Fic: Don't Even Notice When The Sun Starts Shining
Title: Don't Even Notice When The Sun Starts Shining
Summary: The Order members have a story to tell.
Characters/Pairings: Various Order members, Severus, Sirius
Genre: Humour
Rating/Warnings: PG-13
Medium: Fic
Word Count: 1082
Can the Order post to Tumblr?: Yes
If yes, your Tumblr username: monkiainen
Notes: Written for the 2016 fest of sirius_black.I wanted to play serious, but then Sirius went all Marauders with this. So, the end result is perhaps a bit cracky…
The Tale of how Sirius Black and Severus Snape got together, told by the members of the Order of the Phoenix, in not-quite-chronological order
* * *
Harry Potter:
Look, I really have nothing to say about on this matter. I wasn't even allowed to the meetings, you know, even though I'm the "Boy Who Lived". All I can say is that Professor Snape is a more pleasant teacher these days, and Sirius looks happy.
I just don't understand how they were so blind!
Albus Dumbledore:
Well, yes, as you can see my scheming worked, as usual. Of course I couldn't say anything to either Sirius or Severus, because they would have done the opposite just to spite me. Due to Sirius's unfortunate stint in Azkaban I couldn't execute my plan sooner, but look how happy they are now! I'm expecting an invite to their wedding at any moment. They still haven't thanked me properly for their happiness, so I guess they are still having a "honeymoon phase".
Nymphadora Tonks:
DON'T CALL ME NYMPHADORA! Well, okay, what was it that you asked? Oh, about Sirius and Severus? Geez, where should I start?
They were having this alpha-male-type of pissing contest every bloody time we had a meeting. Severus would rile Sirius on purpose, mocking his manhood and the lack of freedom. And, well, Sirius is so hot-tempered he always lost his temper to Severus, and the hexes started flying after every meeting. It was so damn ridiculous! It was like they were back in school again, and had never grown up.
Anyway, we were all getting rather tired of it, because it took away energy and valuable time we could have uses to, you know, plot against Voldemort? So then Remus had this brilliant ide…
Remus Lupin:
Excuse me, but I didn't have any "brilliant ideas" about my best friend and a colleague!
Minerva McGonagall:
Do we really have to have this conversation? I find it very distasteful to talk about my former students and current colleagues in this manner. I believe it's their private matter after all.
Fleur Delacour:
Monsieurs Black et Snape? Charmant!
Mundungus Fletcher:
What? No, it wasn't me, I didn't steal anything!
Alastor "Mad-Eye" Moody:
Well, let's say that I've seen more than I ever wanted to about those two. Constant vigilance, I say! They are forgetting everything I've ever taught to them because they can only see each other. Inserting body parts in every imaginable hole, everywhere and anytime they can, as if they were two teenage boys instead of adult men.
If you ask it from me, it was about a time! Everyone else but them could clearly see that they belonged together. Me especially, because I see and hear everything. Constant vigilance!
Kingsley Shacklebolt:
As Tonks already mentioned, we were all getting rather tired of the on-going pissing contest between Sirius and Severus. Have you ever heard of the saying "The horse kicks out of love, too"? It fit those two stubborn boneheads better than well, that's what I say!
So, because those two weren't clearly going to realise what was best for them any time soon, we devised a plan. By "we" I mean myself, Miss Granger and Arthur. The smaller amount of people knew about the actual plan, the better. There are… certain individuals who like to meddle with everything, even if it would be better if they didn't.
The plan was so simple and elegant that I wasn't quite sure it was going to work. After all, we were planning on manipulating a wizard skilled in the art of Legilimency, a feat not just anyone could have attempted.
Hermione Granger:
It was fairly easy once we had all mastered the art of Occlumency. I can't understand why it was so hard for Harry to learn it, it was quite easy. Well, Arthur had some issues at first, but in the end he learned the skill as well.
The ultimate plan was to lock Sirius and Severus in one room and throw away the key. Without their wands, of course. Well, they are quite good at wandless magic, but still.
We found just the perfect room at the attic, and all we had to do was to get them in the same place at the same time. Easier said than done, but we did manage it in the end. I think I still haven't apologized to Ron for what happened…
Arthur Weasley:
First off, despite what Molly says, I do not give in too easily when it comes to our children. Oh, we weren't talking about that?
So, where was I… Like Hermione said, it wasn't going to be easy to get Sirius and Severus to the same room at the same time, without having an Order meeting. It required some help in form of a Diricawl and a Nimbus 1000. And Ron, although in retrospect it would have been a good idea to warn him beforehand what was going to happen.
Well, we eventually got Sirius and Severus in the same room, and I was able to leave them behind in the pretence of checking Ron's injuries. Hermione of course followed suit, and Kingsley had "an important meeting at the Ministry". We locked the room with Unlocking Charm, and placed some wards around the door that would stop any hostile persons leaving the room. Then all we had to do was to wait what would happen.
Severus Snape:
I'm most disappointed with my fellow Order members. A Diricawl and a Nimbus 1000? I would have thought that Miss Granger had more imagination than that - although I must congratulate her for mastering the skill of Occlumency. Not perfectly, of course, but fairly well for a beginner.
I must admit, being locked into a same room with Sirius without interruptions was a quite pleasant surprise. It's not often that we get to spend quality time together.
Sirius Black:
Oh yes, it was quite a night, I tell you that! Those soundproofing charms worked like a magic and we could be as loud as we wanted!
I'm just glad we don't have to hide our relationship anymore. It was so difficult to pretend that we still hated each other, when in fact we were very much in love. It's just that… I don't know, maybe we thought it would be easier for Severus to maintain his cover if no one knew about us. As long as our relationship remained secret, it couldn't be used against Severus.
I still like it better this way - we've already wasted so much time hating each other when we could have had it all from the beginning. Oh well, it's better late than never!
36 points for Hufflepuff!
Summary: The Order members have a story to tell.
Characters/Pairings: Various Order members, Severus, Sirius
Genre: Humour
Rating/Warnings: PG-13
Medium: Fic
Word Count: 1082
Can the Order post to Tumblr?: Yes
If yes, your Tumblr username: monkiainen
Notes: Written for the 2016 fest of sirius_black.I wanted to play serious, but then Sirius went all Marauders with this. So, the end result is perhaps a bit cracky…
The Tale of how Sirius Black and Severus Snape got together, told by the members of the Order of the Phoenix, in not-quite-chronological order
* * *
Harry Potter:
Look, I really have nothing to say about on this matter. I wasn't even allowed to the meetings, you know, even though I'm the "Boy Who Lived". All I can say is that Professor Snape is a more pleasant teacher these days, and Sirius looks happy.
I just don't understand how they were so blind!
Albus Dumbledore:
Well, yes, as you can see my scheming worked, as usual. Of course I couldn't say anything to either Sirius or Severus, because they would have done the opposite just to spite me. Due to Sirius's unfortunate stint in Azkaban I couldn't execute my plan sooner, but look how happy they are now! I'm expecting an invite to their wedding at any moment. They still haven't thanked me properly for their happiness, so I guess they are still having a "honeymoon phase".
Nymphadora Tonks:
DON'T CALL ME NYMPHADORA! Well, okay, what was it that you asked? Oh, about Sirius and Severus? Geez, where should I start?
They were having this alpha-male-type of pissing contest every bloody time we had a meeting. Severus would rile Sirius on purpose, mocking his manhood and the lack of freedom. And, well, Sirius is so hot-tempered he always lost his temper to Severus, and the hexes started flying after every meeting. It was so damn ridiculous! It was like they were back in school again, and had never grown up.
Anyway, we were all getting rather tired of it, because it took away energy and valuable time we could have uses to, you know, plot against Voldemort? So then Remus had this brilliant ide…
Remus Lupin:
Excuse me, but I didn't have any "brilliant ideas" about my best friend and a colleague!
Minerva McGonagall:
Do we really have to have this conversation? I find it very distasteful to talk about my former students and current colleagues in this manner. I believe it's their private matter after all.
Fleur Delacour:
Monsieurs Black et Snape? Charmant!
Mundungus Fletcher:
What? No, it wasn't me, I didn't steal anything!
Alastor "Mad-Eye" Moody:
Well, let's say that I've seen more than I ever wanted to about those two. Constant vigilance, I say! They are forgetting everything I've ever taught to them because they can only see each other. Inserting body parts in every imaginable hole, everywhere and anytime they can, as if they were two teenage boys instead of adult men.
If you ask it from me, it was about a time! Everyone else but them could clearly see that they belonged together. Me especially, because I see and hear everything. Constant vigilance!
Kingsley Shacklebolt:
As Tonks already mentioned, we were all getting rather tired of the on-going pissing contest between Sirius and Severus. Have you ever heard of the saying "The horse kicks out of love, too"? It fit those two stubborn boneheads better than well, that's what I say!
So, because those two weren't clearly going to realise what was best for them any time soon, we devised a plan. By "we" I mean myself, Miss Granger and Arthur. The smaller amount of people knew about the actual plan, the better. There are… certain individuals who like to meddle with everything, even if it would be better if they didn't.
The plan was so simple and elegant that I wasn't quite sure it was going to work. After all, we were planning on manipulating a wizard skilled in the art of Legilimency, a feat not just anyone could have attempted.
Hermione Granger:
It was fairly easy once we had all mastered the art of Occlumency. I can't understand why it was so hard for Harry to learn it, it was quite easy. Well, Arthur had some issues at first, but in the end he learned the skill as well.
The ultimate plan was to lock Sirius and Severus in one room and throw away the key. Without their wands, of course. Well, they are quite good at wandless magic, but still.
We found just the perfect room at the attic, and all we had to do was to get them in the same place at the same time. Easier said than done, but we did manage it in the end. I think I still haven't apologized to Ron for what happened…
Arthur Weasley:
First off, despite what Molly says, I do not give in too easily when it comes to our children. Oh, we weren't talking about that?
So, where was I… Like Hermione said, it wasn't going to be easy to get Sirius and Severus to the same room at the same time, without having an Order meeting. It required some help in form of a Diricawl and a Nimbus 1000. And Ron, although in retrospect it would have been a good idea to warn him beforehand what was going to happen.
Well, we eventually got Sirius and Severus in the same room, and I was able to leave them behind in the pretence of checking Ron's injuries. Hermione of course followed suit, and Kingsley had "an important meeting at the Ministry". We locked the room with Unlocking Charm, and placed some wards around the door that would stop any hostile persons leaving the room. Then all we had to do was to wait what would happen.
Severus Snape:
I'm most disappointed with my fellow Order members. A Diricawl and a Nimbus 1000? I would have thought that Miss Granger had more imagination than that - although I must congratulate her for mastering the skill of Occlumency. Not perfectly, of course, but fairly well for a beginner.
I must admit, being locked into a same room with Sirius without interruptions was a quite pleasant surprise. It's not often that we get to spend quality time together.
Sirius Black:
Oh yes, it was quite a night, I tell you that! Those soundproofing charms worked like a magic and we could be as loud as we wanted!
I'm just glad we don't have to hide our relationship anymore. It was so difficult to pretend that we still hated each other, when in fact we were very much in love. It's just that… I don't know, maybe we thought it would be easier for Severus to maintain his cover if no one knew about us. As long as our relationship remained secret, it couldn't be used against Severus.
I still like it better this way - we've already wasted so much time hating each other when we could have had it all from the beginning. Oh well, it's better late than never!
36 points for Hufflepuff!