Title: The Tale of the Toaster
Summary: Draco Malfoy is late for work. Again. And the bloody toaster ate his bloody wallet. Bugger.
Characters/Pairings: Draco/Hermione
Genre: Humor
Beta: none
Rating/Warnings: PG for language
Medium: Ficlet
Word Count: 699
Can the Order post to Tumblr?: Yes
If yes, your Tumblr username: heartsamongstars
How on earth did that get stuck in there? Of all the bloody…
Draco Malfoy heaved a huge sigh, and unplugged the blasted contraption. “Stupid, useless, Muggle things. Should’ve never let her talk me into this. I knew this was a bad idea.” He retrieved his wand, wondering how best to extricate the object from his toaster. If he used a simple Accio, though, he might bring the entire toaster crashing into his face.
“Draco, what are you muttering about in there? Stop whatever you’re doing and come in here. I need you.”
His wife’s voice called to him from the living room, but he paid her no mind. There would be time to deal with her later. This was practically her fault anyway.
“Draco.”
No response.
“Draco, are you listening to me?”
More silence.
“Draco Abraxas Malfoy, you get your pompous Pureblood arse right here this instant. I need my feet rubbed! This baby of yours is making my feet hurt. Come fix it!”
Her shrill cries were grating on his nerves, but he was determined to fix this first. He needed to leave, and soon, damn it, or he was going to be late for the third time this week. With the new regulations they had placed at the Ministry, he couldn’t Apparate to his office anymore. No, he had to Apparate to the proper Apparition points, and then take the bloody, stupid, slow lift all the way up to his department.
Buggering hell, he was going to be late. Again.
“DRACO!”
He gritted his teeth. “You’re not helping, Hermione!”
“Helping with what? You’re supposed to be helping me, you pillock! This is your child I’m carrying, so it’s your fault that my feet are being absolutely atrocious right now! I just need you to rub them.”
He groaned, rubbing a frustrated hand over his face. “I can’t talk right now, Hermione. I have to get my wallet out of the toaster. And I’m going to be late for work. Again!”
“The toaster… What on earth?”
To his dismay, he heard the familiar sounds of his very pregnant, very large (but still very beautiful) wife getting up from her favorite recliner, slipping on her fuzzy slippers, and waddling to the kitchen. He didn’t even bother to tell her to go sit back down-which, he realized, probably made him a right awful husband. He really should massage his wife’s feet. It was his baby (that she helped make, he reminded himself) that was causing her pain, after all.
But later. Right now he needed to get his damn wallet.
“How on earth did you get your wallet in the toaster, Draco?”
“Well, I didn’t do it, obviously. And I’m guessing you didn’t do it.” He groaned then, realizing who probably did do it. “It must have been Scorpius. Damn it, I’ve told him over and over again not to touch my things.”
His wife shook her head, somewhat amused, and toddled to the counter where the offending object lay decidedly uninnocently. “He’s two, Draco. Of course he’s going to touch your things. It’s your fault for leaving it within his reach, anyway.”
“That’s the problem though, isn’t it? He can reach everywhere! I swear to Merlin, that boy climbs like a bloody monkey. It’s disturbing.”
“It’s called being two.”
With the skill that only a woman who had grown up with a toaster could have, she flipped a small switch, and the wallet popped out, looking slightly worse for wear.
“There. Now, will you massage my feet?”
Draco grabbed his wallet, checking over its contents quickly before stuffing it in his robe pockets. “Thank you, love, and you know I would, but I’m going to be so late for work.”
Her bottom lip trembled at his response, and he knew he was done for.
“But, Draco, my feet just hurt so bad, and-”
He shushed her with a soft kiss. “Fine, fine. You’re so demanding, you know that? And manipulative. You know that look gets me every time.” He led her over to the couch, his heart flipping slightly at the smile on her face. “Sit down, witch, and give me your feet.”
She happily complied.
698 words + challenge = 28 pts
Title: Of Shocks and Surprises
Summary: A Slytherin spies something surprising and is suddenly speechless.
Characters/Pairings: Draco/Hermione + surprise
Genre: Humor
Beta: none
Rating/Warnings: G
Medium: Ficlet
Word Count: 216
Can the Order post to Tumblr?: Yes
If yes, your Tumblr username: heartsamongstars
“AARGH!!”
The couple sprang away from each other as if on fire, both heads whipping about to find the source of the scream.
Draco Malfoy stood at the doorway of the common room. His eyes were wide, mouth hanging open in shock.
“Wh-what…you two…snog…!!”
The couple in question looked at each other with a grimace. They’d been caught.
“Oh, please, Malfoy, stop acting so naive. They’ve been shagging for two whole weeks now. It’s hardly news.”
A snooty voice floated down the stairs as Hermione Granger descended from the girl’s dormitory.
Draco turned his shocked expression to her. “You knew about…this?!”
“Of course I did. Doesn’t everyone?”
Pansy snorted. “Apparently not.” She rose from the couch, disentangling herself from her red-headed boyfriend’s amorous embrace, and went to comfort her bewildered friend. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, Draco. Ron and I didn’t want you to find out like this.”
Unfortunately, Draco had not yet regained the power of speech. “B-but…you…! And…him!”
Taking pity on him, Hermione gently placed her hand on his shoulder, kissing his sputtering lips. “It’s ok, love. I’ll explain it to you.”
With a sly smile at the two newly-discovered lovers (and a wink at Ron, whose face now matched his fiery hair), she led her confounded boyfriend from the Gryffindor common room.
7 pts
Title: Hoping for Friendship
Summary: Hermione is nervous, and rightly so.
Characters/Pairings: Draco/Hermione
Genre: Gen
Beta: none
Rating/Warnings: G
Medium: Ficlet
Word Count: 206
Can the Order post to Tumblr?: Yes
If yes, your Tumblr username: heartsamongstars
Her eyes darted back and forth between the three boys before her. She was nervous, and rightly so.
She’d finally told them, her two best friends. She’d finally come clean about her involvement-nay, her romance-with their childhood enemy. Sure, the War had been over for about five years now, and many people had changed for the better because of the Light’s victory.
But some petty childhood rivalries still stood strong. And the rivalry between her two best boys and her current boyfriend had been as strong as steel.
Harry caved first.
He stuck out a hand.
Draco eyed the offering warily, and Ron’s eyes narrowed in response. After a beat, Draco shook it.
Hermione let out a sigh of relief. The tension in the room dissipated somewhat.
Following Harry’s example, Ron held out his hand. Draco shook that as well (and if he squeezed harder and shook it more forcefully than he had Harry’s, well, Hermione was going to take what she could get.)
Her boys did love her, it seemed.
A happy smile crossed Hermione’s lips as she stared at the three most important men in her life (save her father, but that’s a given). Maybe there was hope for friendship after all.
7 pts
Maxed out