t headed the Department of Mysteries for the last two decades and learned nothing. Calm yourself, please.”
“What are we supposed to do with toddler Riddle exactly? Stick him back in an orphanage and hope for the best?”
“I will raise him. With Draco.”
Harry ran out of words completely.
Hermione rolled her eyes. “Who else is both knowledgeable and capable? We’ve been running the Department of Mysteries quite effectively for years. Draco and I are a good team. And we both know the relevant research. Besides, any...course corrections that are required can be facilitated by the Malfoy family resources.”
“You...and Malfoy...are going to raise a devil-super-genius toddler Tom Riddle...who’s been neurally altered to be less of a psychotic maniac.”
“Technically, to not be psychotic at all. We turned on his empathy, or should have done anyway. With proper nurturing, he’ll be a great asset to our world with that intellect.”
Harry rested his face in his palms. “This is madness.”
“But is it madness that the Minister for Magic will speak out against publicly?”
“Let the Minister of Magic have a stiff drink or ten and get back to you on that.”
She gently stroked little Tom’s head. “You do that, Mr. Minister. We’ll be here.”
“That is exactly why I need those drinks.”
18 points