Ficlet challenge #134: Distractions
Title: Distractions
Summary: Nagini offers a suggestion for a conundrum that the Dark Trio (Voldemort, Quirinus, and Nagini) are pondering. Inspired by the prompt “bowtruckle”. Set in a more fleshed out backstory of Quirinus Quirrell, which can be found on FFnet.
Characters/Pairings: Quirinus Quirrell, Nagini, Voldemort
Genre: General, Humor
Rating/Warnings: G
Medium: Ficlet
Word Count: 698
Can the Order post to Tumblr?: Sure
If yes, your Tumblr username: N/A
I growled in frustration as the delicate spell construct fell apart in front of me. It had been about as stable as a soufflé, but it had been beautiful with its wispy spires smelling of spun sugar and winter night. Now we’d have to start from scratch. Again.
You should look for a new wand. Nagini’s voice settled on my thoughts like a warm cloak as her weight slid across my shoulders. That might help.
“You think so?” I eyed my alder wand with its core of unicorn hair. “This wood’s supposed to be the best for nonverbal spells, and we certainly want this little devil to be silent.”
Worth a try. They say insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.
I blinked, placing the paraphrase. “Where did you run across Einstein’s supposed sayings?”
Our Lord’s amusement dripped slowly down my spine, his voice floating from the back of my head. “You’re positively droll, Quirinus. You should know by now that the real question is where did you run across it. Nagini’s merely borrowing.”
“Mmm.” My hand trembled just for a moment against Nagini before I resumed stroking, feeling the echo of my stroke down my own back. Bizarre familiar bond, check. “Back to wands, then. Was there an option you had in mind?” I rummaged my memories for useful information. “Pine is good for non-verbal work and it enjoys novelty. Willow also has a proclivity for non-verbal, and walnut is good for innovation, which Heaven knows we could use support for...”
Poplar. Nagini’s certainty wrapped my thoughts the way her body wrapped mine.
I wracked my brain for what I knew about poplar. “Clear moral vision? For us?”
We are very clear.
I smiled. “Very clearly bad, love.”
Clear is clear, isn’t it? Does it say we have to be good?
“What’s gotten poplar into your head? Something’s put it there.” I scritched the scales just under her jaw. “Come on now - ‘fess up.”
I had a sudden infrared flash of our last few treks through the Forbidden Forest, and the various groves of poplar trees. Something moved at the base of the trees, something with heat in its twiggy little limbs. I felt a wanting in my core, a desire to swallow those lithe little limbs just to see how they felt going down.
Bizarre familiar bond, doublecheck. “You want to see how a bowtruckle tastes, don’t you?”
Nagini twitched against me, shifting her head to blink slowly at me.
“You know, you’re positively wretched at the innocent blink.”
An iron fist wrapped around both my thoughts and Nagini’s, clear warning behind it. “Enough playtime, children. This spell construct won’t make itself.”
But the bowtruckles? If we’re successful, then can we try them?
“Patience, love,” I whispered. “Work first, play later.”
“Quite right, Quirinus. That said, perhaps Nagini’s onto something with a different wand. We should procure one of pine, I think.”
“Late night outing to Ollivander’s, then?”
“Unless you’ve noticed a pine wand in Hogwarts.”
I nodded. “Probably simplest to get one that’s not bonded to its owner yet. To Ollivander’s we go.”
Does Ollivander’s have bowtruckles?
Our Lord’s rage slapped hard through us. “Enough with your infernal fixation on those creatures! Listen to Quirinus and focus on the task at hand.”
Nagini curved into me, shuddering against the reprimand.
I rubbed my cheek lightly against her jaw, and murmured, “Tasty bowtruckle play later, I promise. Work now. Papa’s irritable.”
A frustrated sigh escaped from the back of my head. “Bloody distractible familiars. It’s a wonder I get anything done.”
I gently slid a finger up and down Nagini’s scales. “With all due respect, my Lord, you’re fortunate not to feel the draw of those bowtruckles yourself. It’s quite tempting to a reptilian mind.”
Mild irritation flicked through me. “Quirinus, what makes you think I don’t? I am, after all, physically enmeshed in the back of your head.”
Well. “We’re in those uncharted Dark Arts waters again, aren’t we?”
“Focus, Quirinus. We have a wand heist to plan and your collective nonsense is giving me a headache.”
A headache? I didn’t feel anythi-
“Focus, Quirinus.”
“Yes, my Lord.”
28 points
Summary: Nagini offers a suggestion for a conundrum that the Dark Trio (Voldemort, Quirinus, and Nagini) are pondering. Inspired by the prompt “bowtruckle”. Set in a more fleshed out backstory of Quirinus Quirrell, which can be found on FFnet.
Characters/Pairings: Quirinus Quirrell, Nagini, Voldemort
Genre: General, Humor
Rating/Warnings: G
Medium: Ficlet
Word Count: 698
Can the Order post to Tumblr?: Sure
If yes, your Tumblr username: N/A
I growled in frustration as the delicate spell construct fell apart in front of me. It had been about as stable as a soufflé, but it had been beautiful with its wispy spires smelling of spun sugar and winter night. Now we’d have to start from scratch. Again.
You should look for a new wand. Nagini’s voice settled on my thoughts like a warm cloak as her weight slid across my shoulders. That might help.
“You think so?” I eyed my alder wand with its core of unicorn hair. “This wood’s supposed to be the best for nonverbal spells, and we certainly want this little devil to be silent.”
Worth a try. They say insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.
I blinked, placing the paraphrase. “Where did you run across Einstein’s supposed sayings?”
Our Lord’s amusement dripped slowly down my spine, his voice floating from the back of my head. “You’re positively droll, Quirinus. You should know by now that the real question is where did you run across it. Nagini’s merely borrowing.”
“Mmm.” My hand trembled just for a moment against Nagini before I resumed stroking, feeling the echo of my stroke down my own back. Bizarre familiar bond, check. “Back to wands, then. Was there an option you had in mind?” I rummaged my memories for useful information. “Pine is good for non-verbal work and it enjoys novelty. Willow also has a proclivity for non-verbal, and walnut is good for innovation, which Heaven knows we could use support for...”
Poplar. Nagini’s certainty wrapped my thoughts the way her body wrapped mine.
I wracked my brain for what I knew about poplar. “Clear moral vision? For us?”
We are very clear.
I smiled. “Very clearly bad, love.”
Clear is clear, isn’t it? Does it say we have to be good?
“What’s gotten poplar into your head? Something’s put it there.” I scritched the scales just under her jaw. “Come on now - ‘fess up.”
I had a sudden infrared flash of our last few treks through the Forbidden Forest, and the various groves of poplar trees. Something moved at the base of the trees, something with heat in its twiggy little limbs. I felt a wanting in my core, a desire to swallow those lithe little limbs just to see how they felt going down.
Bizarre familiar bond, doublecheck. “You want to see how a bowtruckle tastes, don’t you?”
Nagini twitched against me, shifting her head to blink slowly at me.
“You know, you’re positively wretched at the innocent blink.”
An iron fist wrapped around both my thoughts and Nagini’s, clear warning behind it. “Enough playtime, children. This spell construct won’t make itself.”
But the bowtruckles? If we’re successful, then can we try them?
“Patience, love,” I whispered. “Work first, play later.”
“Quite right, Quirinus. That said, perhaps Nagini’s onto something with a different wand. We should procure one of pine, I think.”
“Late night outing to Ollivander’s, then?”
“Unless you’ve noticed a pine wand in Hogwarts.”
I nodded. “Probably simplest to get one that’s not bonded to its owner yet. To Ollivander’s we go.”
Does Ollivander’s have bowtruckles?
Our Lord’s rage slapped hard through us. “Enough with your infernal fixation on those creatures! Listen to Quirinus and focus on the task at hand.”
Nagini curved into me, shuddering against the reprimand.
I rubbed my cheek lightly against her jaw, and murmured, “Tasty bowtruckle play later, I promise. Work now. Papa’s irritable.”
A frustrated sigh escaped from the back of my head. “Bloody distractible familiars. It’s a wonder I get anything done.”
I gently slid a finger up and down Nagini’s scales. “With all due respect, my Lord, you’re fortunate not to feel the draw of those bowtruckles yourself. It’s quite tempting to a reptilian mind.”
Mild irritation flicked through me. “Quirinus, what makes you think I don’t? I am, after all, physically enmeshed in the back of your head.”
Well. “We’re in those uncharted Dark Arts waters again, aren’t we?”
“Focus, Quirinus. We have a wand heist to plan and your collective nonsense is giving me a headache.”
A headache? I didn’t feel anythi-
“Focus, Quirinus.”
“Yes, my Lord.”
28 points